a Page 7611 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Watch A Three-Year-Old's Heart Break Because His Favorite Texas Ranger May Get Traded
The young man in this video is apparently a big fan of Texas Rangers third-baseman Michael Young, who is likely about to be traded because — overly simplified — he doesn't get along very well with general manager Jon Daniels....
Connecticut Man Ordered To Publicly Apologize To Whale Mascot
Kevin O'Connell got drunk and went to the Connecticut Whale minor-league hockey game on Jan. 28. When he got there, he tackled and punched team mascot Pucky the Whale, who was greeting child fans. In court a few days later, he said he did so because of a bet....
The Cleveland Cavaliers Are On A One-Game Winning Streak
Your morning roundup for Feb. 12, the day Mars-commute impregnating became a non-starter in the name of continuing the colony....
The Week In Review
The Somewhat Romantic Story Of Mark Sanchez And A 17-Year-Old Girl | This is a story about a famous quarterback's courtship of a 17-year-old girl and the girl's conflicting emotions about fame. No one committed any crimes, as far as we know. It's perfectly legal for the New York Jets' Mark Sanchez t...
Chris Paul Verbally Abused A Ref For Not Taking This Flop Seriously Enough
At the end of a close game against the Nets on Wednesday night, noted flopper Chris Paul turned the ball over with 19 seconds to go and the Hornets down by two. In overtime, he missed the potential game-winner and added a spectacular flop for good measure. Finally, he "verbally abused" an official...
You Will Believe A Man (On Skis) Can Fly
Did you know "ski flying" is a thing? Well, this guy did it farther than anyone else, sailing more than 800 feet on nothing more than a giant new slope, state-of-the-art equipment...and a dream....
Future Of French Open Site Spurs Most Pretentious Debate Ever
On Sunday, the 180 delegates of the French Tennis Federation will meet to decide the future of Roland Garros Stadium, which could change locations by 2016. This has fueled a wonderfully pretentious debate on the merits of the two possible outcomes: shall the century-old tournoi remain in posh wester...
The Lawyer Suing The NFL Over Super Bowl Seats Thinks $5 Million Probably Isn't Enough
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: people don't want another Super Bowl trip. They want cash money....
The Time Zito Gave Mulder A Handjob, And Other Tales From The World Of Baseball Slash Fiction
Some lucky folks have especially vivid imaginations. But the rest of us need the internet to find Jaret Wright tenderly licking Melky Cabrera, or Kyle Farnsworth and Vance Wilson in bed together with knives....
Annoying Boston Person Heckles Lakers From Dorm Window
The Lakers held their practice in the gym at Emerson College. As they boarded the team bus, this shining example of America's future made sure to let them know exactly how he feels about them. Warning: Boston accent ahoy....
A Man You Want To See Punched In The Face Instantly Gets Punched In The Face
British fighter Usman Ahmed spends two minutes dancing his way to the ring — and gets knocked out in one. It encapsulates everything good, then bad, then good again about boxing....
Everyone's Talking About Harry Baals
The Fort Wayne city government is renaming its government center, and its residents have demonstrated an overwhelming preference to honor former mayor Harry Baals (now pronounced bales). This is making for some excellent TV news reports, all compiled above....
Rays' Spring Training Stadium Infested By Bats, Covered In Bat Shit
Alternate headline: Bats! Bats! Oh God So Many Bats! Exterminators say they'll have the situation under control by the start of Spring Training games, but their solution amounts to building a big house just for the bats just outside the stadium. I hope they release the bats for game-winning home run...
Rinku And Dinesh Are Coming To A Crappy Disney Movie Near You
Disney has hired screenwriter Tom McCarthy to write the script for "Million Dollar Arm," the inspiring story of two young Indian men who won a reality show and then got signed by the most miserable team in the major leagues. Rinku Singh and Dinesh Patel requested in 2009 that we not equate their sto...
Cockblocked By The Hoff!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
We Are All Dave McKenna VIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets a proper defenestration. Today's topic: Dan Snyder is a self-defeatingly petulant shit....
Isles Goon Runs Business More Successful Than His Own Team
Zenon Konopka, who leads the NHL in penalty minutes this year, is a grapeseed oil magnate. He makes and sells wine, too. Then, presumably, Sandis Ozolinsh drinks it. [AmEx Open Forum]...
From Bleacher Report To ProFootballTalk: A Brett Favre Non-Rumor Goes National
We've gotten the emails too: "Bret Favre to join Dancing With The Stars?" We ignored them until PFT posted the rumors early this morning. As fascinating as that would be, the tale of how the rumor made it this far is an even better story....
This Pink Nightmare Is An Actual Hockey Jersey
The ECHL's Alaska Aces will suit up Sunday night in this Valentine's Day nightie jersey. Remember kids, pink is an acceptable uniform color only if you're fighting breast cancer, or are Bret "The Hitman" Hart....
Ray Allen Humbly Breaks The NBA's 3-Point Record
Last night, Ray Allen made the 2,561st three-pointer of his professional career in a 92-86 loss to the Lakers and gave Reggie Miller a hug. He did this, as he reportedly does everything else in his life, quite humbly. Even if it is true that all 2,562 of those three-pointers (he knocked down another...