This ain't a hometown columnist, folks. Although it would be frivolous even in that case. Rather, this is wire copy (from Canada's leading newswire, the Canadian Press), an ostensibly evenhanded piece about the series between Vancouver and Boston, supposedly fit for all journalistic outlets in Canada.
Read it and weep, especially if you're a fan of one of the other six Canadian teams.
UNLIKE BRUINS, CANUCKS SAY NO TO UNSUNG HERO AWARD
VANCOUVER — You won't find a hard hat or a shovel in the Vancouver Canucks' dressing room.
Some teams like to hand out awards to unsung heroes after each game in closed-door ceremonies.
But the Canucks choose to pass on such accolades.
"We don't have one," Vancouver defenceman Kevin Bieksa said Friday before Game 5. "We don't need little awards like that. There's enough at stake, enough motivation, for us. So whatever works for them. We have our own things that we do and other teams have their own things that they do."
The Boston Bruins tied the Stanley Cup final with back-to-back wins at home in Games 3 and 4.
The Bruins award a well-worn jacket, which bears a big spiked-B team logo, to the player who, as judged by his teammates, has led by example during a game.
"Don't peewee teams have that?" Bieksa asked mockingly.
Writes TSN commenter touffe, who might as well have written this piece, "If you play like a Canadian, you d'ont need motivation at this time of year. And those same guys would play for free at this time as well. Go Canucks Go."
It's pretty hard to be the more insufferable fan base in a series where the other team is from Boston, but Vancouver might be pulling it off.
UNLIKE BRUINS, CANUCKS SAY NO TO UNSUNG HERO AWARD [TSN.ca, via @NHLBlinn]