19-year-old Jon Denney was drafted by the Boston Red Sox in the third round of last year's amateur draft. He does not appear to be a very smart dude.
According to a police report obtained by Yahoo's Jeff Passan, Denney was stopped by Fort Myers police early Thursday morning for driving erratically. He was cited for driving with a restricted license, at which point he offered a refreshingly honest explanation for why he was out at 2:22 a.m.:
When asked by police why he was in the Fort Myers Beach area, Denney, according to police, replied: "Partying and looking to get some pussy."
No word on whether Denney tried to high-five the cops after explaining himself, but we have to assume that he at least went for a fist bump.
Unfortunately for Denney, his night did not end there. He called a friend to come pick him up, but a few hours later police spotted him getting into his truck and driving it out of a parking lot. When he was pulled over once again, he tried the big-timer routine on the cops:
According to police, Denney said "he was a Boston Red Sox player and he didn't care [sic] he had money and made more money than we would ever see." When handcuffed, the report said, Denney said "he would be out in no time because of who he played for and that he made three million a year."
Never forget that most 19-year-olds are deeply stupid people.