Lions 31, Browns 17: This GIF of wiener dogs is an attempt to soothe sad Browns fans. Forget about Brandon Weeden; just watch these rambunctious puppies run.
Now, to the gory stuff: The Browns blew a 17-7 lead at halftime due to Matthew Stafford's four-touchdown day. Weeden attempted to rally back, but these were not the Bills on a Thursday. Also, Weeden threw two ugly picks.
Yeah, that's why I started with the puppies GIF. Eesh. Oh, watch Ndamukong Suh jump the snap and run over a Browns lineman forever.
Bengals 27, Bills 24: Thad "Replacement QB" Lewis did what he could, but the Bengals pulled away in overtime. Lewis threw for two TDs and ran for one, eventually sending the game into overtime with a 14-point rally in the fourth quarter, but a field goal sent the Bengals home with the win. Check out Giovani Bernard after the catch.
Panthers 35, Vikings 10: The Panthers seem to be incapable of playing back-to-back good games. They'll either destroy their opponent or be astonishingly ineffective. (The last-second loss to the Bills is the outlier.) Fortunately, today was one of those good games for Carolina. Cam Newton threw for three touchdowns and 242 yards, and the Panthers plowed over Minnesota easily.
Steelers 19, Jets 6: Field goal city! Ben Roethlisberger's long pass to Emmanuel Sanders was the only touchdown of the game. Geno Smith threw two picks in an ineffective showing by the Jets offense, and Pittsburgh has its first win of the season.
Chiefs 24, Raiders 7: The Raiders experienced a third and 48 today. Here's the play-by-play of that.
1st and 10 at 50 (Shotgun) T.Pryor pass incomplete short right to R.Streater [J.Houston]. PENALTY on OAK-L.Mady, Offensive Holding, 10 yards, enforced at 50 - No Play.
1st and 20 at OAK 40 T.Pryor sacked at OAK 28 for -12 yards (T.Hali).
2nd and 32 at OAK 28 (Shotgun) PENALTY on OAK-T.Pryor, Delay of Game, 5 yards, enforced at OAK 28 - No Play.
2nd and 37 at OAK 23 (Shotgun) T.Pryor sacked at OAK 12 for -11 yards (E.Berry).
3rd and 48 at OAK 12 (Shotgun) T.Pryor pass incomplete short middle to M.Reece (A.Bailey).
Eagles 31, Buccaneers 20: Nick Foles proved to be a solid replacement for Vick, throwing for three touchdowns and 296 yards, and even rushing for a score! The Tampa Bay MRSAneers are still winless. Darrelle Revis nabbed a fascinating fumble from LeSean McCoy, though.
Packers 19, Ravens 17: The yardage was there—both Aaron Rodgers and Joe Flacco surpassed 300 yards—but the score was surprisingly low. Eddie Lacy created an excellent ground game for Green Bay, rushing for 120 yards. Randall Cobb left the game with an injury, as did James Jones, but Rodgers found Jordy Nelson for this beautiful touchdown.
Rams 38, Texans 13: Good news: Matt Schaub didn't throw an interception in this game. Bad news: He left with an ankle injury, and backup T.J. Yates threw the weekly pick-six. The Rams trampled Houston. Ugly stuff.