We continue our year-by-year look back at the decade with the year 2006, back when Kurt Cobain was rising up the pop charts, back when James Cameron was dramatically overbudget on a little movie called The Abyss. Simple times.
Hamas wins elections. Jazz owner Larry Miller pulls Brokeback Mountain from his Utah theater chain when he realizes it's about a gay romance. Coach Janky Spanky makes his triumphant debut. LeBron James' mother is arrested for a DUI and maced. Samuel Alito is confirmed as a Supreme Court justice. Ariel Sharon suffers a massive stroke. Kobe Bryant scores 81 points in a game. Coretta Scott King and Chris Penn die. "ESPN Hollywood" is canceled. Isiah Thomas is sued for sexual harassment. Vince Young and Texas beat USC to win the mythical college football national championship. Sen. Barack Obama tells Tim Russert on "Meet The Press" that he will not run for President in 2008. The Black Table closes up shop.
Dick Cheney shoots his friend in the face. The one billionth song is downloaded on iTunes. (It's a Coldplay song.) Johnny Weir is the one interesting person in the Winter Olympics. Betty Friedan, Curt Gowdy and Don Knotts die. The Steelers beat the Seahawks in the Super Bowl. Al Michaels is traded to NBC for Oswald the Lucky Rabbit. A Denmark newspaper runs a cartoon of Muhammad, sparking violent protests. Big Ben drinks like a champion.
Bud Selig commissions The Mitchell Report. Kirby Puckett dies. Adam Morrison cries. "Top Chef" and "Big Love" debut. "Arrested Development" is canceled. Crash wins Best Picture. "Game Of Shadows" hits the stands. An exotic dancer accuses members of the Duke lacrosse team with rape. Jack Abramoff is sentenced. Japan wins the World Baseball Classic. George Mason beats Connecticut to reach the Final Four.
Tom DeLay steps down as House majority leader. Suri Cruise is born. Florida beats UCLA to win the NCAA tournament. The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals draft Matt Leinart. Stephen Colbert skewers President Bush at the White House Correspondents Dinner. Former Illinois Gov. George Ryan is found guilty of racketeering. "You're With Me, Leather" is unleashed.
"The Hills" debuts. Paul McCartney and Heather Mills separate. Barry Bonds passes Babe Ruth on the all-time home run chart. Tiger Woods' father dies, as do Ironhead Heyward and the last Titanic survivor. Barbaro wins the Kentucky Derby but suffers a broken leg at the Preakness. People send emails to Barbaro. Taylor Hicks wins American Idol. Enron executives are convicted. Katie Couric leaves the "Today" show. Carl Monday pesters Mike Cooper. David Blaine attempts to break the world record for holding his breath, but gives up at the seven minute mark. Stuart Scott hosts the proceedings. Henry Paulson is nominated as Secretary of the Treasury. Rick Sutcliffe commends George Clooney for solving that thing.
The World Cup begins. The Miami Heat beat the Dallas Mavericks to win the NBA title. Ben Roethlisberger crashes his motorcycle. Abu Musab al-Zarqaqi is killed. The Carolina Hurricanes win the Stanley Cup. Phil Mickelson blows a lead in the US Open. Bill Gates steps down as Microsoft chairman. JJ Redick is arrested for drunk driving. The Senate rejects a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage by a 49-48 vote. Ozzie Guillen calls Jay Mariotti a "fag."
Floyd Landis flunks a drug test. OK Go's "Here It Goes Again" video goes "viral." Italy wins the World Cup, and Zidane headbutts someone whose name you don't remember. Ken Lay dies. Northwestern football coach Randy Walker dies of a heart attack. Harold Reynolds is fired by ESPN for "inappropriate behavior." Seven train explosions kill 186 people in Mumbai. Mel Gibson is arrested for drunk driving and makes several anti-Semetic remarks.
Pluto is demoted. Bruno Kirby dies. Tony Kornheiser debuts on "Monday Night Football." The FDA approves the morning-after pill. Spinach starts killing people. Chuck Klosterman's "Chuck Klosterman IV" is released. John Mark Karr confesses to murdering JonBenet Ramsey but is lying. Scott Van Pelt courts a lady.
Jason Whitlock is fired by ESPN after an interview with The Big Lead. Steve Irwin is stabbed in the heart by a stingray. Tony Blair announces he will resign. Terrell Owens maybe tries to commit suicide. Katie Couric takes over the "CBS Evening News." Borat explodes at the Toronto Film Festival. Mark Foley quits the House after sexting male Congressional aides. "Fear Factor" goes off the air.
President Bush admits the Iraq war is "not going well." Red Auerbach and Buck O'Neil die. "30 Rock" and "Friday Night Lights" premiere. Google buys YouTube. ESPN tells its radio affiliates to ignore "underground" websites. The U.S. population reaches 300 million. Cory Lidle crashes his plane into a Manhattan high rise. Harold Reynolds sues ESPN. The St. Louis Cardinals win the World Series, and it is fricking awesome.
Michael Irvin says Tony Romo must have had a great, great, great, great Grandma who "pulled one of them studs up outta the barn." Ted Haggard resigns as leader of the New Life Church after admitting to "sexual immorality" and buying crystal meth. Saddam Hussein is found guilty. Robert Altman, Bo Schembechler and Jack Palance die. Democrats take over Congress and Nancy Pelosi becomes the first female Speaker of the House. The Nintendo Wii is released. Alexander Litvinenko is poisoned. "You're With Me, Leather" shows up on the television show "Las Vegas." To this day, no one has claimed credit.
Saddam Hussein is executed. Gerald Ford, James Brown, Lamar Hunt and Peter Boyle die. Bob Knight ties Dean Smith for most wins in college basketball. Hugo Chavez is re-elected. The American death toll in Iraq reaches 3,000. The Red Sox outbid the Yankees for Dice-K. Robert Gates takes over as Secretary of Defense. Tiger Woods and his wife Elin announce they are expecting their first child.