ap Page 1451 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Darren Sharper's "Penis Monitoring" Is Evil, Retrograde Bullshit
A casual observer might take note of Darren Sharper's pending plea agreement in rape charges spread across at least four years and four different states for any number of the obvious reasons—this is, after all, a case involving a former NFL All-Pro being revealed as a serial rapist. One of those rea...
Dipshit Mets Fan Throws Beer At Grady Sizemore
Here’s a dipshit Mets fan spending $12 in a futile attempt to disrupt Phillies right fielder Grady Sizemore from fielding a ball in the fourth inning at Citi Field today. Stop wasting beer, dipshit!...
Eduardo Galeano Has Died; Here Are Excerpts From His Classic Soccer Book
Eduardo Galeano, one of the most beloved writers to ever come from Uruguay and Latin America as a whole, has passed away today at the age of 74 after succumbing to cancer. Galeano was famous for writing about politics and history and war and economics. He also brought the same passion and knowledge ...
Who Will Be Healthy For The Western Conference Playoffs?
All season, we’ve been waiting for the Western Conference playoff bloodbath to start. Unfortunately, it’s looking like a lot of the blood has been spilled too early. ...
Mets Closer Jenrry Mejía Suspended 80 Games For Steroid Use
Jenrry Mejía, who became the Mets closer partway through last season after beginning the year as a starter, has been suspended 80 games for testing positive for stanozolol:...
Dzhokhar Tsarnaev Is Bad, And What He Did Was Bad
Earlier today, a reader sent us a complaint regarding the trial of Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, one of the two men who set off bombs at the Boston Marathon in 2013. He believed we were lacking in the coverage of Tsarnaev’s trial, and that we did not denounce his acts enough. Here’s his email, in full:...
The NBA Players' Union Isn't Happy With The NYPD
We’ll probably never know exactly why NYPD officers felt it necessary to arrest Hawks guard Thabo Sefolosha outside of 1 Oak early Wednesday morning—the cops claim that they arrested Sefolosha after telling him six times to leave the scene of Pacers forward Chris Copeland’s stabbing—but we do know t...
No, But Seriously, Dove Soap Is Bad
So yesterday, BuzzFeed's editors, in a super duper blatant breach of the tenets of their Editorial Standards And Ethics Guide, deleted a post in which staff writer Arabelle Sicardi criticized toiletries brand Dove for its sleazy, exploitative advertising. Dove, you see, is owned by Unilever—the m...
Darren Sharper May Be Subject To Penis Monitoring Until He Dies
Convicted rapist Darren Sharper will serve nine years in prison for his crimes, but he won’t return to a regular life after he finishes his sentence. If two New Orleans judges approve the deal instead of issuing a 20-year sentence in Louisiana, Sharper will be treated as a sex offender, and closely ...
Florida Gators Wide Receiver Charged With Dating Violence
The Gainesville Sun reported today that University of Florida wide receiver Chris Thompson was charged last week with “misdemeanor simple battery/dating violence.” The charge concerns an argument Thompson had with an ex-girlfriend over text messages:...
Report: Troy Polamalu Has Revelation In Church, Retires
According to the Uniontown, Pa. Herald-Standard, Pittsburgh Steelers safety Troy Polamalu called owner Dan Rooney last night and retired. Polamalu missed four games due to injury last season, his 12th, and there were reports last month that the Steelers didn’t want Polamalu back, and hoped he would...
Feisty Bert Blyleven Trashes Detroit
While today’s Twins-Tigers game was in a rain delay, former Twins pitcher and current analyst Bert Blyleven updated his Twitter followers with photos of the field, and took some cracks at Detroit’s expense in the process....
Reports: Thabo Sefolosha Broke Ankle While Resisting Arrest
Atlanta Hawks players Pero Antic and Thabo Sefolosha were both arrested for obstructing police and disorderly conduct after Indiana’s Chris Copeland was stabbed at a New York City nightclub early Wednesday morning. Now, multiple reports claim that Sefolosha broke his ankle during the incident, and ...
Kendall Gill Remembers How He Learned Not To Trash Talk Michael Jordan
It’s kind of crazy that we’re still hearing new stories about Michael Jordan’s famously hyper-competitive streak this far past his playing career. Today, Kendall Gill posted a video of one particular incident when MJ got his revenge on him and Alonzo Mourning after the young ‘uns had the audacity t...
Boston News Station In Trouble For Following Hernandez Jurors Around
If you’re covering a murder trial for a local news station, the last thing you should do is try to follow one of the jurors home. If you just can’t help yourself, though, you should definitely do so in a vehicle that is not a gigantic, conspicuous news van that has your station’s name painted all ov...
Jonathan Papelbon Talks Horses And Dick-Sucking Holes
Whenever the Red Sox and Phillies play, someone sticks a recorder in Jonathan Papelbon’s face and uses his thoughts on both teams as an angle to get through the series. (Shane Victorino just isn’t as brash.) Before Wednesday’s game, the Phillies closer was direct to the Boston Globe about his conne...
Bad Company Man Jeff Van Gundy Brings Up Augusta's Discrimination
Beginning tomorrow, ESPN will broadcast the first two rounds of the Masters at Augusta National Golf Club, so during tonight’s NBA contest they ran a little promo for it. Unfortunately for ESPN and the Masters, play-by-play man Mike Breen went off-script and imagined a world in which Jeff Van Gundy...
God Save Queens Park Rangers, The Most Fun Bad Team In The EPL
QPR aren't very good. In fact, they're quite terrible. They have the Premier League's second-worst points-per-game rate, have given up by far the most goals, and look generally incompetent performing many of the duties usually required of an EPL-quality club. But goddammit if they aren't the most ...
Cubs Postpone Game On Account Of Rain; Rain Doesn't Show Up
After a disastrous opening night that saw fans peeing in cups to avoid enormous lines for the bathroom, the Cubs hauled in portable toilets in an effort to remedy the situation for future games. They didn’t get to try them out, however, because the club skipped their second game Tuesday night, post...
How Did Darren Sharper Avoid Arrest For So Long?
ProPublica, Sports Illustrated, and The New Orleans Advocate teamed up to produce a thoroughly reported story seeking to explain how exactly former NFL player Darren Sharper was able to avoid getting arrested for years despite being accused of rape multiple times. The whole story is worth a read, b...