a Page 7747 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tuneful, Preppy Version Of "Bitches Ain't Shit" Suggests Bitches May Be Shit, After All
Oh, there's nothing quite like a post-ironic a cappella version of a white man's very ironic cover of a Dr. Dre song done by a group of spunky young tarts....

The One Where Erin Andrews And Kirk Herbstreit Rumors Resurface
Welcome back to Deleted Scenes. If you're new, read this to figure out what we do here. If not, well, let's get down to business....

Horse Groomer Accuses Of "Grooming" Horse's Naughty Bits
A handler at Illinois's Arlington Park is accused of fondling one of the horses. If that didn't get it to run, I'm not sure I'd back it in the sixth. [Sun-Times]...

Look At This Fucking Hoopster: "Kelly Tripucka" Hangs Out With San Antonio Spurs, Is Lead Singer Of Arcade Fire
An occasional feature in which we spotlight the ridiculous trend of recontextualized basketball jerseys. Today: everyone's favorite Polish-American Knicks color commentator Kelly Tripucka....

Newsreader Revealed As Pantsless Behind Desk
Confirming what we all suspected, one anchor was caught by cameras showing what really goes on underneath the desk....

Antonio Valencia Has One More Broken Leg Than Usual
During the Red Devils recent match against Glasgow Rangers, winger Antonio Valencia was challenged by the aptly named Kirk Broadfoot and ended up suffering a compound fracture in his leg. He will miss the remainder of the season. [Goal.com, H/T JRG]...

Fight Night On 9/11: A Lust For Destructo Porn And The Folly Of Creative Boxing
LAS VEGAS — On Sept. 11, firefighters in Clark County, Nev., somberly parked their trucks in front of the New York, New York casino, complementing a fake NY Fire boat on a fake lake underneath a fake Statue of Liberty....

In Calvin Johnson's Version Of Events, The Referee Talks Like Kanye West
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Detroit Lion and pass dropper Calvin Johnson....

GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE: Vaginal Bear Trap Edition!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Today, In Unintentional Rape Puns
Obviously this headline is a pun on the Orem Owlz's playoff opponents, the Raptors. Not anything else. Don't know why anyone would think that. [MiLB.com, H/T Jared]...

How A College Kid's Photograph Helped Launch Denard Robinson's Heisman Candidacy
In the last two weeks, while racking up more total yardage on his own than 86 teams, Denard Robinson, Michigan's dreadlocked, dual-threat quarterback, emerged as the early favorite to win the Heisman Trophy. The longer his campaign lasts, the more it could revolve around one student's photograph....

Kansas State Mistakenly Listed As A Top School, Until It Turned Out They'll Let Anybody In
The Kaplan/Newsweek College Rankings had K-State as the 16th most desirable large school, until they found out that the reported admission rates were inaccurate. Kansas State actually admits 98 percent of applicants. [Journal-World]...

Lions Cheerleaders Not Allowed To Be Lions Cheerleaders
Following the lead of just about every other team, Detroit has finally brought in some spirit. A few caveats: they're not allowed to cheer, and they're not allowed to be affiliated with the Detroit Lions. You're doing it wrong....

Werner Herzog's Thrilling Car Accident Rescue Story Has Been Animated
Saying Werner Herzog is interesting is an understatement. He gives that Dos Equis Guy a serious run for his money in the Interesting Department. Here's an animated version of the time he saved Joaquin Phoenix from a hideous car wreck. [Kottke]...

Not Last Night's Winner: The Pee-Wee Football Team Who Was Flashed By This Woman
Ms. Tonya Brown walked onto a field in Cincinnati and lifted her shirt, making some young players not want to ever reach puberty. [Enquirer]...

Last Night's Winner: Mississippi Valley State's Airline Miles
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the MVSU Delta Devils, who will play their entire nonconference schedule on the road, because the program really really needs the appearance fees....

Here Are Some Grisly Photos Of A Sailor's Body Parts After Being Eaten By This Tiger Shark
Yesterday, we pointed you to this story about the poor sailor chomped by a tiger shark off the coast of the Bahamas. Underwater Times has the gruesome after photos. If you have a quick gag reflex, do not continue....

Alessandro Del Piero Ups The Stakes On Thomas Müller With A Nice One
Two great goals posted on the same day—how about that! Following Müller's outside of the boot corker, above is old man Del Piero proving that age hast not withered thine legs*....

Naked Photo Of Someone Who's Probably Not Nick Saban's Daughter Is About To Go Viral
It started off with an email from a man named David: "Any interest in Nick Saban's daughter, who is a sophomore at Alabama, topless?" And then some other dude sent us the pic rapidly circulating around SEC cell phones. (NSFW)...

"Look At The Tree" Tornado Video Is The East Coast's "Double Rainbow"
So, we had a tornado here in New York yesterday evening. Most people took it in stride. These bros in Brooklyn freaked right the fuck out. Let's enjoy....