Alabama starting outside linebacker Tim Williams was arrested early Thursday morning for possessing a firearm without a permit. Were it not for the existence of Williams’s totally real and not-at-all imaginary friend, Brandon Chicken, he might have been hit with a drug charge, too.
Around 1:00 a.m. a pair of police officers were strolling through the Publix parking lot and smelled someone burning some of the devil’s lettuce. The police found Williams and a friend, who isn’t a member of the Crimson Tide football team, sitting in Williams’s Chevrolet Impala. After a search of the vehicle was conducted, the officers turned up one baggie of the dank and one unregistered Glock 41.
The gun was unregistered—Williams believed his receipt of purchase from the Louisiana gun store he purchased it at would do the trick—so the linebacker was charged. The officers also asked him if the weed they found was his, to which he smartly responded it was not.
Is Brandon Chicken real? Maybe! Or maybe Williams was thinking about Publix’s famous chicken sandwiches while covering his ass like a seasoned spy. Whatever the case, we wish the local police department luck in their manhunt for the dreaded Mr. Chicken.