aca Page 15 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cook For Yourself<em></em> 

My wife was out for a girls’ night and I was home alone with my three rowdy kids. To my enormous shame, I have yet to get my two younger kids to eat the same shit that my wife and I eat every night. I cook a regular meal, and then my boys eat chicken nuggets or cheese toast or some other garbage. Wi...

Cardinals Release Sam Bradford Into The Wild To Search For His Next Team To Grift

The Arizona Cardinals became the latest team to realize Sam Bradford had no purpose being on their roster and cut the nine-year veteran on Saturday, according to ESPN’s Adam Schefter. ...

Larry Fitzgerald Spiked The Ball To Get Back At His Garbage Son

Larry Fitzgerald, now in his 15th season, is suffering through yet another pointless year with the Cardinals, leading one of the worst teams in football with 34 receptions so far. And after a late two-point conversion catch that solidified his team’s 18-15 win over the 49ers on Sunday, some of that ...

Patrick Peterson "Desperately" Wants Out Of Arizona

The Arizona Cardinals are ass. Even in a sea of NFL ass, they are a deadly, towering ass iceberg. An assberg. They are 1-6 but spiritually 0-16. Patrick Peterson has had enough....

Now That's A Guy To Remember

Here Is Just A Totally Absurd Von Miller Highlight

Few things on a football field are easier to overlook than what goes on at the line of scrimmage. But sometimes a player does something so spectacular within that grunting tangle of limbs and padding that it can’t help but stand out as a highlight. Von Miller is one player capable of producing such ...

The Cardinals Shouldn't Be Allowed To Do This To David Johnson

The Arizona Cardinals, a team brewed in the depths of a toilet, possess a great gift. They have David Johnson, which means they have something that many NFL teams do not have: a running back who can stay on the field for all three downs and is just as dangerous as a receiver as he is a runner. Someo...

The Arizona Cardinals Are Toilet Soup

Von Miller called his shot earlier this week when he said his team would kick the Arizona Cardinals’ asses. The Broncos, who had lost four straight, had planned to take out their frustrations in tonight’s game. The hopeless bird men were happy to oblige....

Teen Baked Her Grandpa's Ashes Into Sugar Cookies, Fed Them To Peers

Andy Knox, a student at Da Vinci Charter Academy in California, told KRCA-TV how he came across the dead grandpa cookies. “Two weeks ago, I was just about to go into my sixth-period class, environmental science, and a girl who was also in the class stopped me and asked me if I wanted a cookie. And I...

Usain Bolt, Aspiring Soccer Player, Scores Two Goals In His First Start

Usain Bolt’s conversion from track star to soccer player continues apace. In August, Bolt got his first taste of the footy when he came off the bench for Australian team Central Coast Mariners in a friendly match and actually acquitted himself fairly decently. He built on that performance today, mak...

The USWNT Looks As Good As Ever And Is Rolling Toward The World Cup

CARY, N.C. — How are we not talking about this team all the time? Sustained dominance is easy to take for granted, sure. And as far as it has come in recent decades soccer still isn’t close to leading the sports conversation in the USA. These are answers, and they aren’t wrong, but they mostly evade...

Gervinho Rejects Your Conventional Belief In Teammates

It’s been a few years since Ivorian winger, and FIFA 15 cheat code, Gervinho, made headlines with something he’s done on a pitch. After making the move to China in 2016, where he ruptured his knee in training after 10 months, fans haven’t had a reason to really think about him since his game-winning...

Soccer Man's Goal Celebration Takes Surprise Detour Into The Twilight Zone

Meet Benjamin Kololli, a 26-year-old soccer player currently plying his trade in Switzerland. Kololli was in Cyprus yesterday, with his squad FC Zürich playing a big match against AEK Larnaca. Kololli is an important player, so he would not have been shocked to have been placed smack dab in the midd...

Ass Team Of The Week: Everything Is Wrong With The Arizona Cardinals

There are often discrete reasons that go a long way toward explaining a bad team’s badness. Look to the New York Giants, a team with a decent defense, perhaps the best receiver in the league, and a superhuman rookie running back that is nonetheless very bad because of one simple reason: they can’t b...

Michael Bidwill Still Thinks High School Pal Brett Kavanaugh Should Be Confirmed To The Supreme Court

Arizona Cardinals President Michael Bidwill directly mixed politics with football—maybe he wouldn’t think so, but that’s what he did—in July, when he used the team’s website to support Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, his old high school classmate at Georgetown Prep. Although Kavanaugh, who is...

Why Your Team Sucks 2018: Arizona Cardinals<em></em>

Some people are fans of the Arizona Cardinals. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Arizona Cardinals. This 2018 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here....

Tre Boston Thinks NFL Teams Are Colluding To Underpay Safeties

Statistically, Tre Boston was one of the NFL’s better cover safeties last season, when he played for the Chargers. He figured he’d cash in when he hit free agency, only to languish until July 25, when he signed with the Cardinals for one year, $1.5 million, with incentives that could push those earn...

Everson Griffen And His Wife Feeling Happy And Blessed! At The 9/11 Memorial. [Update]

Minnesota Vikings defensive end Everson Griffen and his wife were in New York City recently, and it looks like they spent some time seeing the sights:...

Well Look At That, Virginia Is Starting To Resemble A Football Team

Welcome to the Deadspin 25, a college football poll that strives to be more democratic and less useless than every other preseason poll. Leading up to the college football season kickoff, we will give you previews of the 25 teams that you, the readers, voted to be most worthy of writing about. Now, ...

Report: Cardinals TE Ricky Seals-Jones Arrested After Hotel Refuses To Let Him Go To The Bathroom

Arizona Cardinals tight end Ricky Seals-Jones was reportedly arrested by Scottsdale Police over the weekend and charged with assault, disorderly conduct, and criminal trespassing. From the information available, the arrest happened for a very dumb reason: He really had to go to the bathroom....