ap Page 1722 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jim Tressel Is The Symptom, Not The Disease
I don't mean to interrupt the national barbecuing of Jim Tressel, which I'm enjoying as much as the next guy, but there are three kinds of hypocrisy in play here, and at this point it's hard not to see Tressel's as the least of the bunch, and almost noble in its own weird way. ...

Rampage Jackson Comes Very Close To Motorboating This Reporter
On Saturday, Rampage Jackson decisioned Matt Hamill in the main event of a UFC card that nobody cared about. After the fight, Jackson was his typical charming, wanton self. Here's an interview he did with Karyn Bryant of MMA Heat in which Jackson all but ravages her at the press-conference podium....

Being Captain Of The Saint John Sea Dogs Does Not Entitle You To Spit In Memorial Cup, But Watch This Guy Do It Anyway (UPDATE: ?)
Your morning roundup for May 30, Memorial Day, the day we learned the Groupon Voice. Video via tipster Brent, who writes (with a French BlackBerry signature appended!), "Watch beardo spit into the Memorial Cup. His teammates will be drinking out of it. Fucking gross."...

To Minnesota Weatherman, A Tornado Warning Was More Important Than Angry Calls From Soccer Fans
Here's what tipster B. Hurley sent in to explain why soccer fans in the Greater Twin Cities region are so pissed off at their local Fox affiliate's "meteorologist" for interfering with the UEFA Champions League final yesterday:...

Watch JR Hildebrand Lose The Indy 500 By Crashing On The Final Turn
The history book will show that Dan Wheldon won the 100th Indianapolis 500. The replay shows that he didn't so much win it as rookie JR Hildebrand lost it in ridiculously tire-breaking fashion....

Your Indianapolis 500 Open Thread
Grand Marshal Anderson Cooper and the Indianapolis 500 Festival Princesses drew much attention on the red carpet outside the Snake Pit Ball. Jim Nabors, REO Speedwagon and the Chinese brought happiness to those attending the IPL 500 Festival Parade. Plus, there's a fancy car race today....

FC Barcelona Proved They Were The Best Team In All Of Professional Sports Yesterday
Your morning roundup for May 29, the day Roger Ebert inexplicably gave two thumbs down to those who blatantly allowed two eyes to check out two foreign boobs....

Hockey Player Misses Five Minutes Of Game Time With Broken Face, Returns In Time For Season-Losing Goal
Your morning roundup for May 29, the day after death told the world that the puffy-faced Grandma Bandit was actually a man....

The Heat Wax The East, And Deep Down We Love It
Last night, the Miami Heat ended the Eastern Conference Finals with a 19-4 run in under four minutes to beat the Chicago Bulls in five games. If you were fortunate or unfortunate enough — I haven't decided which it is for me — to have watched the entire game, then you would have witnessed equal part...

Nike Reportedly Tells Charles Barkley To Leave LeBron James Alone
Chuck has been saying whatever he damn well wants to say on television for some time now, and he has a special talent for always getting away with it. He's generally loved, and TNT has a different policy for its commentators than, say, ESPN, which would have suspended him approximately 74 times by n...

The Miami Heat Appear To Have Messed Up the <em>Gears of War 3</em> Hype Train
LeBron James, first you upset the people of Cleveland by abandoning their basketball team. Now you've helped the Miami Heat beat the Chicago Bulls in five games, closing the series out last night with an 83-80 victory. That means there's… [Kotaku] ...

Joakim Noah Taps Into America's Rage By Calling The Heat "Hollywood As Hell"
Joakim Noah, who sat on the bench for much of the second half as Kurt Thomas tried to be the hero, pulled off the delicate skill of framing an absolute dis within a compliment last night. Kenny, Chuck, and Ernie are almost always this tickled with the world, but with this giggly reaction I get the...

Your Bulls/Heat Game Five Open Thread
If there's an element of Chicago Bulls fandom that thinks tonight could be the season's end, Mare Bear is not among them. And who knows, maybe she's right. Because if the LeBrons have shown the world one thing this offseason, it's that they're a .500 team on the road....

We Are All Dave McKenna CXI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit runs out of ways to die in this space....

47 Of Maria Sharapova's Grunts In Her Second-Round French Open Win
Maria Sharapova faced Caroline Garcia, a 17-year-old French up-and-comer, in the second round of the French Open today. Garcia took the first set and led 4-1 until midway through the second, when Sharapova took 11 straight games to win, 3-6, 6-4, 6-0. Sharapova's known for her grunting, of course;...

Jason Kidd Recorded A Rap Song, "What The Kidd Did," After The Kidd Did College
Jason Kidd recorded this song for a 1994 album called B-Ball's Best Kept Secret, a title that sounds as bad as the idea itself (one unspoken rule about basketball is that thou shalt never refer to it as "b-ball" with a straight face). The collection paired NBA players with producers and rappers to...

Phillies Infielder Throws 10-Pitch 19th Inning To Close Out Joey Votto And The Reds
Your morning roundup for May 26, the day after Disney realized that it probably wasn't the best of ideas to trademark American heroes for profit....

Your Thunder/Mavericks Game Five Open Thread
It's quite simple: The Oklahoma City Thunder have to win in Dallas tonight, then at home on Friday night and then again in Dallas on Sunday night or the Oklahoma City Thunder's season is over. Whenever it happens, maybe that's when somebody can explain who at The Oklahoman newspaper decided to run ...

Revisiting The Great LeBron James Cocksucker Debate
here's a decent chance that at some point in the past 24 hours — perhaps when he did a little shimmy on the floor after drawing a late offensive foul, or when he began yapping demonstratively at the Less Than Zero extras in the stands, or when he passive-aggressively referred to Derrick Rose as "MVP...

LeBron James Is Friends With Drake. Of Course He Is.
Drake, the child star-turned-hashtag-rapper who would have you believe that his last name is Ever and his first name is Greatest, has been sitting courtside at a lot of Miami Heat games this postseason. This is partly because he is rich and lives in Miami, and thus needs to be photographed doing ric...