Darren Rovell, Theater Major, Is Actually Kind Of Likable 

It has always seemed like Darren Rovell cherished nothing more than farting out press releases to Twitter, writing embarrassing columns, and owning himself while trying and failing to explain economics to people. But no, it appears that Darren has another, perhaps even greater, passion: Musical theater.

Rovell revealed last night that he used to be a theater major (a fact which goes a long way in explaining why he plays basketball like this) and that he allegedly gave up a career on Broadway to be a sportswriter. This is a shame because he is definitely better at the whole dramatically-staring-into-the-distance-while-belting-out-a-Beauty-and-the-Beast-song thing than he is at understanding either sports or business.

But don’t take it from me, check it out for yourself! And if you don’t feel up to watching all four (!!) minutes of his performance, I’ll direct your attention to 2:10, when he switches up his tone to what I can only imagine a director would call “growling intensity”—it’s not bad! And then skip ahead to 2:36 where he grimaces silently for a solid 15 seconds during a musical interlude—that’s the stuff. The final flourish at the end, when he’s either collapsing into his final pose or is limply dabbing, is worth your time as well.

Look, we make fun of Darren Rovell a lot at this site—scroll through our extremely well-populated “Darren Rovell” tag and you’ll understand why—but this is truly the most likable he’s ever been, probably because it’s a glimpse of what his life might look like if he weren’t a relentless brand robot. Maybe it’s not too late for Darren to pursue his true calling on the stage and leave the reporting to less talented vocalists.

Rovell hinted on Twitter that he might post more videos of himself singing show tunes, to which I say: Don’t Cry For Me, Argentina. In fact, the only part of the video that wasn’t good was the fact that the audio kept getting all garbled and staticky when he hit his big notes. It seems like the studio company responsible for recording it—and who Rovell couldn’t help but plug—didn’t actually do a good job.