ap Page 1684 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jamie Moyer Has The Oldest Grudges In Major League Baseball, Too
Nobody survives till age 49 in the major leagues without making enemies. Hence Jamie Moyer's dustup with whippersnapper Chipper Jones this weekend. And before that, the middle-aged mushballer talked to Westword for a feature story. In one of the outtakes, he explained that he had come close to signi...

Key Witness In Jerry Sandusky Case Is Worst Witness Ever
Mike McQueary is creating quite a shitshow. McQueary, a former Penn State assistant football coach, provided the testimony that led to perjury charges against two university officials, which, in turn led to the firing of Joe Paterno. Last November, less than two weeks after the grand jury issued its...

Nick Young's Shirt Is Proof The Mayans Were Right About 2012
The Clippers' Nick Young entered Staples Center last night clad in what appears to be a fortune teller's tablecloth turned into a shirt, except there wasn't enough fabric and they had to patch in some denim....
!["Now Get Lost And Stay Lost": Introducing Crap Emails From A Sportswriter [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17lxhqrz8d7vjpng.png)
"Now Get Lost And Stay Lost": Introducing Crap Emails From A Sportswriter [UPDATED]
Ever email your constructive criticism to a sportswriter, only to receive a crappy, needlessly hostile response? Forward the emails to us at [email protected], subject: Crap Emails....

55-Year-Old Grandmother Tries Out For The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders
Back in February, Sharon Simmons, a 55-year-old grandmother of two from Carrollton, Texas, announced she would be trying out to become a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader. She's spent the last months training, working on routines with a professional dance coach. On Saturday, she joined hundreds of other wo...

Better Know An Umpire: Jim Reynolds
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...
![Cole Hamels Broke Only One Of Baseball's Unwritten Rules [UPDATE: And Now He's Suspended]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17luvdcne9zirjpg.jpg)
Cole Hamels Broke Only One Of Baseball's Unwritten Rules [UPDATE: And Now He's Suspended]
Much has been made of young Bryce Harper's first few days in the majors. He has a cannon for an arm. He gets on base. He makes good with the locals. He steals home. And now he's caused the Phillies' Cole Hamels to pull off what Nationals GM Mike Rizzo considers the most "classless, gutless chickens...

Chris Davis Is A Better Closer Than Heath Bell
On Saturday, after Marlins closer Heath Bell had blown his fourth save of the season on Friday night, Ozzie Guillen demoted him to a setup role....

Here's Warren Buffett Swinging A Ridiculous, Supersize Ping-Pong Paddle
I don't want to know why Warren Buffett, who is worth $44 billion, is using this ginormous ping pong paddle during yesterday's annual stockholder's meeting of Berkshire Hathaway, because I'm sure whatever explanation is behind this gem of a photo won't nearly come close to meeting my expectations. S...

The Story Of The 40 Phillies Fans Who Took A Bus To Nationals Park (And The 38 Who Returned)
There's a smoking section near the first-base gate of Nationals Park. On Saturday, it hosted a mixed batch of fans. You could tell who was whom by the lettering on their red-and-white gear....

Kerry Wood's 20-Strikeout Game Was More Impressive Than Either By Roger Clemens
The latest work from our old friend and baseball infographic expert Craig Robinson delves into the exclusive 20-strikeout, complete-game club, of which there are just three instances comprised of two members. (Sorry, Randy Johnson.) Looking at Robinson's visual interpretation of all three games, as ...

Olympic Officials Ban Outside Bottled Water, Will Confiscate Any "Excessive Food"
Of course, London Olympic officials want patrons to enjoy their time this summer at the Games, but they also want them to pay for every single amenity imaginable. To that end, organizers have banned fans from bringing in any bottled water and will also confiscate large amounts of food....

Nats GM Says "Fake-Tough" Cole Hamels "Doesn't Know Who He's Dealing With"
Cole Hamels admitted late last night that he threw at Nats wunderkind Bryce Harper in the first inning of Sunday's game, and the fallout's coming fast and steady....

Police Identify Kentucky Derby Murder Victim, Believe He Was Killed After "Altercation"
Louisville police briefed the media this morning on the shocking news that a horse groom was murdered at Churchill Downs following the Kentucky Derby. Lt. Barry Wilkerson of the Louisville Metro Police Department just wrapped up a 20-minute press conference and gave a clearer picture of what went do...

"Here's Our Resident Nerd, Picking His Nose"
The backlash against advanced statistics in baseball by so-called "purists" can get tiresome, but there's no denying a few of the stereotypes about those dealing in the numbers game sometimes hold true. Here's a shot of Astros Director of Decision Sciences (seriously, that's his job title) Sig Mejd...

Cole Hamels Says He Threw At Bryce Harper
Phillies-Nats, earlier tonight: Cole Hamels drilled Bryce Harper with two outs in the first. Harper then stole home, so joke was on Cole. But none of that would matter much, since Nats starter Jordan Zimmermann buckled in the fourth, and the Phillies won 9-3....

Now Bryce Harper Has Started Stealing Home
As if the young man needed to do even more audacious things, Nationals rookie sensation Bryce Harper stole home during a Cole Hamels pickoff attempt in the first inning of tonight's game against the Phillies. Some balls this guy has! (That is just an assumption that as a professional baseball playe...

Amar'e Stoudemire To Start For Knicks In Game 4 Against Miami Heat
Less than a week after "half his hand was just hanging off" Amar'e will start for the Knicks today in what will most likely be New York's final game of the season....

Mark Grace Helpfully Used The Telestrator To Inform Diamondbacks Fans About Technical Difficulties
Faced with an audio problem during today's D'Backs-Mets broadcast on Fox Sports Arizona, analyst Mark Grace took matters into his own hands—literally—by using the telestrator to let viewers know why they weren't hearing anything. ...

Eli Manning Has A Banana For A Penis
Eli Manning's appearance hosting Saturday Night Live last night was passable, lacking any real groaner moments but nothing especially memorable, either. Well, except for Manningbananapenis....