Nothing To See Here, Please Disperse...Or Is There?

Still spooked by the scary ramifications of uncovering an embarrassing scandal, the IOC said it had officially completed its age investigation of the Chinese gymnastics team. The verdict: totally legit.

“We believe the matter will be put to rest and there’s no question … on the eligibility,” [IOC spokeswoman] Giselle Davies said. “The information we have received seems satisfactory in terms of the correct documentation—including birth certificates.”

Really. Hmm. Of course many parents of the Chinese gymnasts are "indignant" about the suggestion that their kids are not as old as typed on (some of) the special government issued pieces of paper they have in their possession. The coach of China's team, Lu Shanzan, is also a little annoyed by the nosiness. He can't see what the problem is. Doesn't everybody know that Asian people are traditionally tiny?

"At this competition, the Japanese gymnasts were just as small as the Chinese,” he said. “Chinese competitors have for years all been small. It is not just this time. It is a question of race. European and American athletes are all powerful, very robust. But Chinese athletes cannot be like that. They are by nature that small.”

The documents presented to the IOC on Thursday night — which included a passport issued by the Chinese Foreign Ministry and an identity card stamped by China’s Ministry of Public Security — were enough evidence for the IOC to back off. Never mind those "other" papers floating around.

“If you trust every Web site but not a government…,” he [Lanzan] said. “There are so many Web sites, so much hearsay. These are not official. It is possible that all news on the Internet is accurate?”

Lanzan, frothing at the mouth by now, then told the AP that this whole investigation " really pisses the shit out of him." But! Then later this morning...it's being reported that the investigation is indeed back on. Late Friday night the International Gymnastics Federation (FIG!) giving the once over to some of these "documents" China's pumping out. However, don't rejoice too much about the possibility of adding gold to our country's significant "total medal c—t" just yet for this investigation could very well be over by the time this story is posted. China's age controversy continues with request for still more documents [USA Today] Just Stop Watching The Olympics Now [Fan IQ] IOC's Gymnastic Probe Falls Well Short [Yahoo] Gymnasts parents indignant over age question [Yahoo]