Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

Dead Letters: "You Are A Bruins Dan"

Photo: Hulton Archive (Getty)
Dead LettersWelcome to Dead Letters, the feature in which we reprint our favorite reader mail. We should take this moment to remind you that all emails to Deadspin and its editors and writers are on the record unless otherwise specified. Now for your letters.

Subject: Seems a bit harsh

From: Henry Thornton
To: Samer Kalaf, tips

Samer and the Deadspins,

This headline of this article is pretty clearly crossing the line. I mean if this shit was written by Muhammed Ali or Mike Tyson or someone like that it would be an absolutely amazing story/headline. But alas it was not written by Muhhamed Ali or Mike Tyson or someone like that.

Athletes perform to entertain us. I guess this boxer dissapointed you or something and that sucks I guess. But to even watch a sporting event of any kind means that you chose to do that out of every other activity on the face of the Earth. So maybe have an attitude of gratitude?

This point could have easily been expressed in a way more chill way while still saying everything you wanted to say.

At least you all have toned down with the ebonic filled headlines. That was cringe fo sho.

From: Albert Burneko
To: Henry Thornton, Samer, tips

Hey Henry, somebody has been sending stupid emails from your address. Hackers maybe?

From: Henry Thornton
To: Albert Burneko, Samer, tips

Albert,

First off thank you for the heads up.

Um I need more info please. This could be bad.

For the record I have sent you guys emails criticizing like (I think) three of your articles:

1) boxer is fraud
2) Barry Bonds is space alien
3) Giants dumb for honoring Vogey

There could be like one or more topic I discussed via email but thats about it.

Please let me know what is going on. Maybe forward me the emails I guess? I have noticed some serious email issues on my own independent of this (like a lot of people never receiving emails I send).

Keep up the good work because ESPN is dumb most of the time!!!

From: Henry Thornton
To: Albert Burneko, Samer, tips

Ok Albert

I wasnt talking to you. But yeah my friend I just read your email so I get that you were making fun of my email. That is pretty funny I am guaranteed to use that one in the future.

My point still stands.

From: Henry Thornton
To: Albert Burneko, Samer, tips

Hey Albert

I just want to let you know that you look pretty weak/paranoid talking smack to one of your loyal readers while they are in the process of making, what I believe to be, a legitimate criticism.

Because you inserted yourself in a conversation that didn’t involve you I assume you are fairly important in the world of Deadspin like the editor or something. So I would just say like be proud of being an important person in the world of journalism and maybe don’t be so sensitive.

Your friend,

Henry Thornton

Subject: [no subject]

From: Paul Debaggis
To: Lauren Theisen

Yankees win,remember it well,you are an obvious communist

Subject: NY Yankees

From: E S
To: Lauren Theisen

After reading your article on the recent Yankee/ Toronto game I’ve come to the conclusion that you’re an imbecile and an asshole. Have a horrible day.

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Subject: Your Yankee Hatred

From: Roget Hart
To: Lauren Theisen

Dear Lauren,

I don’t appreciate your description of the New York Yankees. Do you even know anything about baseball???? If you did, you would know that if it weren’t for the Yankees, New York wouldn’t have baseball team. The New York Mets are a joke, as they are a cheap, inept organization who don’t give a damn about their fans. The

Mets have won only two World Series in the 56 years of their dreadful existence. They never put a winning team on the field and laugh all the way to the bank with their fans hard earned money that they foolishly throw away every year hoping to see a winning team. They are a disgrace to the great city of New York, and their fans are just as bad for not boycotting them until they show they are serious about winning.

The Yankees are a team of pride and excellence, from the likes of Babe Ruth to Joe Dimaggio, to Mickey Mantle, Yogi Berra and Mariano Rivera (the ONLY player in baseball history to be elected unanimously to baseball’s Hall of Fame).

The Mets are a complete failure to New York and their fans, and are known to have players the likes of cocaine users Daryl Strawberry and Dwight Goodin and a degenerate like Lenny Dykstra, as well as an owner (Fred Wilpon) who was a good friend of Bernie Madoff, who defrauded many people out of their fortunes.

So you should think twice before trash talking the Yankees, because if ANY team is worthy of such talk it’s The Mets, NOT the Yankees.

Sincerely,
Roger Hart

Sent from BlueMail

Subject: wow your still the worst sports writer in history. glad deadspin still let’s fucking no talent losers like yourself who pretend to know anything about sports are allowed to spew their biased opinions. only reason you get any views are your stupid fucking clickbait titles. try writing a real article like a real writer would instead of this shit you spew everytime you try and write anything.

From: dolphlundgren420
To: Lauren Theisen

Sent from my Verizon, Samsung Galaxy smartphone

Subject: The boy who cried Racist

From: Jason Joyner
To: Samer Kalaf

We all stop listening when u water the meaning down....you stone cold loser!!
God bless you

Sent from my Verizon, Samsung Galaxy smartphone

Subject: Congratulations!

From: jabs69
To: Chris Thompson

Your latest headline is the absolute rock bottom for you millennial, non-athletic dweebs who “write” for the sports sewer known as Deadspin.

Andrew McCloskey

Subject: Mike Francesa weather an travel

From: johndicarlo123
To: Chris Thompson

Although Mike is not at all entertaining like he was in the past. The main reason being he’s so cruel to the callers. They were not always his enemy they seem to be now.

Anyway he is correct about the weather and the travel companies. I may not be able to listen to Mike anymore because his show has become so bad. However he’s right about the weather and travel.

John

Sent via the Samsung Galaxy S7, an AT&T 4G LTE smartphone

Subject: Boston sports

From: Alex Damato
To: Chris Thompson

Hey the bruins and the rest of Boston sports reside so far deeply in your head that we live rent free. Can’t wait for deadspin to go out of business. Pure bliss.

Sent from my iPhone

Subject: [no subject]

From: Anthony Gentile
To: Tom Ley

Who the hell do you think you are? You’re nothing but a two-bit writer for a two-bit publication. Steve blass knows more about baseball then you will ever know. Please do a solid favor and go do something which is anatomically impossible

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Subject: [no subject]

From: Darryl Foster
To: Tom Ley

Why condemn a man for pursuing his dreams and having morals. Make you feel inferior? Your Tebow article says more about you than him.

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Subject: Donald Trump

From: Franco Perri
To: Albert Burneko

Unfortunately,I think you are the idiot,how can you talk about your president like that.Don’t you realize that by insulting him ,you are also insulting your great nation.Thank God you’re not in Russia or Turkey you would be working in a mine.

From: Franco Perri
To: Albert Burneko

Just wanted to make sure you got my email ,you idiot

Sent from my iPhone

Begin forwarded message:

Subject: Color Guard

From: Clinton Wooldridge
To: Barry Petchesky

One word, grasping.

Ridiculous.

Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

Subject: [no subject]

From: Dan Brooks
To: Albert Burneko

tubby 2 shoes atheist

From: Dan Brooks
To: Albert Burneko

kill yourself. I’ve worked on projects I’ve signed nondisclosure agreements promising never to discuss anything I worked on. aliens are real fatty lol I’ve seen them with my own two eyes. I’ve seen their ships. lol so stfu and quit whining tubby.

From: Dan Brooks
To: Albert Burneko

there are high quality videos of aliens, their space craft and all manner of fucked up things. you’re just not allowed near any of it fatty

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Subject: UFO’s

From: Greg McLemen
To: Albert Burneko

You couldn’t kick my 5 year old sisters ass. You’re just another punk ass writer. News Flash! The majority voted for Trump so you are the minority. THE THE FUCK UP YOU WORTHLESS LIBERAL!

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Subject: UFOs

From: Ryan Sullivan
To: Albert Burneko

Lol. Your huge healthy muscles can probably rip the top off a car, and a big car at that. Haha lmfao. Don’t believe aliens are superior and WALK AMONG US?? You’re pretty smart! And you seem to have a nice life! I hope everything you thoughtfully strive for ends up providing MEANING and SUBSTANCE to the existence you’ve skillfully carved out for you and the ones you love! I have seen the lips of the aliens and from those lips the only thing I hear is that YOU are DOING FINE! I hope you’re well hydrated and not stressed out you piece of SHIT!

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Subject: Alien life

From: Ryan Rebro
To: Albert Burneko

Just o let you know ,aliens are real there so much you dont know theyre acualy helping us They are here on our planet , I know for the fact because I acualy saw them you can believe what you want but until you have an encounter like I have it will change your life forever they are not here to take over our planet .they want us to be as one and live in peace and warn us of our own destruction what we’re doing to our planet and ourselves.As humans go we just dont get it So sad Sent from my iPad

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Subject: You are mistaken

From: Dino
To: Albert Burneko

Sir,
I have had sightings all of my life.
I am 57 years old .
I have a140 iq.
Your statements indicate fear.
You are afraid.
However , this message is not to insult you as you just have your readers.
This message is to let you know that it’s ok to be afraid , many are.
You are what I consider part of the hand holder
Community.
Yes, someone will hopefully be there to hold your hands while you sweat through the reality that your selfish , arrogant, foolish self is not alone .
Wake up.....

Dino Simone.

Subject: You want an alien exclusive?

From: lovebeast444 #2
To: Albert Burneko

444k cash inn the driveway I’ll make one appear when ever where ever..... they will not get out though.... That’s more money.... All big bills please nothing smaller then 20's please.... money will be accepted once in get it to hover ..... 555k for an exclusive interviews..... 222k ill make an earthquake happen anywhere youlike within 3 minute mark..... Will make a meteor appear within 1:11 hour window of a time of your choosing over any part of the contentintal United states.....

Put your money where your mouth is, I’ll make your wildest dreams come true..... also anal probes are for earth girls only.... sorry no dudes..... or fat chicks.....

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Subject: Inappropriate

From: Joe
To: tips@deadspin.com

Hello,

I was just on your website and see this article. Someone should be fired for this. I can not believe someone approved this.

[https;//deadspin.com/the-warriors-should-have-been-fucked-1835200218]

Joseph P. McGrath Jr

Subject: [no subject]

From: Mike Brown
To: Barry Petchesky

It is easy to see, that you are just like the NBC broadcasters, you are a Bruins Dan.

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