ac Page 509 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

We are sorry to report that Herschel Walker might run for U.S. Senate
If you’ve watched Tommy Tuberville for the past few months and thought, “we need more MAGA sports figures who know next to nothing about our government to hold some of the most powerful political positions in the country,” well, you’re thrilled with today’s news....

Canucks finally set to return after teamwide COVID nightmare, but why?
The Vancouver Canucks will return to practice on Sunday, and resume their season on Friday against the Oilers, the NHL announced. What’s more, the eight games the Canucks have missed, or will miss, have been rescheduled, extending their season to May 16....

Look out, basketball fans, A-Rod is coming for the Timberwolves and Lynx
Alex Rodriguez and former Walmart CEO Marc Lore are teaming up to buy the four-time WNBA champion Minnesota Lynx from founding owner Glen Taylor, signing a letter of intent to start as limited partners before fully taking control from Taylor in 2023....

$50 million lawsuit filed against LSU by whistleblower who reported on Les Miles for racist, inappropriate remarks
Remember that one time I wrote about Les Miles being a creepy S.O.B during his time as head football coach at LSU? Well now LSU associate athletic director Sharon Lewis has filed a $50 million federal racketeering lawsuit against university officials for retaliating against her for reporting racist ...

SEE IT: Bryce Harper tries to tell attention-seeking ass how to pronounce the tilde in Acuña
It’s early in the baseball season, but it’s going to be hard to top what happened in Atlanta on Friday night for the major leagues’ self-own of the year. Of course, that’s what we all thought on Thursday night, when the news emerged of Trevor Bauer having his sticky balls inspected....

Si Woo Kim goes full 'Tin Cup' after breaking his putter
If you break your bat in baseball, you get a new bat....

Drink in the Trevor Bauer tears
In some ways, it felt like MLB set up their new “inspection of baseballs” rules specifically for Trevor Bauer. He’s the one who openly bitched about the Houston Astros pitchers and their increased spin rate. He’s the one who demonstrated, in Houston, what foreign substances could do. He’s the one wh...

Filthy rich NFL owners aren’t <i>quite</i> as rich as other sports' fat cats, according to new list
In American sports, everybody is always trying to catch up to the NFL. They have the biggest ratings, the largest fan base, and new stadiums constantly trying to out-gargantuan the others. It’s also a league full of shrewd business people who don’t have to pay guaranteed contracts....

Accounting firm manager T.J. McConnell has shown he can hoop
It’s crazy that a man who looks like he could play the lead role in Wedding Crashers has become a force off the bench in the NBA. ...

Ted Cruz’s performative outrage over MLB is laughably disingenuous and toothless
Major League Baseball’s decision to move the All-Star Game out of (suburban) Atlanta as a response to Georgia’s racist voting law generated a response of its own from two of the Senate’s leading shitposting insurrectionists, Ted Cruz and Mike Lee: a threat to draft legislation to revoke baseball’s a...

In one Texas town, a dead Black man and a hockey team’s divisive ‘thin blue line’ jerseys
Marvin Scott III’s family wasn’t notified of his death in the Collin County Detention Agency until nearly 15 hours later, and then only by a text message from the medical examiner....

Jazz and Suns give us a sensational late-night cookie in a season lacking real drama
I’ve used this space to try and quiet any meaning to NBA regular-season games. It’s been especially acute this season, when teams have rarely been at full-strength, and they seem more intent on just being intact for the playoffs, which they know are what counts and are more likely to have at least s...

North Carolina apparently forgot “Bathroom Bill’ fallout, as new anti-trans bill would force sports world’s hand again
A good rule of thumb in life is to always avoid making the same mistake twice....

Tiger Woods was doing 87 in a 45 when he crashed, but cops saw no probable cause for blood test
Tiger Woods was involved in a car crash in February, and according to Los Angeles County Sheriff Alex Villanueva, Woods was speeding heavily in the 45 MPH zone. Over the course of seven seconds and multiple impacts, Woods was driving between 85 and 87 miles per hour....

With 25 COVID-19 cases, just cancel the Canucks' season already
The news out of Vancouver isn’t getting any better....

Of course the PGA won’t stand against Georgia by boycotting the Masters
And then there’s the PGA....

More evidence that umpire Angel Hernandez is the worst at his job in America
Hey, let’s watch Angel Hernandez suck at his job! Again. ...

Terrace Marshall Jr.’s family connection with Joe Delaney, the Chiefs running back who died a hero
LSU has been churning out wide receiver talent over the last couple seasons, none more notably than last year’s should-have-been Offensive Rookie of the Year and Vikings phenom Justin Jefferson. This year, the NFL, its scouting personnel, and everyone who gets paid to share their opinions are seemin...

Rougned Odor must shave glorious beard thanks to Yankees’ dumb-ass facial hair policy
Because he’s been traded to the New York Yankees, Rougned Odor has to adopt the identity of a “clean-cut” American baseball player due to a policy that’s 48 years old....

In the end, Darnold, not the Jets, will have figured it out
The New York Jets won’t be, can’t be, right about this in the end....