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Deadspin Up All Night: You'll Never Buy My Love<em></em>
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The Houston Texans Are Pure Frauds, No Matter Who's Playing Quarterback
Two interminable streaks were on the line today in Houston: the Texans’ unbroken history of playoff humiliations, and Deshaun Watson not having lost a game by more than one score since high school. The fragrance of ass that exudes from the Texans and Bill O’Brien was more powerful by far, as the Col...

ESPN Doesn't Appear To Know What Happened During The Civil War
In the latest example of why things from the internet should stay on the internet, the Monday Night Football crew decided to talk about their latest online discovery: the Capt. Andrew Luck twitter account. For those unfamiliar, the parody account features an avatar of Luck’s face over a Civil War ge...

This Is The Only Way The Texans Can Stop The Colts From Scoring
The Colts have a 21-0 lead and a ridiculous 20 first downs at halftime against the Texans, and it would likely be 35-0 if not for two plays. ...

Derrick Rose’s Bullshit Redemption Story Might Make Him An All-Star
Every year, the NBA releases the first round of All-Star Game fan voting as a way to drum up excitement for its yearly showcase of the best players in the league. This season’s first batch of voting holds few surprises; among the top vote-getters are LeBron James, Kyrie Irving, Steph Curry, and... ...

Come On, Kawhi Leonard Can't Blame The Media For This
Kawhi Leonard played in San Antonio last night for the first time since being traded from the Spurs to the Raptors, and he was booed heartily every time he touched the ball. The home crowd even whipped up enough bile to hit him with a “Traitor!” chant while he was shooting free throws. Leonard, some...

Alex Ovechkin Just Doesn't Stop
Somewhere along the way, Alex Ovechkin went from “holy shit, that guy can score” to “holy shit, that guy can still score” without even a hint of a drop-off in between. He’s 33 years old now, which is generally well past a forward’s prime, and it just doesn’t seem to matter. The only real difference ...

DeMar DeRozan Kicked The Raptors' Asses In A Sweet Revenge Game
Well that was decisive. The home crowd was bloodthirsty, the Spurs were aggressive as hell, and the Raptors were evidently not ready for all the intensity. Kawhi’s ballyhooed return to San Antonio was mostly a big old dud, and the Raptors were routed, by the score of 125–107....

“The only players in Basketball-Reference.com’s database with a usage rate that high and a true shooting percentage this low are Michael Jordan in his first season with the Wizards and Kobe Bryant in his farewell tour with the Lakers.” Dan Devine of The Ringer takes a look at Russell Westbrook’s put...

The Spurs And Their Fans Are Out For Blood
Spurs fans wasted no time ending the mystery of how Kawhi Leonard would be received in San Antonio in his first post-trade visit, booing the shit out of him every time he touched the ball during pregame warmups. The Spurs were reportedly on the fence about showing a Kawhi tribute video tonight, conc...

Deadspin Up All Night: Half And Half, Make Believe
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Deadspin Up All Night: Just In The Nick Of Time
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Disgusting Sneakerhead And Lovely Human Being Sam Woolley Is Leaving Us
Today is Sam Woolley’s last day at GMG; after six years of brilliantly illustrating across the network’s various sites as well as hosting the occasional Funbag and sharing the odd harrowing view into his personal care routine, he is now heading off into the hereafter. RIP Sam. Here’s how we’ll remem...

Kawhi Leonard Turned Off The Jazz
Kawhi Leonard buried the Jazz under the most assaultive offensive output of his career on Tuesday, hanging an alarmingly efficient 45 points on 16-of-22 shooting in a 122-116 win. The Raptor-for-now ascended to a higher plane in his 19-point third quarter, sinking every shot he attempted. He did all...

Your Favorite Baseball Team Can Afford Any Free Agent It Wants
The days are no longer getting shorter and darker, and began to bounce back in the right direction a few days before Christmas. There is still a lot of winter left, though, and given the way that the MLB offseason just kind of never got around to happening last year, it’s hard to know when things w...

Deadspin Up! All Night: Waiting For A New Year
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. We’re genuinely grateful for all of you; see you in 2019....

Report: Oh Dear God, The Titans Need Blaine Gabbert To Lead Them To The Playoffs
Here’s a report from ESPN’s Chris Mortensen that threatens to suck all the juice out of tonight’s matchup between the Colts and the Titans, the winner of which will advance to the playoffs while the loser goes home to cry. According to Mortensen, Titans starting quarterback Marcus Mariota is unlikel...

Deadspin Up All Night: I Wanna Be Emaciated
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Deadspin Up! All Night: Hang Your Brain Up In The Sky
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Please Stop Using Baseball To Describe Football
A home run has never happened in a football game, and yet home runs can be found all over writing about the sport, mainly when it comes to transactions. A new coach is a “home-run hire.” Wow! A team “hit a home run” with its draft picks. Okay!...