Michigan State paid $95M for a 3-5 team, but the ‘scuffle’ was free of charge

Before I get to the rest of this post, I’m just going to give you what you came here to see because you’re going to scroll down the video regardless of what’s penned before or after it. So, here you go, ya hyenas. Here’s the clip of a group of Michigan State players more or less jumping two lone Wolverines after Sparty got jumped in the Big House, 29-7.

During his postgame news conference, UM coach Jim Harbaugh called it an “assault,” and said AD Warde Manuel is handling the “scuffle” with authorities. My reaction to Harbaugh classifying two of his players trying to take on 17 pissed off Spartans — and failing — as an “assault” is to try not to shrug it off.

This is the same coach who got into a “scuffle” with Jim Schwartz after a San Francisco 49ers-Detroit Lions matchup when the two were NFL skippers more than a decade ago. The current Michigan coach also characterized his quarterback battle decision earlier this year as “biblical,” so there’s a certain amount of hypocrisy and hyperbole at play here.

However, that’s about where my defense of Michigan State ends.

I’d like to remind you that Mel Tucker, the man in charge of MSU football, is two games over .500 for his career (21-19) and received a 10-year, $95 million, fully guaranteed contract during the offseason. I’m not mad about anybody getting a massive payday they didn’t deserve, and even less so for a Black head football coach. And seeing that Michigan State was 11-2 a season ago, and LSU was looming over East Lansing in search of a new head man, this was the only move the university could make to retain Tucker.

Or, you know, was it really? Over the past six weeks, Tucker’s team has been outscored 206-109, and that’s including a win over Wisconsin. Aside from his standout year in 2021, he’s 10-17. The guy deserted Colorado after one season to go to the Big Ten, and the threat of him leaving for a better job like a mercenary switching sides for double what the current employer is paying was so pervasive that a huge contract might as well have been an ultimatum.

Tucker isn’t the only coach who’s flirtations have forced egregious extensions from athletic directors. Jimbo Fisher was gifted with a hefty bag for the same reason as Tucker. Texas A&M also lost again Saturday, and the Aggies have the same record (3-5) as the Spartans in 2022. Both fanbases are fucking irate over the losing but more so because of the bleak, incurable future that can’t be changed due to funny money buyouts.

Think about it like this: Had either AD at A&M or MSU called the bluffs of their coaches’ agents, Fisher or Tucker would be the problem of Bayou Bengals’ supporters. If at any point you say to yourself, “Am I crazy to spend this much money on a X?” don’t spend that much money on X. If something goes wrong — like, I don’t know, your team stomping out a couple opponents in the tunnel after they themselves got pistol-whipped for hours — it looks even worse because you paid a fuck ton for it.

The Astros were able to hold onto a 5-0 lead Saturday, and mostly because starting pitcher Framber Valdez had his curveball on a string, striking out nine and surrendering one run in 6.1 innings. Of course, since this is Houston we’re talking about, the win was not without accusations of cheating.

Philadelphia manager Rob Thomson downplayed Twitter’s investigation, crediting the ’Stros for their 5-2 win, and moving onto Game 3 in Philly on Monday — like the rest of baseball fans should.