a Page 7697 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Yankee Fans Are Completely Reasonable About Signing Derek Jeter
A lovable old man called in to New York sports talk radio to share his thoughts on what the Yankees should give Jeter in his upcoming negotiations. It's naive, and foolish, and probably a pretty accurate microcosm for the fanbase....
Cockblocked By A Salad-Tossing Cow!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Last Night's Winner: The Zenyatta Bubble
Zenyatta, the undefeated 6-year-old mare who's getting the sort of soft-focus-and-tinkly-piano treatment we generally reserve for plucky little Olympic gymnasts and Bob Costas, is an 8-to-5 favorite in tomorrow's Breeders' Cup Classic, horse racing's true signature event. Bet against....
Jerry Rice Is Obviously Not The Best Football Player Of All Time
The way I see it, there were six players they could have named as No. 1 and no one could seriously object: Brown, Unitas, Payton, Montana, LT and Elway. They chose none of those. We're objecting....
Derrick Rose Does Something Point Guards Shouldn't Be Able To Do
Last night's Bulls-Knicks game was a scoring bonanza. While the Knicks prevailed, Derrick Rose had the highlight of the game: this Dominique Wilkins-esque slam that a wiry, 6'3" point guard shouldn't be able to do....
Is This The Machine Or An Imposter On The Tonight Show?
Click to view Brian Wilson took his routine to The Tonight Show last night and—among other things—introduced The Machine to the Jaywalking-loving audience (around the 3:30 mark). Either Pat Burrell gained weight, or we have a whole new mystery on our hands....
Someone In The Heat Organization Finally Decided To Stop The Assholery
That Ohio kid who wore a LeBron Miami jersey to an Indians game after The Decision? The Heat offered to fly him down for a game, until the public caught wind and someone decided maybe they don't need to celebrate jerks. Again....
Kevin Harlan Thinks The NBA Has A Four-Point Shot
Either that or he lost track of the score. The latter's probably more likely. [h/t Benjamin]...
C.J. Spiller Is Prepared For His First Buffalo Winter
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
The Truth Behind Those Terrible Texas Statues Is Sorta Revealed
Remember the terracotta-army-like statues that Texas threw up recently? Well, there's a sign now that explains that the statues are to honor specific people, but remain generic as statues. The old "it sucks on purpose" defense hasn't been this transparent since The Room....
Knifepoint Cunnilingus And A Fishy Scent
I don't want to spoil the surprise, but I really think you should check this out....
Report: Cam Newton Sought Cash For Commitment
This could be a big one. ESPN is reporting that someone claiming to represent Cam Newton as he made the jump from JuCo to FBS asked for money in the range of $200,000 to guarantee Newton's commitment. [ESPN]...
Mark Sanchez Fined For Body Language
The first victim of a policy he instituted, Sanchez was fined for non-verbally blaming a teammate for a practice mistake. Mark Brunell pockets the cash. I think Brunell isn't actually an employee, and he's just living on fines and buffet scraps. [Star-Ledger]...
Slow-Motion Video Of Popcorn Popping, Because Why Not
If you have ever wondered how popcorn is made, the answer is science. But here's a video that shows some really delicious science in action. [Modernist Cuisine, H/T Katie]...
Heat Strokes, Game 5: The Last Asshole Standing
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....
How To Cover A Dog Sex Scandal: Just Another Day At Deadspin
Sometimes, we get stories that even we aren't sure what to do with. Here's a transcript of a discussion on how to package a story about a rugger with his dick in a dog's mouth. This is how your sausage gets made....
Colin Cowherd's Asinine John Wall Rant, With Video Accompaniment
On Tuesday, John Wall played his first home game as a Washington Wizard. During his introduction, he came out to "Teach Me How To Dougie" and performed the accompanying dance. Colin Cowherd was less than thrilled because Colin Cowherd is an asshole....
The Frantic Search For The Cowboys Lap Dance Girl
The titillating yet kind of gross video caused a bit of a stir yesterday, so it was natural that the young lady's identity would become a topic of discussion. Our first clue: the oft-lifted shirt....
The 10 Worst Long-Tenured Head Coaches Of The Past 20 Years
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
What We Talk About When We Talk About A Dog Blowing An Australian Rugby Player (NSFW)
And here's a story from the Australian rugby universe sure to leave your brain a scrambled mess. To sum up: Canberra Raiders center Joel Monaghan decided to get drunkenly intimate with his teammate's dog. A picture was taken, it went viral, now he may be kicked out of the league....