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Drake Cuts Sweaty Promo About How Raptors Fans Are Really Good At Following The Rules
The Raptors beat the Milwaukee Bucks in Game 5 of the Eastern Conference Finals last night, and Drake, the Raptors’ rowdy uncle/human mascot, was not in the building. He was back home in Toronto, watching the game with thousands of Raptors fans in an outdoor square. He was so excited after the win t...

Raptors Defense Pushes Bucks To The Toilet's Edge In Game 5 Upset
The Milwaukee Bucks, the best team of the 2018–19 regular season and by far the best team through the first two rounds of the playoffs, find themselves in the deepest of caca following a 105–99 loss to the Toronto Raptors in Game 5 of the Eastern Conference Finals. The Bucks will have to stave off e...

Deadspin Up All Night: You're So Damn Dangerous
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Did Cal Ripken Jr. Sign This Painting Of An Oriole By John Wayne Gacy?
For those of you clamoring for the autographs of both a serial killer and a Baseball Hall of Famer, here’s a way to, well, kill two birds with one stone. You can buy this “original acrylic painting of an Oriole by John Wayne Gacy, which prominently features the autograph of Cal Ripken Jr.” for $9,99...

Knicks Say Kristaps Porzingis Demanded To Be Traded Or He'd Go Back To Europe
The most detailed tick-tock of the Jan. 31 trade that sent Kristaps Porzingis from the Knicks to the Mavericks revealed that it wasn’t nearly as sudden as it seemed, that Porzingis had expressed his disgruntlement with New York and that the Knicks front office had already tentatively discussed poten...

Drake Has Become The Rowdy Uncle Of The Raptors
“In the Six cooking with the wrist motion,” Drake rapped prophetically in 2015. “The Six” refers to Toronto’s area code. “Wrist motion” refers to the stress relief he offered Raptors coach Nick Nurse late in their Game 4 Eastern Conference Finals win....

Quit Smashing Giannis Into The Damn Wall Already
For a top-seeded team that rampaged through the regular season and the first two rounds of the playoffs at a nigh-historic level of dominance, the Milwaukee Bucks feature a dull-ass half-court offense. Often—dismally often—it’s just, well, this:...

Bryce Harper Got These Suckers Good
Bryce Harper, fresh off reminding the baseball world that he is indeed capable of throwing the damn dick off the ball, found himself in an interesting situation during last night’s game in Chicago. After catching a fly ball and recording the final out of the sixth inning, he heard pleas from the rig...

Fired-Up Raptors Thoroughly Flatten Bucks, Draw Even In Eastern Conference Finals
For the first time in this series and just the second time in these playoffs, the Milwaukee Bucks were roundly outclassed Tuesday night and fell convincingly, 120–102, to the Toronto Raptors to even up the Eastern Conference Finals. The Raptors grabbed a slim first-quarter lead and spent the rest of...

Deadspin Up All Night: When All The Lights Out
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Bryce Harper Can Still Throw The Dick Off A Damn Baseball
Bryce Harper’s hitting still mostly hasn’t come around. He’s socked a couple impressive dingers recently, but he’s still batting just .229 on the season after putting up another 0-fer Monday night against the Cubs. Ultimately it’ll be his plate production that determines whether the Phillies are get...

What's Left Of The Warriors Completes Sweep Of The Trail Blazers
The Golden State Warriors, minus Kevin Durant, minus DeMarcus Cousins, minus Andre Iguodala, completed a four-game sweep of the Portland Trail Blazers Monday night, overcoming another 17-point deficit, and another Meyers Leonard Game, and Draymond Green getting dunked through the planet and back out...

Tireless Steph Curry Helpfully Illustrates Seth Curry's Point
Seth Curry was careful to say the Warriors are “definitely not a better team” without Kevin Durant in their lineup—which, duh—but it is the younger Curry’s opinion that the Warriors do move the ball and themselves more, and more quickly, when they don’t have Durant around. Durant makes the Warriors ...

Deadspin Up All Night: Gimme The Keys Back
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Kevin Durant Has Logged On
The biggest downside—or upside, depending on your point of view—to Kevin Durant’s clearly unmild calf injury is that he has more time to spend online. He was already extremely online, even if you’re only counting his main and not his dozen burners, but injured Durant has extra time to contemplate hi...

Kawhi Leonard Is Doing Everything A Player Could Be Asked To Do
Kawhi Leonard is no longer the defensive marauder he once was, maybe because he’s been saddled with Jordanesque duties on the other side of the ball. The Raptors’ sludgy tar-pit offense leaves Leonard no possession to catch his breath. Almost every trip down the floor, he’s relied upon to create som...

It Is Time For The Steph Curry Seth Curry Power Rankings
Three games into the Western Conference Finals, it’s time to update the Steph Curry Seth Curry Power Rankings. Things are getting awfully tense as the Currys play hard against each other. Their mom Sonya Curry even skipped her pregame cocktail because of the stress of watching them compete. Talk abo...

Deadspin Up All Night: Don't Lie To Me
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This Is Probably As Likable As Draymond Green Is Ever Going To Get
The Golden State Warriors were able to overcome an 18-point deficit, and Meyers Leonard playing the game of his career, to take Game 3 from the Trail Blazers in Portland, 110-99. The defending champs now hold a historically insurmountable 3-0 series lead thanks to impressive performances from Steph ...