abe Page 24 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Striker Somehow Fails To Kick Ball Into Open Net From Point-Blank Range
You know what, rather than ridicule, Aberdeen striker Miles Storey deserves our sympathy. Yes, it’s never good to find a way not to score when you’re literally a foot away from an unguarded net, but the incoming cross was deflected, and it had to feel like shit to hear that sound the crowd made when...
What Kobe Bryant Was Capable Of
The story originally appeared in The Los Angeles Times Magazine on Oct. 31, 2004 and can be found in Kaye’s ebook anthology, Men: What They Do, How They Think, And Why. It is republished here with the author’s permission....
Andrea Belotti, Young Italian Soccer Man, Is Having Himself A Hell Of A Season
Andrea Belotti ... that famous Italian singer guy? Nope, that’s Andrea Bocelli, but good try....
Jos Hermens Explains How He's Going To Find A Sub Two-Hour Marathoner
Jos Hermens had been talking for maybe four minutes, and already I had learned that he sexted his wife (he made a gleeful face and texting motions); that Americans are fucking uptight (also uptight about fucking) and that is the problem with our country; that his people, the Dutch, are so happy beca...
Stanford Band Doofuses Still Barred From Cal Rivalry Game
The Stanford marching band has been banned from road games since May 2015 for a “sexual hazing” scandal, but they’ve been allowed to attend bowl games. They made everyone mad at the Rose Bowl last year by being quirky and transgressive enough to make a completely out-of-left-field joke about how muc...
Did You Hear The Latest Big Election Scoop?
This past weekend, I caught some evolved form of plague from my two-year-old, disease-carrying nephew. Though I’m past the worst of the illness at this point, some residual sinus pressure remains. So I stopped by the drugstore on my way into the office. It was here that I learned that Huma Abedin an...
The Sub2 Project Takes Credit For Kenenisa Bekele's Near-World Record Marathon<em></em>
Ethiopian Almaz Ayana set a new world record of 29 minutes 17.45 seconds in the women’s 10,000 meters at the Rio Olympics. About a month later, fellow Ethiopian Kenenisa Bekele sped through the streets of Berlin, covering 26.2 miles in 2:03:03. That’s just six seconds shy of the world record, and a ...
Junior League Hockey Player Suspended After Concussing Flyers Prospect
Pascal Laberge was selected by the Philadelphia Flyers in the second round of this year’s NHL draft, and currently plays for the Victoriaville Tigres in the Quebec Major Junior Hockey League. During Saturday’s game against the Moncton Wildcats, he took a vicious hit from Zachary Malatesta....
Alana Beard Hits Buzzer-Beater To Give Sparks Game 1 Win In WNBA Finals
Today’s WNBA Finals Game 1 between the L.A. Sparks and Minnesota Lynx ended with a buzzer-beater from guard Alana Beard to give Los Angeles a 78-76 win and 1-0 lead in the best-of-five series....
Watch Olympic Silver Medalist Daryl Homer School Us In Saber Fencing
Daryl Homer became the first American man to win an Olympic saber silver since 1904 last month in a bout that lasted mere minutes—as all fencing bouts do. If you blinked, you’d have missed the final point that broke the 14-14 tie and the decades-long medal drought. (Peter Westbrook won bronze in th...
Huma Abedin Dumps Anthony Weiner After Third Sexting Scandal
Huma Abedin announced this morning that she is separating from her husband Anthony Weiner, a little over 12 hours after the New York Post revealed that the former congressman and New York mayoral candidate has been engaged in a year and a half-long texting relationship with an anonymous woman that f...
Blue Jays Assistant Offers The Hottest Advanced Stats Take Of All
Are you seated? Are you prepared to hear the rawest, truest sabermetrics take of all time from Blue Jays scout Steve Springer?...
Cal Had To Ship Their Own Goalposts To Australia
The college football season starts this Friday, with Cal playing Hawaii in Sydney, Australia. It will be the first college football game played in Australia since 1987, and with the Aussies busy with rugby and cricket, they’re not much of a football country. Cal offensive lineman Aaron Cochran and k...
Japanese Prime Minister Becomes Mario For Tokyo 2020 Segment
Japanese prime minister Shinzo Abe became Super Mario tonight in the traditional portion of the closing ceremony that previews the next Olympiad. Mario was joined by Pac-Man and famous anime figures, as well:...
Scottish Club's Keeper Swings And Misses, Leading To Really Dumb Own Goal
Here is Aberdeen’s Joe Lewis, re-enacting that embarrassing time in elementary school when the kickball pitcher served you up a duck just waiting to be crushed, but you tried so hard to kill it that you whiffed. Unfortunately for Lewis, he did it in a decisive Europa League qualifying match, meaning...
The Fight Between Berkeley's Academics And Its Football Team Is Getting Ugly
There’s this old joke around Berkeley that nobody actually knows what the town’s famous university is called. UC Berkeley, Cal Berkeley, California, and a few other permutations get tossed around—most notably “Berkeley,” which academic departments use to refer to the school, and “Cal,” the preferred...
Samantha Bee Suplexes Trolls Who Harassed Seattle Councilwomen For Rejecting New NBA Arena
The Seattle City Council voted 5-4 against selling a block of the city that would have made it possible for hedge fund manager Chris Hansen to move forward with plans for a new NBA arena. The majority that voted against the deal were all women. They got hate mail....
How Two Online Baseball Writers Won An Indie-League Draft By Finding Talent And Stealing It
The following is excerpted from The Only Rule Is It Has To Work, the wonderful new book in which two sabermetrically-inclined baseball writers—Sam Miller of Baseball Prospectus and Ben Lindbergh of ESPN—recount their experience running baseball operations for the Sonoma Stompers, an actual, real-lif...
This Oral History Of The Doug Mirabelli Trade Is Delightful
Let’s go back to 2006, a simpler time when Trot Nixon and Matt Clement roamed the earth. That winter, the Red Sox had traded away Doug Mirabelli, not known for his offensive prowess so much as he was for being Tim Wakefield’s personal catcher. Not just everyone can successfully catch a knuckleball, ...