at Page 2395 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after your reign of mini-donut terror is ended ... • NBA: Eastern Conference semifinals, Game 5, Orlando at Detroit (7 p.m., ET); Western Conference semifinals, Game 6, San Antonio at New Orleans (9:30 p.m., ET). This had better not interfere with the latest episode of Charmed. [TNT] •...

Examining The Procreation Habits Of The Modern Day Athlete For Fun
You've probably asked yourself a million times, "I wish there was a blog out there that would let me know how how Shawn Kemp Jr. Jr. Jr.'s doing or give me updates on Darren McFadden's paternity suit situation."...

Media Approval Ratings: Emmitt Smith
We're not sure if Emmitt Smith is going to lose any face time on ESPN now that Cris Carter is hanging around ... but we have our suspicions. Heck, they didn't even let Emmitt be a part of the draft coverage....

Ah, The Cultural Rewards Of Major League Baseball
The life of a Japanese player, when assimilated into a Major League Baseball clubhouse, can be difficult. You have to learn parts of other languages, deal with cultural differences you hadn't anticipated and, mostly, deal with the odd duck that is Jonathan Papelbon....

Jeopardy! Attempts To Both Humanize And Humiliate Matt Leinart
This question was featured last week as part of Jeopardy!'s "College Championship" week. Does this mean that the photo of Matt Leinart beer-bonging his way to infamy has reached a certain level of news relevancy?...

To Watch Tonight
What you missed while riding the giant NSFW mechanical bucking penis ... • Arena Football: Philadelphia at Georgia (8 p.m., ET). Welcome to Duluth, bitches. [ESPN2] • MLB: Boston at Minnesota (7 p.m., ET). Come see a sporting event in the only building named after a man named Hubert. [ESPN] • NBA: E...

O.J. Mayo's Not The Sharpest Trojan In The Jar
This whole O.J. Mayo affair is probably not surprising to anybody who has a healthy does of skepticism about heavily recruited college basketball players' long-term goals and their abilities to make sound life decisions. As soon as Mayo signed onto USC, it was pretty clear that this kid decided Sout...

Baseball Taking Much-Needed Milestone Break
One of our favorite early-season baseball rituals is the old "on-pace-for" game. Unfortunately, it's slim pickings this year; no one's hitting a ton of homers, and there aren't many individuals completely tearing up the league. (It's almost as if they're missing some sort of value-added supplements ...

Media Approval Ratings: Peter King
We were fortunate enough to meet Peter King once. We introduced ourselves, and he looked us up and down, not malevolently, and said, "How did you end up doing this?" We think he was referring to life as a professional blogger, rather than the fact that we were juggling octopi at the time....

Pink Bats, Red Faces; This One's For You, Mom
Here we go, writing about breasts again. Mother's Day was Sunday, and you know what that means: The pink bats were back. And while that's good for the fight against breast cancer, it was bad for the Cincinnati Reds, who just seemed to be horribly disoriented by the unfamiliar flashing colors. I supp...

Sexy Olympian Has Sexy Performance
Now that Mother's Day is drawing to a close, we can get back to objectifying women. Just funnin'. I'm only interested in Rich Garces' tits. Or, failing that, Bobby Jenks'. Yesterday, noted attractive Olympian and tattoo enthusiast Nathasha Kai put on quite the show, scoring three goals in the U.S....

Tony Dungy Has A Short Memory
Indianapolis Colts coach Tony Dungy spoke with kids at a high school in Tampa on Thursday and apparently he was in a mood to foment him some controversy. And not in the usual "condemning o' the gays" way. Nope. He took a shot at the rival New England Patriots being embroiled in MattWalshGate. Nothin...

OSU Lacrosse Goalie Makes Sport Watchable, If Briefly
I grew up in Maryland, where lacrosse is the official team sport (The official individual sport? Jousting. Yes, Maryland is retarded. I'm sure they'll change the team sport to Quidditch before the decade is out). There, lacrosse is all the rage with white guys and the rare black dude who listens to...

About Last Night...
What you missed while being reminded not to feed the Ape......

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while modifying your flatscreen with a burlap frame......

Dyshod Carter Probably Not The Next Frank Lucas
Dyshod Carter, a former cornerback for the Cardinals and Browns, was one of five people arrested earlier this week for attempting to purchase seven kilos of cocaine from an undercover DEA agent at the low, low Phoenix price of $16,000 a key....

Here She Comes, Here Comes Speed Racer
Quite a messy day of Indy 500 practice yesterday, with Danica Patrick's car clipping Dale Coyne Racing crewman Charles Buckman and sending him to the hospital with a concussion. Meanwhile, rookie driver Alex Lloyd hit a wall at 223 mph during a practice run and Mario Dominguez got in a minor wreck t...

Papelbon's Control Goes On The Lam
Mike Lamb, he of the .213 average and no homers in 94 at-bats, was the latest to victimize the Red Sox closer, who has blown back-to-back saves. That leaves him one short of his mark through all of last season. Papelbon opened the 9th by allowing a single to Delmon Young, who advanced to third on a...

About Last Night...
What you missed while bragging about your undead bongineering......

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after finishing your Little Golden Book ... • Boxing: Junior welterweights, Mike Arnaoutis vs. Lanardo Tyner, at Atlantic City, (10 p.m., ET, same-day tape). Hey, I was going to name my son Lanardo! [ESPN2] • NBA: Western Conference semifinals, Game 3, Los Angeles Lakers at Utah Jazz (...