ap Page 1721 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Why We Shouldn't Blame Roberto "LeBrongo"
More people than ever before watched game seven of the Stanley Cup finals Wednesday night, and that's a good thing for hockey. Both the league and fans hoping for growth should delight that the NHL had its best American TV rating in 38 years even though one of the teams came from Canada....

Cock-Sucking Son Of A Bitch MLB Players Were Warned About Swearing, Those Cunt-Lapping Bastards
As part of an 1898 campaign to curb the use of foul language in baseball, this memo was purportedly sent to every team. It stands as a fascinating record of Gay Nineties profanity, which doesn't actually sound outdated at all....

Now LeBron Is Insulting Your Intelligence, Too
LeBron James "clarified" his postgame comments about how people who rooted against him were losers with "personal problems"—that is, he shied away from his own quote as if it were a wide-open clutch-time three-point opportunity:...

Today In Very Canadian Headlines
Toronto's CTV News gives a generous headline to the original AP story: Mavericks win NBA title, knock off Bosh's Heat 105-95. [CTV; H/T Fark]...

What It's Like Being The Only Drunk One At The Frenzied Malaysian Soccer Cup
The 2011 Malaysia FA Cup played its championship game yesterday—Terengganu FA defeated Kelantan FA, 2-1, and Cyrus_the_Virus, who says he was the drunkest person out of 80,000 spectators (Malaysia is a Muslim nation), was on hand for the sights and sounds, a stranger in a strange land....

Watch Eric Hassli's MLS Goal Of The Year
One might wonder, the first time one sees hockey or soccer, why the players don't bank goals in off the post at all times—the goalies can never save them. Here's one of the prettiest examples you'll ever see, from Eric Hassli of the Vancouver Whitecaps. From outside the penalty box, on a quick rec...

Joe Buck Is Not Announcing Phillies Game Today, But The Fans Still Hate Him
This comes via Hickey (the photographer is @roscocosmopeco), your usual weekend landlord, whose Twitter pal is rocking this shirt at today's Cubs-Phillies affair. The only problem is that Kenny Albert, not Buck, is announcing the national game for Fox....

Miami Heat Encourages Season Ticket Holders To Actually Be Fans Of Their Team
An anonymous tipster, who swears against having any actual association with the Miami Heat, sent along an email the team had sent out to its season ticket holders this afternoon in preparation for "THE SINGLE BIGGEST HOME GAME IN THE HISTORY OF THE FRANCHISE!"...

Alex Ovechkin's Summer Diet: Hookah, Beers, And Fried Steak
There's nothing illegal or even wrong with what Ovechkin's doing here—nonetheless, one must wonder how perhaps the best athlete in the NHL stays in shape doing this....

Charles Barkley: "Miami Has The Worst Fans"
Charles Barkley continued his righteous public crusade against all things Miami Heat today, when he spoke to the "Waddle & Silvy Show" on ESPN 1000. Nothing revolutionary here, just the special vindication that comes with hearing someone with a national audience say things that said audience has b...

Iran Hosts The Date Rapiest Marathon Of The Year
Barring, of course, the final police report on Bay To Breakers....

JJ Barea's Sprite Ad In Puerto Rico Takes A Shot At El Ego De Kobe
There's a strange inter-endorsement battle taking place across the ocean on a billboard in Puerto Rico, where Sprite spokesman JJ Barea is quoted taking a shot at fellow Sprite spokesman Kobe Bryant. This sign, originally dug up by Bethlehem Shoals, translates to, "Only my ribs hurt, but for Kobe, i...

LeBron James And The Mistaken Case Of The Shrinking Superstar
In last night's post-game press conference, CBS Sports controversialist Gregg Doyel took the mic and asked LeBron James about his fourth quarter performances in the postseason. The fourth quarter, Doyel suggested, is when "superstars become superstars" (a confusing idea of evolution in itself), an...

Phillies Backup Catcher Has Contemplative Moment Facedown On Pittsburgh Bar
Journeyman catcher Dane Sardinha was seen decompressing like a champion at August Henry's early Sunday morning, which is typical behavior after anyone is forced to backstop a Kyle Kendrick emergency start. Even though Sardinha went hitless in the Phillies loss to the Pirates, he probably made solid...

Mavericks Fan Sitting Behind George Lopez Speaks For All America
Your morning roundup for June 6, the day we learned the value of Bernie Madoff's underwear. H/T @bubbaprog, proprietor of mocksession.com, for accurately predicting what might tickle us this morning (and others for sending in their own grabs)....

Vancouver Announcers Have Different Opinion About Taunt By Vancouver Player, Believe It Or Not
The hubbub over Alex Burrows' biting Patrice Bergeron's finger in Game 1 intensified when the not-suspended Burrows scored two goals in the next game, including the game-winner. Max Lapierre didn't exactly help the cause when he offered Bergeron his own digit as compensation. "Have a bite! There's...

There's No Question That Dirk Nowitzki's Fickle Fingers Are Getting ESPN Hot And Bothered
A legion of tipsters have dutifully sent in one of two screengrabs from ESPN's homepage this evening. As you can well see, one references fingering while the other goes down the perilous tip-insertion road....

Watch The Five Greatest NBA Finals Moments, As Performed By Legos
Tauntr has done the Lord's work. Now, if only someone could make a Playmobil version of the WNBA Finals' highlights. [Tauntr]...

Dan Snyder Subpoenas Washington Post Blogger For Linking To Washington City Paper Story
Oops, we almost forgot to post our daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be linking to until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit takes a Ceti Eel in the ear....

Jimmer Will Be A Great NBA Player If You Let Him Shoot From 20 Feet Without Anyone Guarding Him
Jimmer Fredette, who is perhaps the ideal Indiana Pacer, had a pre-draft workout in Indianapolis today, and Pacers announcer Michael Grady took footage of his shoot-around. Behold the Jimmer, taking and making 15 straight set shots from behind the arc, then buckling just slightly, and closing out ...