a Page 7708 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Last Night's Winner: Dumb, Vaguely Crooked Proposals To Preserve Our Quaint Ideal Of Amateurism
The hot new idea being bruited by the Coalition Of People Who Take Amateurism Seriously (Sponsored by Nike) is to levy "post-NCAA financial penalties" on professional players who ran around with agents during college, which is like the whorehouse fining the whore....
Birth Of Basketball For Sale
James Naismith's original typewritten rules of basketball are up for auction. David Stern is frantically scanning them for mention of a hard cap....
Romo's Injury Flips The Script, To The Secret Delight Of Cowboys Fans
With Michael Boley's spear, the narrative for the entire Cowboys season changed. And while it won't save Wade Phillips' job, it will allow Dallas fans to coast through another season and offseason of self-delusion....
Paul The Octopus Couldn't Predict His Own Death
Paul passed away peacefully in his sleep this morning, after a distinguished career as a World Cup prognosticator. He was 2. He is surived by his closest relative, Squiddly Diddly. In lieu of flowers, please send tartar sauce. [CNN]...
Jon Gruden Once Again Drawing Abstract Penises On Nation's Television Screens
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Here's Your Monday Night Inspiration For Going To The Gym This Week
The 33 Chilean miners who just emerged after two months trapped underground played in a friendly match against their rescuers today and lost 3-2. "[They're] great players," joked Chilean President Sebastián Piñera, "but they're a bit out of shape."...
Tony Romo Is Probably Done For The Season
Romo broke his left collarbone in the second quarter against the Giants tonight after taking a hit from Michael Boley. The Cowboys are 1-4 and are now down 38-20 in the fourth quarter. Okay, Jon Kitna. It's all yours....
Philadelphia Inquirer Writer Compares Phillies Loss To 1906 San Francisco Earthquake
"When it was over, the town was a charred, smoldering mess—a blackened patch of scorched earth that left the survivors shocked and shattered as they tried to figure out what happened and how to move forward."...
I Shaved My Balls For These Hockey Seats
Here's a great little photo ESPN ran with its Saturday post-game hockey coverage. Wonderful wardrobe choice by this fan, whose exasperated expression really adds to him being annoyed at making the extra effort to groom his scrotal region for an NHL game....
Liverpool Breaks Out The Old "Finger Up The Arse" Goal Celebration
Did Maxi Rodriguez give a teammate a bit of amateur proctology? This is apparently a real topic of discussion....
Kobe Bryant Is Going To Be The Next Brett Favre
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Kobe Bryant....
What Does It Mean When Steve Nash Says The Suns Will Stink?
In an interview with SB Nation Arizona, Steve Nash looked at the Suns' roster and declared, "if I was outside this picture and a betting man, I would probably pick us to be outside of the playoffs." What does this mean?...
Bring Out The Limp: Brett Favre's Ankle Has Tiny Fractures
Yet, Coach Childress hasn't ruled Favre out for this week's game against the Patriots. Drew Magary=Rob Dibble. But Drew's job is safe. Don't worry. [NFL]...
Derek Dooley Compares His Tennessee Team To The Nazis Or Something (UPDATED WITH VIDEO)
During a press conference today, Tennessee head coach Derek Dooley took a spin towards crazytown, comparing his team's miscommunication woes to the Nazis' prior to the Allies' landing at Normandy. This won't be hilariously recontextualized by a rival at all....
Cloying, Thy Name Is LeBron James
Nike's LeBron James has appeared in a new commercial for LeBron James and Nike. It's as transparent as you would suspect, and somehow, it's even worse than the Zombie Earl Woods commercial....
Philadelphia's Poop Revenge Thwarted
According to The Mighty Dan Gross, a table of women asked a server to put laxatives in the food of a handful of Giants who were dining out in Philly Friday night. Perhaps it was the home team who could have used a case of the runs....
Anyone In LA Want To See Stephen A. Smith's New Show?
Stephen A. is taping a new show on Wednesday, Angelenos, so if you're free, print out your free tickets from this link and report back to us with your findings. Press release and more details after the jump....
Scoring Some <em>Telochki</em> With Alex Ovechkin
GQ profiles Ovechkin this month, including him hitting the town in Moscow. Ovie treats the fawning women like — well, pretty much what you'd expect from a young, rich superstar....
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Here's Audio Of That ESPN U Reporter Getting Pranked And Wrecking Her Hotel Room (NSFW)
Last week, Elizabeth Moreau was the victim of a prank in which she was prevailed upon to break a window in her hotel room, among other things. Here's a snippet. Head over to The Smoking Gun to listen to the whole thing....