Double Dick Dude's Memoir Reads Like a 'Letters to Penthouse' Reject

Around this time last year, the man with two dicks and an award-winning attitude took the internet by storm, earning himself the fourth-highest ranking AMA on Reddit and gracing the pages of every website you've ever visited. And then he wrote a book, which is so thirsty I wanted to ship him a crate of Gatorade… » 1/19/15 9:20am 1/19/15 9:20am

Taste Test: The Ramen Burger, A Real Thing That Exists

There are far worse places to be on a summer Saturday morning than the Smorgasburg food festival in East River State Park. You have a view of Manhattan from the Midtown skyline to the Williamsburg Bridge. If you're bored you can chat with other people in line, most of whom recognize the inherent silliness of… » 8/28/13 3:30pm 8/28/13 3:30pm

Did The Wrong Thing. Spike Lee's Red Hook Summer, Reviewed.

Spike Lee is such a confident filmmaker that when one of his movies doesn't quite work, you almost wonder if it's your fault for not getting it. Secure in his talent for sweeping emotions and powerful visuals, he sets out to make a masterpiece with each new movie, and the worst thing you can say about him is that he… » 8/10/12 5:48pm 8/10/12 5:48pm

Zach Galifianakis And Will Ferrell Race To The Middle. The Campaign,…

1. That The Campaign could never come up with a fictional scenario that would rival the absurdity of what actually happens in our daily political discourse is an obvious point, yet one that needs to be made again nevertheless. Is any sort of shtick that Will Ferrell could dream up odder than a reality in which Newt… » 8/09/12 6:40pm 8/09/12 6:40pm

The Conspiracy To Kill A Great Movie Franchise. The Bourne Legacy,…

1. The first three Jason Bourne films had an intensity, a vitality to them that made them feel urgent and relevant, grounded in the messy real world of global capitalism and a U.S. government that was alternately confused, corrupt, and terrified. The movies didn't have a specific politics other than paranoia:… » 8/08/12 5:55pm 8/08/12 5:55pm

Nothing We Haven't Seen Before: Total Recall, Reviewed.

1. As a skeptic of the original Total Recall, I was ready to give its remake more than a fair shake. My primary issue with the original is how little it does with the film's initial, fantastical Philip K. Dick premise, that the difference between reality and fantasy is not only slim but perhaps irrelevant; that film… » 8/03/12 4:30pm 8/03/12 4:30pm

Didn't We Just Do This? The Amazing Spider-Man, Reviewed.

1. The Amazing Spider-Man is less a reboot than a recital. It's professionally made and competent and sincere and well-acted, but it never quite overcomes the nagging sense that there's no reason for it to exist. Well, actually, there is a reason: Sony, to keep the rights to the character, needed to rush a movie into… » 6/29/12 2:30pm 6/29/12 2:30pm

A Plush Bear Stuffed With Crap. Ted, Reviewed.

1. Of the myriad problems with Ted, Seth MacFarlane's flaming, masturbating fart of a comedy, the biggest one is that the teddy bear at its center is neither cute nor funny. The movie thinks he's both. For the movie's promising central joke to work—that a boy's teddy bear comes to life and then grows up alongside him… » 6/26/12 4:15pm 6/26/12 4:15pm

Twee's Company! Wes Anderson's Love Story, Moonrise Kingdom, Reviewed.

1. Wes Anderson is considered by many to be a cold, dispassionate filmmaker more interested in creating miniature worlds to run around and play in than creating well-rounded, relatable human beings to inhabit them. You constantly hear the word "dollhouse" referenced when people discuss Anderson, a twee boy… » 5/23/12 5:58pm 5/23/12 5:58pm

Why Can't Michael Bay Make Stoopid Movies Like This? Battleship,…

One of the knocks on Battleship is that it plays like a ripoff of a Michael Bay movie, but frankly, I wish any of Bay's recent films had been a fun as this very silly let's-kill-the-aliens action flick is. Directed by actor-turned-director Peter Berg (Hancock, the Friday Night Lights film), Battleship may be stoopid,… » 5/17/12 5:10pm 5/17/12 5:10pm