Team USA Wants To Inspire Baseball Kids To Be Boring Fun-Haters 

Ahead of Team USA’s World Baseball Classic final against Puerto Rico tonight, some American baseball men said some eye-rolling shit. Team USA’s second baseman Ian Kinsler told the he hoped the team could inspire the youth to Play The Right Way and grow up to be fun-hating baseball men, just like him and his teammates:

I hope kids watching the W.B.C. can watch the way we play the game and appreciate the way we play the game as opposed to the way Puerto Rico plays or the Dominican plays. That’s not taking anything away from them. That just wasn’t the way we were raised. They were raised differently and to show emotion and passion when you play. We do show emotion; we do show passion. But we just do it in a different way.

That’s right kids, please try to stifle your emotion and passion: No bat flips or forceful butt slaps. Fun? That’s bad. Puerto Rico’s Christian Colon had a good response:

And if Kinsler’s coded “they were raised differently” line strikes you as off, get a load of how manager Jim Leyland kicked off the press conference before tonight’s game.