Darren Rovell Plays Basketball Like A Tortured Soul Who Writes About Sports Business

ESPN sports business reporter and press-release dumpster Darren Rovell plays D like he has suddenly been stricken with scoliosis. This was true in 2016 when he flailed and yelled at Kristaps Porzingis, and it was still true this weekend when he took on AND1 Mixtape star Philip “Hot Sauce” Champion at a Hawks game.

Hot Sauce has worked many an opponent, and it was clear Rovell was not ready when he allowed for this much separation between the ball handler:

Rovell was so bad that Hot Sauce actually had trouble pulling his first move. Despite that twist, the video still ends with Rovell sitting on the court.

Darren would be so embarrassed right now if he were capable of feeling shame.