LeBron James isn’t retiring

Going to get this in writing real quick just so I can do the sports media thing in a couple of months and say I told you so: LeBron James isn’t retiring. The guy had 40, 10, and 9 in a closeout game, and the Los Angeles Lakers were a second scorer away from the NBA Finals. This is simply a little motivation for the front office to pour a little more dark magic, and a lot more money, into the trade machine. I don’t know who Rob Pelinka will blackmail to do it, but he’ll land someone, and Stephen A. Smith will melt on the set of First Take.

LeBron’s entire marketing campaign this year was him versus Father Time. At one point in Game 4 Jamal Murray got him on a switch, and James locked him the fuck up. We all know he can still play, and he’s going to keep playing because Michael Jordan and his fans have given James an inferiority complex.

The only reason I’m writing this is because I know it will do traffic, and that’s the only thing that matters to advertisers. Oh, piece of Lakers content. Oh, piece of LeBron content. Oh, piece of “He said retirement?” content.

This is the first time that I can remember James publicly mulling retirement, and he’s been a member of the AARP for long enough to justify whatever you think this is. Whether it’s a petty plea for attention, or legit, I don’t really care because I stopped letting things like this bother me. Carmelo Anthony just called it a career, Chirs Paul is in the process of embalming, and LeBron has to be pondering how ornate he wants his sarcophagus. (My guess is Pyramid of Giza, which is why he’s not retiring.)

Everyone can control how they react, and if you want to question reality, grovel, pontificate, debate, etc. feel free. I’m not going to do that because Bronny is a year away from being an undrafted free agent, and the Lakers were just in the Western Conference Finals. Anthony Davis was playing so well that I was three seconds from jumping headfirst into Big Sur.

Honestly, I don’t even think I’ll get much credit for being right on this. It’s more of a non-story than the couple of instances where Aaron Rodgers teased life after relevance.

So consume all of the Lakers/LeBron/what’s next podcasts that you’d like. It’s a free country for another 18 months, and if you want to spend the last precious moments of unregulated American air begging the King to continue his reign, you won’t be the only one.