Cowboys owner Jerry Jones went on 105.3 The Fan in Dallas today, and he was asked about Greg Hardy’s bizarre comments, including ones about Tom Brady Gisele Bündchen. Jones responded by upping the bizarre ante.

CBS DFW did the right thing and put the uncut transcript of Jones’s comments online. Because it’s nearly impossible to pull out specific quotes, yes, but because this is some incredible thought salad. (Thanks to CBS Boston’s Michael Hurley for flagging this.)

WOULD YOU LIKE TO COMMENT ON HARDY’S PRESS CONFERENCE? — “Well, I specifically have commented on it. It’s just where we are and where he is and where we are. Most of comments are going to go the wrong way if they have any element of being positive, of being aggressive, of being the way you want to be as a football player as far as your attitude is concerned. He has that attitude. It’s not just talk. It’s not just in front of a bunch of cameras. That’s what he is. And he is that way. He is very aggressive out there. He is very positive. He is very confident in his ability to make a difference. Where he is and where we are is any time he is there, any time he is a point of discussion, which you guys maybe you were out there. But they probably asked him so many questions. I’ll get so many questions and then I’ll have five or six of them that have nothing to do with what the writer ultimately writes and he has it put on by some colleague of his the other way. So, you never know where it’s coming from. Here’s the deal: is that unless he looks like he’s contrite, unless he looks like he’s just absolutely whipped, and so really obviously sorry for what his situation is, he’s going to get criticized. And we all know that. But he was in a football setting. Those questions that were being asked him. Those people that were asking that question, those were not workplace. We know some things are out of order. We know if an attorney is talking to you or if a sales person is talking to you and they’re the opposite sex. We know some things in today’s society that is behavior that we don’t have today. We know that.

But, now, I can remember when they talk about Richard Burton. And you’d say I don’t know about Richard Burton, but anybody good enough to be married to Elizabeth Taylor has got to be all right. Elizabeth Taylor made her life wanting people to say she was pretty. She made her life. That was her complete life. That was the people she hired to make them when they said ‘Elizabeth Taylor’ to enhance people saying she was pretty and interesting. And, so, when you did talk about Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, you talked about how pretty she was and Elizabeth Taylor. Nobody thought that you were being disrespectful of women or the workplace. Well, Tom just happens to be married to a lady that is just absolutely one of the premier people in the world of working and making people say she is beautiful. Do you agree with me? That’s what they do. They get up in the morning and go to bed at night having people say she’s beautiful. So that a lot of people when they talk about Tom Brady talk about how beautiful she is.”

I...what?

Anyway, it’s probably a good thing that Stephen Jones basically runs this team now.

[CBS DFW]