abe Page 23 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Stanford Band Doofuses Still Barred From Cal Rivalry Game
The Stanford marching band has been banned from road games since May 2015 for a “sexual hazing” scandal, but they’ve been allowed to attend bowl games. They made everyone mad at the Rose Bowl last year by being quirky and transgressive enough to make a completely out-of-left-field joke about how muc...
Did You Hear The Latest Big Election Scoop?
This past weekend, I caught some evolved form of plague from my two-year-old, disease-carrying nephew. Though I’m past the worst of the illness at this point, some residual sinus pressure remains. So I stopped by the drugstore on my way into the office. It was here that I learned that Huma Abedin an...
The Sub2 Project Takes Credit For Kenenisa Bekele's Near-World Record Marathon<em></em>
Ethiopian Almaz Ayana set a new world record of 29 minutes 17.45 seconds in the women’s 10,000 meters at the Rio Olympics. About a month later, fellow Ethiopian Kenenisa Bekele sped through the streets of Berlin, covering 26.2 miles in 2:03:03. That’s just six seconds shy of the world record, and a ...
Junior League Hockey Player Suspended After Concussing Flyers Prospect
Pascal Laberge was selected by the Philadelphia Flyers in the second round of this year’s NHL draft, and currently plays for the Victoriaville Tigres in the Quebec Major Junior Hockey League. During Saturday’s game against the Moncton Wildcats, he took a vicious hit from Zachary Malatesta....
Alana Beard Hits Buzzer-Beater To Give Sparks Game 1 Win In WNBA Finals
Today’s WNBA Finals Game 1 between the L.A. Sparks and Minnesota Lynx ended with a buzzer-beater from guard Alana Beard to give Los Angeles a 78-76 win and 1-0 lead in the best-of-five series....
Watch Olympic Silver Medalist Daryl Homer School Us In Saber Fencing
Daryl Homer became the first American man to win an Olympic saber silver since 1904 last month in a bout that lasted mere minutes—as all fencing bouts do. If you blinked, you’d have missed the final point that broke the 14-14 tie and the decades-long medal drought. (Peter Westbrook won bronze in th...
Huma Abedin Dumps Anthony Weiner After Third Sexting Scandal
Huma Abedin announced this morning that she is separating from her husband Anthony Weiner, a little over 12 hours after the New York Post revealed that the former congressman and New York mayoral candidate has been engaged in a year and a half-long texting relationship with an anonymous woman that f...
Blue Jays Assistant Offers The Hottest Advanced Stats Take Of All
Are you seated? Are you prepared to hear the rawest, truest sabermetrics take of all time from Blue Jays scout Steve Springer?...
Cal Had To Ship Their Own Goalposts To Australia
The college football season starts this Friday, with Cal playing Hawaii in Sydney, Australia. It will be the first college football game played in Australia since 1987, and with the Aussies busy with rugby and cricket, they’re not much of a football country. Cal offensive lineman Aaron Cochran and k...
Japanese Prime Minister Becomes Mario For Tokyo 2020 Segment
Japanese prime minister Shinzo Abe became Super Mario tonight in the traditional portion of the closing ceremony that previews the next Olympiad. Mario was joined by Pac-Man and famous anime figures, as well:...
Scottish Club's Keeper Swings And Misses, Leading To Really Dumb Own Goal
Here is Aberdeen’s Joe Lewis, re-enacting that embarrassing time in elementary school when the kickball pitcher served you up a duck just waiting to be crushed, but you tried so hard to kill it that you whiffed. Unfortunately for Lewis, he did it in a decisive Europa League qualifying match, meaning...
The Fight Between Berkeley's Academics And Its Football Team Is Getting Ugly
There’s this old joke around Berkeley that nobody actually knows what the town’s famous university is called. UC Berkeley, Cal Berkeley, California, and a few other permutations get tossed around—most notably “Berkeley,” which academic departments use to refer to the school, and “Cal,” the preferred...
Samantha Bee Suplexes Trolls Who Harassed Seattle Councilwomen For Rejecting New NBA Arena
The Seattle City Council voted 5-4 against selling a block of the city that would have made it possible for hedge fund manager Chris Hansen to move forward with plans for a new NBA arena. The majority that voted against the deal were all women. They got hate mail....
How Two Online Baseball Writers Won An Indie-League Draft By Finding Talent And Stealing It
The following is excerpted from The Only Rule Is It Has To Work, the wonderful new book in which two sabermetrically-inclined baseball writers—Sam Miller of Baseball Prospectus and Ben Lindbergh of ESPN—recount their experience running baseball operations for the Sonoma Stompers, an actual, real-lif...
This Oral History Of The Doug Mirabelli Trade Is Delightful
Let’s go back to 2006, a simpler time when Trot Nixon and Matt Clement roamed the earth. That winter, the Red Sox had traded away Doug Mirabelli, not known for his offensive prowess so much as he was for being Tim Wakefield’s personal catcher. Not just everyone can successfully catch a knuckleball, ...
Fired Cal Coach Who Asked Reporter For Three-Way Gets Nevada Job, Releases Docs Which Prove Nothing
Yann Hufnagel was fired less than a month ago from his job as an assistant basketball coach at Cal for violating the school’s sexual harassment policy, yet he’s already landed on his feet with a similar job at the University of Nevada. Hufnagel is a brilliant recruiter, so he was always going to get...
<i>The Portable Veblen </i>Mixes Uneasy Marital Comedy With Psychic Squirrels, As One Does
Thorstein Veblen was a Norwegian-American writer and economist famous for decrying conspicuous consumption, getting run out of teaching jobs at Stanford and the University of Chicago in the early 1900s, and cataloging the psychological trauma of capitalism. All of which makes him a rather strange na...
"WE BE CHAMPIONSHIP": Draymond Green's Mother Pens Open Letter To Warriors Haters
The Warriors are probably going to win at least 70 games, and are currently on pace to eclipse Michael Jordan’s 1996 Bulls and win 73. They’re good and fun and they’re killing everyone, but even they’ve drawn some haters. Draymond Green’s mother wrote an open letter to those haters. Hey, Oscar Rober...