aca Page 26 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A Virginia Fan And Leet Haxor Wrote Us A Nice Letter

Earlier today, I published a post detailing why I will be wishing a swift and ignominious exit for the Virginia Cavaliers from the NCAA Tournament, centering mostly on the character of the school's students and alumni. We've since received this email from one of said UVa fans, republished in full:...

​​If You Like Painful Basketball And Dickhead Fans, Root For Virginia

Look, I'm not going to complain about Virginia's style of play here. You don't need to read the umpteenth article telling you that there's not much joy to be found in watching their version of rockball which involves, on offense, walking the ball up the court, wheeling man after man around the perim...

How To Take A Vacation Alone 

Traveling is not something you need to do with a group, or even a partner. In fact, it's often even better when done alone. It's a scary thought, but if you do it right, it's very rewarding....

MMA Fighter Gets Punched Into Another Dimension, Tries To Keep Fighting

Welterweight Matt Dwyer landed a Superman punch on William Macário for the knockout Sunday night at UFC Fight Night 61. Macário got hit so hard, his mind was transported to another dimension in which he was fighting an alternate-universe Dwyer. And then he fell to the mat and lost....

J.K. Simmons Uses Oscar Win To Promote Calling Your Parents

As expected, J.K. Simmons took home the Supporting Actor Academy Award for his performance in Whiplash. Simmons's acceptance speech was simple and yet memorable, simply because he told a worldwide audience to call—"Don't text, don't email, call"—a parent, if they have any living ones remaining. ...

Broccoli

Virginia Fan Turns Into Furious Dancing Machine, Somehow Loses Dance-Off

There was a dance-off at a Virginia basketball game last week, and it was a travesty. The fan who gave it her all lost to some shuffling guy. Grammys voters just keep sucking....

Copa Barry Singlehandedly Wins Africa Cup For Ivory Coast

Ivory Coast backup goalkeeper Boubacar Barry delivered his home country its first Africa Cup Of Nations since 1992 when he stopped his counterpart keeper's goal and then scored his own in the eleventh round of a penalty shootout....

NCAA Investigating Academic Fraud At 20 Colleges

Remember that academic fraud scandal at UNC, the one that revealed the term "student-athlete" to be just as hollow and fraudulent as you always assumed it was? Well, get ready to start hearing about many more scandals just like it....

Mexican Bicycle Goal Celebration Is Complicated

You've seen plenty of bicycle kicks, but have you ever seen a bicycle goal celebration? Mexico's Alejandro Díaz Liceaga broke it out after scoring his second goal against Cuba today in a CONCACAF U-20 tournament match. El Tri is defending its title, and doing so in brutal fashion—they're up 6-1 at h...

Report: Larry Fitzgerald Likely Won't Return To The Cardinals Next Year

Larry Fitzgerald's Cardinals career could come to an end if Arizona loses to Carolina this weekend, according to a report from Craig Morgan of Fox Sports Arizona. Fitzgerald's large contract and his unwillingness to restructure could make him a cap casualty in the offseason. ...

The Cardinals' Starting QB Will Be Ah Who Cares

This whole thing may be purely academic; the Cardinals are zeroing in on a road wild-card game, and Drew Stanton will probably be back by then. But, for the NFL completists out there: the third-stringer appears to have regained the inside track from the fourth-stringer for a likely-meaningless Week ...

My Goodness, The Challenge Flag Is Still So Dumb

Were you watching Thursday night football? I hope you weren't. The most exciting part was debating whether a little red flag fell or was thrown....

Thank God That Cardinals-Rams Game Finally Shut Up And Died

Jim Nantz earned his per diem Thursday tonight when he diagnosed, during the final moments of the drudgery that was Cardinals-Rams, what a throwback this game was....

High Schoolers Don't Realize Blocked FG Is Live, Lose State Semifinal

Last night Monacan High School's football team found out that defeat is even more agonizing when it is self-imposed. They took on regional powerhouse Lake Taylor High School away for the Virginia 4A South Region title, with the winner advancing to the state championship game....

UVA-Maryland Basketball Game Site Of Protest And "No Means No" Chants

A lot was going in College Park, Maryland, tonight, where the Maryland men's basketball team lost 76-65 to former-ACC rival University of Virginia in the ACC/Big 10 Challenge. A group of students held a die-in outside of the XFINITY Center to protest the deaths of Michael Brown and Eric Garner, an...

Darnell Dockett Is Apparently Live-Tweeting Jury Duty [Update]

Update, 5:30 p.m.: It's come to our attention that the photo of a courtroom that Dockett tweeted is actually an old photo, from a 2013 trial in Washington State. So it's entirely possible that he's making this whole thing up. Our original post on Dockett's tweets is below....

Devin Hester TD Called Back After Punter Abuses His Face

Devin Hester's punt return touchdown was called back after he allegedly committed an offensive facemask. Meanwhile, here's what was happening on his side of things....

Virginia, Virginia Tech Fight Over Which Team Is More Awful

Girls, girls, you're both 5-6....