ap Page 1719 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Soccer Analysts Find Many, Many Ways To Call The Japanese Short
On Sunday, the US Women take on Japan in the Women's World Cup Final. It will be a "tall order" for the Japanese, who have a "height disadvantage." Nay, a "major size disadvantage." The "small Japanese" will "lack height" against the Americans. But despite a match pitting "the smaller Japanese again...

The 100 Worst Baseball Players Of All Time: A Celebration (Part 2)
Here's the second part of the roundup of baseball's low achievers. Part 1 is here....

We Hereby Nominate Abby Wambach For U.S. Ambassador Of Headers And Beautiful Goals
The U.S. women's national team advanced to the World Cup final today with a 3-1 win over France. Les Bleues tied it up early in the second half, and looked more energized and aggressive than the Americans, up until Pia Sundhage subbed in Megan Rapinoe (a proven tactic by now) and until Abby Wambac...

Ryan Howard's RBI Total Does Not Make Him The Greatest Baseball Player In The Universe, Bill Conlin
Bill Conlin wrote something dumb today. In other news, the sun rose in the east. But we're not going to go after Bill Conlin, because it's been done. Instead we're going to try and put in the simplest terms possible why he and anyone else rejecting advanced statistics out of hand are being willfully...

The 100 Worst Baseball Players Of All Time: A Celebration (Part 1)
This is a celebration. I realize that sounds strange—compiling a list of the worst of something doesn't seem like a joyous occasion. But by worst 100 baseball players I don't just mean the objective worst, the statistical worst, the most physically discomforting to watch. I mean the players whose fa...

The First Casualty Of Dan Snyder's Dumbass Libel Suit Might Be Dan Snyder's Dumbass Lawyer
Failed journalist and wretched lawyer Dave Donovan announced today that he's leaving his job as Chief Operating Officer of the Redskins to return to the law firm whence he came (and where, ostensibly, lawyers can actually convince clients not to file dumbass lawsuits). Donovan attributes his decisio...

Look Ma, No Bra: The Women's World Cup Grows Up With Rapinoe To Wambach
When Brandi Chastain scored the fifth and final penalty kick in the 1999 Women's World Cup to defeat China, I was sitting in front of more big-screen televisions than I'd ever seen before at the Bowl-O-Rama restaurant in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, and I was almost eleven years old. After it was over...

Derek Jeter's Fluky 3,000th Hit: An Appreciation
Going by his career norms, Jeter's 3,000th hit shouldn't have been a home run. He shouldn't have had the best offensive day of his life. It was a coincidence. That is far from a knock on the Captain; it's a criticism of the people who think it is possible for a player like that to exist. He treats e...

This Is How You Rebound After Almost Getting Eliminated From The Women's World Cup On A Questionable Call (Updated With Gus Johnson Call)
The #USWNT just defeated Brazil in penalty kicks in the Women's World Cup quarterfinals. Much will be written about this game, even if women's soccer isn't a sport that much generally gets written about. My contribution? Abby Wambach's goal just felt more remarkable — poetic, even — than Landon Do...

Watch The Goal That Clinched Japan's Remarkable Upset Of Germany In The Women's World Cup
Germany was hoping to win its third consecutive Women's World Cup and had home-pitch advantage to do so. Alas, Karina Maruyama of Japan's extra-time goal in the 108th minute relegated them to also-ran status. Japan advances to the World Cup semifinals, where they'll face the winner of tomorrow's S...

This Is Your Leg. This Is Your Leg On Cycling.
The human body was never designed to complete something like the Tour de France, let alone 15 of them. George Hincapie, best known as the longtime wingman/minion of Lance Armstrong, now sports a gnarly leg in the original sense of the word....

Here's Your Commemorative Keepsake Poster Of The Sun Pornographically Manipulating A Thermometer
In consulting with the National Weather Service and American Red Cross, two USA Today graphic artists apparently found a way to illustrate the dangerous dog-days of summer as a sun blowing and tightly gripping a thermomedong....

A Magical Infographical Tour Through Baseball
Englishman Craig Robinson runs the excellent Flip Flop Fly Ball site, which has, for some time, provided us with infographics much more stunning than those you'd find in USA Today. And now the powers that be have wisely published a collection of those infographics. You can find a few below, but you'...

Cowboys Partner With Marvel Entertainment, Nation's Superheroes Become Unreliable Choke Artists
We saw yesterday that no lockout could thwart a spirited Cowboy staff game of beach football. Now we learn that Cowboys brass is still wheeling and dealing, signing a deal to co-brand some garish shirts with Marvel Entertainment, the kind of garment you expect to see on kids walking barefoot behind ...

Kobayashi Somehow Sets A New, Totally Unofficial Hot Dog Eating Record
With the Empire State Building as a backdrop and a drag queen named Mimi Imfurst cracking jokes about stuffing wieners into Anderson Cooper's mouth, Takeru Kobayashi executed an improbably perfect "up yours" to the Nathan's hot dog eating contest, from which he's been barred over a long-running cont...

The Lonesome Independence Day Of Kobayashi, Eater In Exile
On a May evening, in a cramped biergarten behind a German restaurant off the Bowery in Manhattan, Takeru Kobayashi sat down to a plate of Rheinischer Sauerbraten mit Kartoffelklößen und Rotkraut. First, he produced a small camera and began photographing the sauerbraten for his blog, where he catalog...

THE ELUSIVE GREAT ADVENTURE BABOON HAS BEEN CAPTURED! NEW JERSEY IS SAFE!
The Star-Ledger and others are reporting that a runaway baboon from the Six Flags amusement-park safari in Jackson, NJ was tranquilized and taken into custody around 2:40 p.m. after three days on the lam....

Asafa Powell Beats The Clock, In Lieu Of Beating Usain Bolt
Asafa Powell, the 100-meter world record holder of the pre-Usain Bolt era, claimed the title of Fastest Man in the World, This Year, So Far by running a 9.78 yesterday in Lausanne, Switzerland. That beats the 9.79 that Tyson Gay ran in early June in Clermont, Florida, before Gay dropped off the circ...

The Payoff For Sticking Around To Watch A Pretty Cool Shot From Wimbledon Is A Whole Lot Of Grunting
Here's video from when Victoria Azarenka faced Tamira Paszek in the Wimbledon quarterfinals a couple days back. A quick check confirmed that a) Victoria Azarenka and Tamira Paszek are really the names of two tennis players, b) Azarenka won 1 and 3, and c) the Gruntin' Belarusian lost to Petra Kvit...
