Minor league baseball is a land of bizarre promotions; from speed dating night to toilet seat night, farm clubs will always go the extra absurd mile to keep up the enthusiasm—and this can be excused, when the on-field entertainment consists of just-passing-throughs and never-will-bes.
This is not that.
Dodgers Rookie League club Ogden Raptors announced earlier this week an upcoming “Hourglass Appreciation Night,” and it gets worse after the name:
The home team hosts the Billings Mustangs, but the real thoroughbreds will join Raptors broadcaster A.P. Harreld in the booth. Since August is the eighth month of the calendar year, and an 8 looks tantalizingly similar to an hourglass, be there a better way to remind the world that baseball needs no clock than to feature 18 hourglass-shaped color commentators?
That’s right! Stars Talent Studio of Salt Lake City will provide a different stunner each half-inning. And the Raptors will video-stream the broadcast booth - well, at least the better-looking half of it!
Fans will have the opportunity to pose for pictures with the lovely ladies as we showcase seriously splendid visual appeal: Utah’s legendary mountains, Dodgers and Reds farmhands - and gorgeous women whose curves rival those of any stud pitching prospect!
It’s not just the language that’s problematic here (although, “thoroughbreds,” really?), it’s the whole lascivious, retrograde concept. I don’t wonder how they let this go to print, I wonder how people who think this is a fun or funny gimmick haven’t been disabused of this notion or fired from their cushy jobs (and then I stop wondering). This isn’t pink hats or condescending tutorials on fundamentals, this is implausibly bad, almost intentionally bad, borderline bait-Deadspin-into-outraged-coverage bad. But then again, it’s also, somehow, totally typical.
Update (June 6, 3:11 p.m. EST): The Raptors President Dave Baggott issued the following statement:
The Ogden Raptors regret that an unauthorized press release was disseminated over the weekend announcing a promotion that was not approved or scheduled by club ownership or management. This promotion will not take place and steps have been put in place to ensure this will not happen again. The Ogden Raptors offer a sincere apology to anyone who was offended by the promotion itself and the contents of the press release, and in no way supports or condones the objectification of women. It is not reflective of the values of the Ogden Raptors, Los Angeles Dodgers organization, the Pioneer Baseball League or Minor League Baseball.