at Page 2395 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
To Watch Tonight ...
What to do tonight instead of feigning interest in your family. Game 5: Dallas Mavericks at Phoenix Suns: This game won't end until after 1 a.m. on the East Coast. ER doctors and 7-Eleven clerks will be talking about this one for days. Texas Rangers at Chicago White Sox: Until now we knew the White...
Congressional Steroids Diary: My God, There's More Hearing Tomorrow
1:28 p.m.: Sonny Bono s widow is telling Donald Fehr a story about a high school student she knows who was so strong that he pulled his finger off while swinging a bat. That actually just occurred, right? Might have been a mass hallucination....
SI.com's Tortured Crawl Toward Relevance
Poor SI.com. Two years ago, ESPN.com's Page 2 took them so far by surprise that by the time they realized what had happened, Page 2 had already become stale and boring. (Except for you, Bill! We love you, Bill!) The undignified pant continues with a Sports and Star Wars: The Connection, a sad, tired...
Congressional Steroids Diary: Limping, Bleeding Into The Afternoon
11:26 a.m.: Say what you will about the guy, but Don Fehr is no wuss. He just went through each point of the proposed anti-steroid bill and trashed pretty much all of them. Fortunately, he was followed by the commissioner of a league that doesn t really exist right now, so no one will remember....
Congressional Steroids Diary: The First Hour
10:10 a.m.: Representative Cliff Stearns (R-Fla.) says that sports values performance more than character. No!...
Congress Notices Nose on Face And The Sky (Occassionally)
Ha. We can't believe we missed this. In addition to the five "major" sport commissioners and various labor heads testifying before Congress, the Greatest Legislators and Orators of Our Time has also called ... Washington Wizards guard Juan Dixon....
Exercises In Immolation
We're going to try something today that pretty much proves definitively that we don't like ourselves very much. At 10 a.m., Congress is having yet another Session On Steroids. Instead of just baseball being under the hot lights of elderly Southern men's inquiries, the commissioners of all five "m...
About Last Night ...
What You Missed While Fishing The Remote Out Of The Koi Pond ... Pistons Go Up 3-2 Against Pacers. Scoring 67 points in the first half, Indiana went on to ... wait ... 67 points for the game? The fat fan who tried to slug Ron Artest suits up for Pacers in Game 6. Yankees Win 10th Straight. Jason Gia...
To Watch Tonight
What To Do Tonight Instead of Interacting With Other Humans Game 5: Indiana Pacers at Detroit Pistons. Seriously, guys, just get in fight. Honestly. We don't mind. Be our guest. Game 5: Seattle Supersonics at San Antonio Spurs. Ray Allen looks to top that sex scene in He Got Game. Though that would ...
Romanowski Admits To 'Roiding: Earth Shakes
It has come to this: People are admitting to taking steroids in order to promote a movie. Bill Romanowski, in an interview with The Rocky Mountain News, shocks absolutely no one by confessing to using steroids. His quote: "It wasn't about illegal. I was doing things that they couldn't test for. As s...
"We Went To The Super Bowl. Uh, Flip Card. Daunte Speaks Next."
We know you're watching the George Lopez Show anyway, so we shouldn't need to tell you this, but if you're in the mood for pained line readings and rapidly declining hairlines, Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb and Vikings quarterback Daunte Culpepper are guest starring on the season (though, sadly,...
Is Barry Zito Gay?
Our friends at OutSports.com have posted a cartoon about media reaction to gay athletes, asking whether or not A's lefthander Barry Zito is gay. Of all the homophobia that's rampant in sports, we've always wondered what A's general manager Billy Beane thinks about it all. After all, he shares the sa...
Bud Selig Is JACKED UP!
We can't quite break with the new windmill-tilting conventional wisdom that Bud Selig is secretly a great commissioner. He still seems more like Jack Lemmon's Shelly "the Machine" Levine to us; a sad old salesman who has himself in over his head. But he's starting to get some good press — finally — ...
Rex Chapman's Jungle Fever
Rex Chapman was always one of our favorite NBA players. The guy couldn't play defense, couldn't pass and was, sadly, too white to disguise rapid baldness with a shaved head. But he could shoot, and basketball is always more fun when people can shoot. And now, thanks to a set of recent of interviews,...
About Last Night ...
What You Missed While Trying To Figure Out If Ray Romano Is Actually Older Than Peter Boyle ... Yankees Win Ninth Straight. Corpose of Bernie Williams hits a grand slam and, somehow, makes his own way all around the bases. Padres Move Into Tie For First. Somehow, Julio Franco stole a base. Seriously...
THE Ohio State University
You know you're having a rough week when your kicker is busted for selling weed. Jonathan Skeete, a freshman kicker for Ohio State, was busted late last week for selling a half pound of marijuana to an undercover officer, according to the Ohio State student newspaper, The Lantern (good job, kids!). ...
To Watch Tonight
What To Do Tonight Instead of Interacting With Other Humans Texas Rangers at Chicago White Sox. ESPN's Game of the Night, with Orlando Hernandez, who escaped Cuba, facing Chan Ho Park, whom Texas would love to go back to Korea. Atlanta Braves at San Diego PadresOffensive Native American mascot battl...
USA Today Keeps Its Finger On The Pulse
Lots of hot topics in sports news these days: Steroids. Amphetamines. Racism in the NBA. That thing on Scoop Jackson's lip. But USA Today is keeping us abreast of the hot issues: Native American mascots! The nation's best-selling hotel doormat rips the lid off the Massive, Late-Breaking Controversy....
Nate Newton: Overachiever
We always loved Nate Newton. Frankly, it's impossible not to like the former Cowboys defensive lineman. This is a guy who, in November 2001, was busted for carting 213 pounds of marijuana. He met bond, and six months later, he was arrest for the same offense, this time with a mere 175 pounds. He spe...
Goodbye, Raymond
As you might have heard, tonight is the last night for "Everybody Loves Raymond," a television show that apparently is watched by a lot of people, though nobody we know. It's easy to forget — what, with all the hijinks and wacky misadventures — that the character of Raymond is supposed to be a sport...