The Story Behind Those Jerry Jones Photos Is Weirder Than The Photos

Those weird photos of Cowboys owner Jerry Jones and some ladies hanging out in what appears to be a bathroom come with an equally bughouse backstory. They were first put on the internet by a man named Frank Hoover, who alleges that they were taken by people looking to set up Jerry Jones in an extortion plot. Hoover explains all of this in his 20-page manifesto, which also makes clear that Hoover is in fact the son of God.

You can read Hoover's entire rant, which seems to be addressed directly to Jerry Jones, here; we've also embedded it at the bottom of the page. It's definitely crazy, but there's reason to believe that Hoover's rant contains at least a few slivers of reality. He got his hands on those photos, after all, and someone who knows him tells us that Hoover used to be fairly well connected in the Dallas scene and was always going to parties with Cowboys and Mavericks players. And then one day he woke up and just started believing he was the son of God. It happens.

Hoover's story goes like this: He met a guy named Kevion Hickman, AKA "24K," in February of 2011. The two started working together on a charity event with Jamie Foxx. That event eventually fell through, though, and Clark and Hoover started selling tricked-out Apple TVs as if they were drugs. Maybe? I don't know, man, I think that's what's happening in this paragraph:

He also introduced me to an Apple TV that had been bought on eBay. The device had special software on it allowing for unlimited live, on-demand and sports programming. The software version was titled Eden and Apple is the one mentioned in the bible in the Garden of Eden. I improved the software and the value of the $99 Apple TVs went from $200 on the street to more than $750 per unit. For drug dealers, pimps or anyone else, this was way more profitable and less risky. I couldn't build units fast enough and as the cash flowed, the money began to disappear. I eventually removed myself from the business losing around $20K to skimming by 24K.

Right. So anyway, Hoover says he eventually learned that Hickman and a few other accomplices, all of whom are named in the rant and appear to be real people, took all those gross photos of Jerry Jones and planned to use them for blackmail. Hoover lays out the timeline of events like this:

The Story Behind Those Jerry Jones Photos Is Weirder Than The Photos

And that's where Hoover's screed goes totally opaque. From there he just starts rambling about numerology and shit. A sampling:

On 3/14/1992 (Pi Day for the only mathematical constant in the Universe, π ), I began writing a series of short stories and poems about the future, one of which is published in the National Library of Poetry and entitled "The Game". I never really understood what they meant or why I wrote them. I stopped writing in 1993 and they were placed in a Target bag with the words "DO NOT THROW AWAY". I discovered them in the Summer of 2013 buried in a box in my basement in Wichita.

Today, I understand their purpose as a sign from God telling me who I am. On 3/14/2013, 22 years to the day, my odometer hit 98,888 near your building Mr. McCathern. I've taped and shared these videos on Twitter: https://twitter.com/INFIN8SON. The images of you Jerry have never been shared and never will be.

In 2005, I wrote a movie script about a white cowboy named BJJ (B Jerry Jones) and his black nemesis (Kevion). This script, which I will show you when we meet, describes events related to your extortion Jerry. This is the story I recalled on your birthday in 2013 leading me to send this. There are many more signs and information given to me by God which I am happy to share with you.

If you are not a crazy person who knows anything about this story, get in touch with us at tips@deadspin.com

The Sins of Jerry Jones