Big Brown Wins Preakness, Thinks, "Boy, I Am Hungry"

Look. This is Big Brown. This is a horse. We suppose Big Brown is a good-looking, as far as horses go, though we're not sure, from this angle, if we could possibly tell the difference between Big Brown and any other horse on the planet that wasn't, you know, a zebra.

Regardless, this horse is going to be the focus of the sporting world for the next three weeks — God, please spare us another ridiculous ESPN Magazine cover — after winning the Preakness Stakes on Saturday. We find it difficult to become too inspired by a horse who, within minutes of winning the Kentucky Derby, already had an endorsement deal with UPS. Well, OK, the horse still doesn't have any idea what's going on and is mostly curious about where the oats are. But still.

Anyway, Big Brown seems to have a better-than-average chance to win the Triple Crown. If you are interested in this, bully for you; you have a more alert understanding of what's going on than Big Brown does. If you're like us, you're not, and far more absorbed by the gallantry and pageantry of the Preakness.

Oh Maryland, our Maryland ....