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Ask yourself this: Would you sacrifice 1/17th of your yearly salary in return for one full day of irresponsible drunken sex with on a cruise ship, with the finest multiple partners that money can buy? If you answered yes, congratulations: You can hang with Fred Smoot.

That's essentially what he and Bryant McKinnie did. The NFL finally went came down on Smoot and McKinnie yesterday for their role in the Lake Minnetonka sex boat scandal. Each of them were fined one game check, which equates to 1/17th of their yearly salary. For Smoot, it was $82,352, and for McKinnie, it was $41,176. Here's Smoot's reaction:

"That is over with. I don't know why people bring it up. They finally fined us. That's so much last year. What are you still talking about it?"

Why? Because you shoved the business ends of a double-donger into the hoo-hoo-dillies of two prostitutes, that's why. Am I not supposed to be amused by that? Come on, Fred, let's be real here. If you don't want me to be amused when you shove the business ends of a double-donger into the hoo-hoo-dillies of two prostitutes, then maybe you should, I dunno... do it at home?

That does not happen every day, Fred Smoot, and I'm not ashamed to admit that those kinds of things help to make my life worth living. If I was fined $1 for every time I smiled or laughed because of your naughty nautical misadventures, my fine would probably be bigger than $82,352.

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Smoot, McKinnie fined in `Love Boat' incident [KRT Wire]