These are Derek Carr's post-Raiders options

On the roster currently are Andy Dalton (pictured with Carr) and Jameis Winston. That doesn’t exactly breed confidence for a quarterback. In the post-Drew Brees days in The Big Easy, Carr could be the stabilizing force to not mess anything up while the talented players around him do the dirty work. An in-form Alvin Kamara and Michael Thomas, as well as a usually solid Saints defense, could make Carr’s next stay easier than the turbulent play from Oakland.

The AFC representative of The Big Apple, or East Rutherford, New Jersey, will have a new quarterback in 2023 after the two-year Zach Wilson experiment went as well as him stopping rumors of sleeping with his mom’s best friend. Mike White won’t be the long-term answer and the Jets trying to court Aaron Rodgers is the biggest hiding-in-plain-sight situation in the NFL after they hired Nathaniel Hackett as their new offensive coordinator. If landing Rodgers is a swing and a miss, Carr wouldn’t be a bad consolation, minus the darkness retreat.

What better way to replace the most prolific quarterback of all time (pictured with Carr) than with a veteran looking to win one Super Bowl?

I mean, I guess there are plenty of better ways, but it’s better than Blaine Gabbert.

The NFC South also might be the easiest division to win in football, as opposed to the AFC West, where the Kansas City Chiefs and Los Angeles Chargers will be solid for several more years.

Carr would be a bigger fish in a smaller pond in Tampa.

This would be a risky move for both sides, pending Sam Howell (pictured) not being given the throne as steadily as everyone may think. Howell looked impressive against a second-string Cowboys’ defense in Week 18. While that doesn’t mean nothing, having him produce on a high level in meaningful games is something else. And being more productive than Carson Wentz and Taylor Heinicke isn’t exactly the ideal threshold. Carr could be viewed as another step up while the permanent savior is on its way.

The Matt Ryan (pictured, left) experiment didn’t work and there has been chatter of Indy moving up in the draft to try and get Bryce Young or C.J. Stroud. (They could draft Will Levis at No. 4 if Young and Stroud are off the board). With plenty of teams vying for who are the clear top-two quarterbacks in this year’s NFL Draft, the Colts could look for a veteran option that’s younger than Ryan. With one of the best running backs in the NFL in Jonathan Taylor, and an easier division to win, the Colts could try and rebuild all-around and settle for Carr.

Somehow without the top pick in the NFL Draft, the Texans could just bide their time and select a QB at No. 2, but they have so many problems to where addressing another need, and taking Alabama linebacker Will Anderson, isn’t out of the question. Signing Carr would be an interesting move for the franchise, considering Derek’s older brother, David Carr, was the first overall pick in the 2002 NFL Draft and the first draft selection in franchise history. Call me crazy, but this could work.

Yup, Carr turns heel and moves to the XFL to become the biggest star of their league instead of being just another NFL quarterback. The upstart revival needs a big star and Carr would be the ratings draw they don’t currently have. There isn’t one XFL player that wouldn’t rather be in the NFL right now. So what if we use the path of most resistance and Carr proves his worth by torching XFL defenses? (Pictured is the BattleHawks’ QB, former NFL journeyman A.J. McCarron).

If going to a top domestic league would be the hold-up for Carr going to the XFL, let’s go north. The Canadian Football League has a lot of talented players and benefits quarterbacks thanks to larger fields. Carr being the best thing to come out of the CFL since Roman Reigns would easily be a path for him. Yeah, he’d likely have to take a hit to his paycheck, but it’d be a small interruption to a larger plan.

If Carr doesn’t find the right on-field fit, he’ll get into the analyst game. And as part of trying to keep its conference together, the Pac-12 signs up Carr to do commentary on games. And it’s a way to court Fresno State to the league. Carr wants to be the face of a franchise and if that opportunity doesn’t exist in 2023, he may hold out and pull a Sean Payton. He’ll wait a year in hopes that an NFL realizes what he could’ve brought to their team.

OK. I know a reconciliation isn’t likely, but Carr biting the bullet to find playing time with a team he’s already comfortable with isn’t the worst idea in the world. We’ve seen weirder reunions, like Cam Newton with the Panthers. With Davante Adams, he’s already got a top-5 wide receiver. Josh Jacobs is a running back on the rise. Now if only Las Vegas had a defense and an offensive line to keep the pressure off of Carr.

Anthony Davis is the TruTV hit’s special guest on Thursday and it’s in the middle of their first full season with three leads after several seasons with four. As the show rotates special guests, Carr could easily find his way onto the small screen in a different fashion and try to embarrass his new-found friends while also being tasked to do dumb shit. There are plenty of worse uses of his time.

When waiting for your big break or in between jobs, it’s the classic move to wait tables. And I just chose the Los Angeles-area restaurant that sounded the coolest to me. Playa Provisions is owned by Top Chef winner Brooke Williamson and I’m sure they’d love to have someone with the acumen of Carr join their staff. I’m not sure he has any culinary training, but he clearly can learn quickly as a quarterback. Food can’t be that different.

What works for Aaron Rodgers must yield results for others, right? Probably not. Next.

What if he just calls it quits and pursues other passions in life? He could do several things on this list if he’s done with football. What if Carr wants to be a waiter, color commentator, host, and an Impractical Joker all in one? Jesse Palmer does something like that with The Bachelor and his college football responsibilities on ESPN.

We’re waiting on Kevin Feige to announce the casting of the MCU’s Fantastic Four. Instead of the rumored people like Penn Badgley, Adam Driver, John Krasinski, or Rami Malek playing the group’s leader, Reed Richards, let Derek Carr do it! If Harry Styles has a place in the MCU, why can’t Carr? That would definitely be weird casting for such a huge role, but Marvel Studios has rarely gotten big decisions incorrect.

Hi Derek. If you’ve clicked all the way through my wonderful slideshow and are seeing this, here’s an invitation to write with us and become my colleague. We’ll treat you better than the Raiders. And you don’t get that much CTE typing to your heart’s content. Have your people call our people.