a Page 7752 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cell Phone-Bosomed Paraguay Girl Is The Star Of The World Cup So Far
You can be happy, the rest of your life, with a Paraguay Girl. Even the Italians, who had to settle for a troubling tie from the scrappy republic known primarily for its political unrest and its chief export, mandals....

Intern Horrors: "You'll Never Work In This Business Again," The Scooter-Riding Mascot Said
Welcome to Intern Horrors, the weekly feature filled with tales of being at the bottom of the totem pole, looking way up or cursing the indentured servants that save you money. Today: mascots behaving badly, office chair shenanigans and more. Sic alert!...

Tiger Mistress Upgrades Self To Tiger Baby Mama
A disgraced former journalist claims that a sensationalist documentary claims that a fame-seeking mistress claims she gave birth to Tiger Woods's love child, and was paid to keep quiet. Well, that's all the evidence I need! [The Sun]...

Tim Donaghy On Game 5: Why Make-Up Calls Are Necessary
Tim Donaghy, the former NBA referee who spent 11 months in prison for relaying inside information to gamblers, is reviewing the performance of his former colleagues during the NBA Finals. Here's a quarter-by-quarter breakdown of Game 5, with video....

Yes, Soccer Is Gay
According to this report, from America's finest news source. [Onion Sports Network]...

Get Dad Something Classy For Once
If the day before Father's Day you can usually be found elbowing your way to the front of a pack of fellow procrastinating schmoes scanning the "Dads" greeting card section in a Rite Aid, let Johnnie Walker help. Click here to order a specially-labeled bottle of Black Label for Dad....

World Cup Open Thread: Italy-Paraguay
Mandioca! Anything carbonara! Fight! It's Italy and La Albirroja, the darkhorse Paraguayan squadron. Bring your best Pavarotti jokes and comment as you watch the last of today's matches....

Abby Sunderland's Controversial Voyage Was For A Reality TV Show
Heard enough about Abby Sunderland, the 16-year-old whose record attempt got a whole bunch of panties in a twist this past week? Too bad. Her family inked a deal for a doc and a reality show before she shoved off....

Tonya Harding Sex Fantasy Page Still Surprisingly Active
Here's an unwelcome departure from refuckingallignment and World Cup news: Tonya Harding, disgraced former figure skater, still has fans. Horny fans, actually, who not-so-eloquently fantasize about "karate fucking" her and other disturbing coital activities....

U.S.A.-England Tie Given The Lego Treatment
Here's the Lego version of the U.S. England goal. You haven't lived until you've seen a Lego Robert Green lay down on a Lego soccer field in Lego shame. H/T Denton. [The Guardian, via Business Insider]...

Chris Cooley, Chugging Condiments
Our old friend Chris Cooley is back. No, he's not showing us his penis this time. But after seeing this video, we almost wish he had....

Americans Still Coming To Terms With The Rules Of Victory
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....

The One Where The Mets Get Started Early For USA-England
Continental Harbor Hotel, Baltimore, Md.: Saturday before the USA v England game in Baltimore. We tried to get them to come to Hooters with us to watch the game but they had to go to bp I assume — Darcy D....

Can You Name The Things Wrong With This Lede?
"The Mercury turned the Tulsa Shock's "40 minutes of Hell" into 40 minutes of fun. Just ask the 6,580 who witnessed the Mercury set a WNBA record for points in a game in a 116-84 win Saturday night." [Arizona Republic]...

Your Culturally Insensitive Weekend World Cup Goal Roundup (Video)
Last time around, we didn't have that many goals and thus only a few chances to express woeful ignorance about other countries' cultures. This time? Eleven goals over six games. So let's get stupid....

Vince Young's Texas Pride Wins The Weekend
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLAh16kAvPA In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Vince Young standing up for his alma mater, punching out a dude just because he was from Oklahoma....

World Cup Open Thread: Japan-Cameroon
Japan's captain Makoto Hasebe is reportedly fully healed from a back injury, but can he lead Samurai Blue past Internazionale badass Samuel Eto'o and the rest of the Indomitable Lions? Should be a sizzler, so comment below....

England Now Just One Enormous Cock-Up
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

World Cup Open Thread: Netherlands-Denmark
Day 4 kicks off with The Flying Dutchpersons taking on the very punny Olsen's Eleven while people the world over incorrectly point out which country is which on a map. Follow the consonant-filled action below....
