aca Page 49 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Will Leitch Suicide Watch
If it's true that Will's got a bad feeling about the upcoming sports weekend, it's probably best that we monitor things, given the events of this past week. I mean, athletes are role models, and you never know how much influence a star wide receiver can have over an impressionable young blogger. N...
As Pink Taco Leaves, Leinart Arrives
As many of you know by know, the Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals, ignoring pleas from the unwashed masses, have sold the naming rights to their new stadium. And, as would be expected, it's the most idiotic name possible: The University Of Phoenix Stadium. The name is confusing — so they're i...
Our Teams: A Requiem In Three Acts
I. So now it can be written and known: The spinning, sprinting 12-yard sideaways rugby punts are not, in fact, a device that has come to revolutionize the sport of football. Sorry, Coach Zook. Our Illini very well might be the worst team in Division I-A, and we see no reason they wouldn't lose to Ne...
Perhaps Fergie Can Return Punts
They opened up the Pink Taco yesterday ... and the Black Eyed Peas welcomed a new member....
NFL Pants Party: NFC West
It's our division, the one our Buzzsaw was shipped to so they didn't have to travel to New Jersey, Texas and Pennsylvania every year. And we've (obviously) never won it. Someday ......
NFL Season Preview: Arizona Cardinals
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people paintin...
Matt Leinart Has Himself Some Swimmers
This is Matt Leinart. He is a rookie quarterback for The Buzzsaw That Is Arizona Cardinals, though he is perhaps better known for his career at the University of Southern California, where he won a Heisman trophy and 1.5 national championships....
We're Destroying The New Place Already
It's a new beginning for our beloved Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals, with a brand new attitude, brand new Paris Hilton-humping quarterback and, of course, brand new stadium. The Pink Taco Cardinals Stadium hosts its first official game a week from Sunday, but they're already holding events th...
New Buzzsaw Stadium Could Be Named After Female Genitalia
You might know that the Buzzsaw's new STATE OF THE ART football stadium currently is called "Cardinals Stadium," which, considering its lack of proper monetary compensation, is not a name that's likely to stick any longer than Bill Bidwell can cash a check....
New Home For The Buzzsaw Debuts
It has always been insane that the Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals, an NFL team, for crying out loud, has spent the last 16 years playing in a college team's stadium. Only the Buzzsaw would rent out a subpar Pac-10 team's field....
You Got Neil Rackers, Yo
All right, so we know this isn't real, and we know it's just an NFL promotional video (for a product we don't use; we prefer Yahoo for our all fantasy games, to be honest with you), but we still could not resist....
Go Toward The Light, Emmitt
You thought that finishing his career flat on the turf of Sun Devil Stadium was the most embarassing final image of all-time rushing champ Emmitt Smith one could come up with....
The Most Famous Buzzsaw Cheerleader
So here's the best story we've heard all day, even though it's only new to us. If any of you out there, like us, religiously watch "The Office" — we even watch the repeats — you're familiar with Phyllis, the portly saleswoman who knits and is happy in love with Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration....
Boy, This Busch Stadium Place Is Great
Five minutes before first pitch at 7:05 at Busch Stadium last night, all was well. We were sitting in the bleachers with our father and our fiancee, scorebook and four pens in hand, watching David Eckstein toss pop-ups with a kid who had won some contest. It was hot, but it had been hot all week, ...
Buzzsaw Asks Leinart To Tone It Down A Tad
You know, it's one thing to have only one playoff victory in 40 years, or to have a never hosted a playoff game in the nearly 20 years you've been in your new home....
Stop Snooping Into Matt Leinart's Life
Ah, Matt, Matt, Matt. What ever are we going to do with you? We know that life as a member of the Buzzsaw seems scary right now, that it feels like it's your last summer before you have to go back to boarding school .... but seriously, now....
Look! It's A Big Sheet Of NFL Lists!
Ordinarily we make fun of ESPN overkill around these parts, but we won't lie to you: We have absolute no problem with the network's around-the-clock, BREAKING NEWS, live live live! coverage of the release of the complete NFL schedule. If you're not around a TV, it's really something to watch; they...
Your Academic Champ: Bucknell
Goddammit, life would really be a lot easier if people would stop reminding us that the unpaid laborers running around in Nike-sponsored apparel (available at the campus bookstore!) making millions of dollars for Myles Brand, Billy Packer and bookies everywhere ... we wish people would stop remind...
Edgerrin James Signs Up For 4-12
The Arizona Cardinals - or as I'm mandated to call them, the Buzzsaw - have signed Edgerrin James to a four-year deal. Financial details aren't available, but I'm guessing it takes a hell of a lot of money to get a marquee player to sign in Arizona. It's the biggest splash the Cardinals have made...
Jake Plummer, Buzzsaw Soul Crusher
As we enter in to the biggest week of Denver quarterback Jake Plummer's life, leading up to the AFC Championship Game hosting the Pittsburgh Steelers, we feel obliged, as the only fans of The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals on the planet, to ask: How in the hell is this guy a game away from ...