a Page 7751 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Pobody's Nerfect In Australasia
America doesn't have a monopoly on jingoistic, inaccurate headlines. The Sydney Morning Herald celebrates New Zealand's unlikely draw by labeling them "Australasia." [SMH]...

Mike Ditka Gets Annoyed With Idiocy Of Airplane Passengers On Recent Flight (Video)
Story summary: Flight from Pittsburgh takes off, has mechanical trouble, goes back to runway. Passengers told to wait in seats, but some try to de-plane anyway. Da Coach gets frustrated by their inability to listen to instructions. (H/T: Mike.)...

Last Night's Winner: Game 7 Aficionados
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like those who aren't ready to resign themselves to soccer and the dog days of baseball season. We still have basketball, for a little while longer....

World Cup Open Thread: Spain-Switzerland (RUH-ROH)
Spain goes by The Fury and has an obscenely talented squad. The Swiss ...had five hundred years of democracy and peace — and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock. Prediction: Torres gets one in a grinder. FINAL: Switzerland 1, Spain 0....

World Cup Open Thread: Honduras-Chile
Day 6 kicks things off with two of the favorite countries of coup d'etat enthusiasts. Honduras's nickname, Los Catrachos, is based on a mispronunciation of the last name of a general who was the basis of a bizarre Ed Harris movie....

Alexander Ovechkin Is Enjoying His Summer
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Albert Haynesworth Continues To Out-Haynesworth Himself
It seems that the NFL's most well-paid defensive lineman finds playing defensive lineman to be an unreasonable job requirement and wants to be traded—even though his stupidly gargantuan contract makes that impossible....

Entire Canadian Football Team Suspended For Steroids
Nine University of Waterloo football players are suspected of possible steroid use, so the team's entire season has been canceled. (There may have been a smidgen of drug trafficking, too.) That's Canada, for you. Always so....reasonable. [OttawaCitizen]...

North Korean Soccer Fans Are Actually Chinese "Volunteers" (UPDATE)
North Korea's World Cup debut elicited touching stories about the ragtag group of soccer fans "hand-picked" by the Communist regime to support their squad in South Africa. Turns out they were hand-picked for their skill at not being Korean....

Celtics-Lakers Has Competitive Greatness Coming Out The Ass
Quietly, perhaps in a brief moment when floppy Derek Fisher wasn't butoh dancing for the refs, Celtics-Lakers became everything anyone could want in a basketball series....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 15th
Lots of good ones today. The Brazilian goals were nonchalant and North Korea — the Bad Korea — scored on The Selection on a really nice play. Top honors must go to New Zealand's Winston Reid for his stoppage-time equalizer....

Tom Izzo: Spartan "For Life"
That sounds about right. Now ... exhale. [Lansing State Journal]...

Teagarden Affair Once Again Exposes All-Star Voters As A Bunch Of Morons
Here's your triannual reminder that sports fans are stupid, and should be protected from themselves: currently fourth in the voting for AL catcher is a player who has one measly hit on the season, and currently plays in Double-A....

The Legend Of Black Superman: Billy Ray Bates, Flying High In The Philippines
In the 1980s, Billy Ray Bates, dubbed "the Legend" by Brent Musberger, washed out of the NBA and onto the shores of the Philippines, where for a few wild years his legend grew, both on the court and in the bars....

Steve Kerr Resigns, Trades Himself Back To Television
Resigns as Suns' GM after four years of overseeing fastfastfastfastfast basketball. [SLAM!]...

Extremely In-Depth Profiles In Courage: Elizabeth Minett (A.K.A. Robert Green's Ex)
This is Elizabeth Minet. She's the ex-girlfriend of English goal keeper Robert Green and currently the scapegoat for the Cock-Up heard round the world. But what do we really know about her? Pictures and profile after the jump....

World Cup Open Thread: Brazil-North Korea
This one's not even going to be close, Brazil's going to show 'em what's what for kidnapping all those Japanese people....

USB-Charged Vibrators May Take Over The Universe
No time to waste. We go right to your letters....

Intern Horrors: Joe Buck Edition ... With A Response From Joe Buck
We received an intern horror story this week so delicious that it warranted its own post. Our old pal Joe Buck is involved. So is Joe Buck's sweat-soiled napkin. Allegedly. The story — and Joe's response — after the jump....

LeBron Watch, Day 26: Why Tom Izzo Isn't Man Enough To Coach The Cavs
Last week, the Cleveland Cavaliers offered Michigan State's Tom Izzo the chance to coach in the NBA. The deafening silence since proves Izzo ain't ready....