When the Robot War comes, there's a very good chance it will go to penalties. In that case, we will call on humanity's greatest goalscorer. But the machines have picked their champion: RoboKeeper. All hail RoboKeeper.

The Consumer Electronics Show, held in Vegas every year during the second-ish week in January, is an odd duck. Everyone is desperate to talk to you and show you things and shake your hand and trample you on the show floor and so forth. But (and this is my third time being here) there's often little that truly grabs…

When the mascots of corporations send out painfully canned condolences—our thoughts and prayers, seriously, from this ridiculously stupid dancing robot—people always say, "Oh man, I pity the poor intern that had to write that B.S." I've got news for you: It probably wasn't an intern. It was probably a well-compensated…

Fifty years from now, let's not pretend we didn't see the warning signs. They were there the whole time. Hell, this post is a warning sign. DARPA, the wing of the Department of Defense that makes all the coolest shit everyday people don't usually get to see, has released this video of Cheetah, a four-legged,…

Before Mortal Kombat arrived to satisfy my prepubescent need for button mashing, there was Rock'em Sock'em Robots, the first game I ever played where the objective was decapitation. Here's how it worked: You controlled one of two punching plastic androids—the Red Rocker or the Blue Bomber—by pushing down on two levers…

We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries.

Our French tipster Antoine sent this in with the subject line "ro basketball team training with robots," perhaps because he's aware of our constant fear of the Robot Uprising. But the Futuroscope that helped Poitiers Basket 86 develop their spatial recognition or some such nonsense doesn't inspire the same kind of…

On to the next war: the coming robot uprising. And — OH SHIT THEY CAN CATCH NOW.

One of my life goals is to throw the first pitch at a Dodgers baseball game. I daydream about it regularly, actually. But the nerves! What if I miss the catcher or, gasp, one-bounce it across home plate? I don't think I could go home after that.

Last night April 19, 2011, at 8:11pm PDT, the Skynet system went online, at least according to the Terminator franchise. Skynet first becomes self-aware tomorrow, April 21, 2011.