ball Page 1858 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
An Excuse To Break Out Our Ditka Wine!
If an alien race ever decided to attack us, we know of one sure-fire way to hold off the destruction. Just send this ad into space. It's sure to render potential invaders hopelessly befuddled, so that they veer off toward a stable planet, like Saturn. Heck, we live here, and we're frightened by this...
How To Get Kicked Off Your Team
We know this is from yesterday, but we needed to wrap 'er up, if just because it involves Kansas coach Bill Self, who wears the worst toupee we've seen in college sports yet is seemingly never called on it. (Yes. We're Illini people. We're still a little annoyed.)...
Life Lessons With Darryl Strawberry
About a month-and-a-half ago, we told you about an auction that could bring Darryl Strawberry to your classroom to teach your kids a few lessons. We liked the idea and wished we had some spare change hanging around ourselves. We could use a lecture or two from Darryl....
The Bay Area Athletics Of Fremont?
For years, people have been figuring out how to either attract fans in Oakland — remember, they closed off the upper deck this year, and few complained — or how to get the heck out of there. Well, it seems like they might have finally figured out how to bolt the Coliseum: Head to Fremont!...
Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Pacific-10 Conference
Thought we were done previewing things? How could you think that, with your NCAA Basketball Tournament office pool a mere five months away? You've got to start studying now if you want to beat that chick in the mail room. So who's with me? Let's Gooo! (Please send contributions to [email protected]...
Pointing Out The Idiocy Of A New Rule
A truly outstanding find from The Wizard Of Odds: Apparently, during the Joe Paterno broken leg game between Penn State and Wisconsin — JoePa's return has been pretty amazing, by the way; the guy's coaching this week — Badgers coach Bret Bielema either discovered a loophole in the controversial new ...
Lonnie Smith Wanted To Shoot John Schuerholz
We had heard that Lonnie Smith, the former Cardinals and Braves outfielder whose frenetic baserunning was almost as breathtaking as watching him try to play defense (Bill James once pointed out that Smith "really does fall down almost every game), had battled some drug problems back in the late '80s...
Not Even "Hard Harry" Can Save This Game
Ordinarily, we've tended to make fun of "Monday Night Football"'s tendency to bring "celebrities" into their booth to banter with Bald 1, Bald 2 and Mouthy; it's always a distraction from the game and excruciating to listen to. ("So, uh, guy from 'Desperate Housewives" ... er ... so you're in a coma...
Not Exactly Your Marquee MNF Matchup
We love the idea of these late-night open game threads, which started with the World Series — who won that, anyway? — and have morphed into a fun Monday night activity for the bored, drunk and/or curious. But it's pretty tough to dress up tonight's game in anything that resembles anything pretty: ...
Drew Tate Does The Ocho
In the spirit of the Big Ten football theme we've got going this afternoon, we proudly present you with Drew Tate, quarterback for the consistently disappointing Iowa Hawkeyes, rocking out the Halloween party circuit with some pals as, apparently, the bad guys from "Dodgeball." Frankly, this is the ...
Set Tasers Phasers To "Conduct"
At halftime of the Michigan-Ball State game on Saturday, of all people, freaking Picard proved something we've always suspected: Anybody can be a damned band conductor....
Bo Schembechler Gets Meta On Us
We've told you repeatedly about the Dead Schembechlers, the Ohio State fan punk band that features thrash ditties like "Bomb Ann Arbor Now" and "Chad Henne is A Motherfucking Joke." (Their official site is right here, though someone should probably mention that no one does splash pages anymore.)...
Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Atlantic 10 Conference
Thought we were done previewing things? How could you think that, with your NCAA Basketball Tournament office pool a mere five months away? You've got to start studying now if you want that edge. So let's go. (Please send contributions to [email protected])....
Sometimes, The Gatorade Bottle Is Just Too Far Away
We're posting this just to be obnoxious, and we will not pretend otherwise: During Nebraska's 34-20 victory over Missouri, Tigers quarterback Chase Daniel discovers a way to replenish proteins burned through on the field of battle....
Thinking Good Thoughts For JoePa
If you haven't seen the "highlight" yet, here's video of Joe Paterno's broken leg accident on Saturday. We are extremely fond of Paterno — we always find him lovable; we want him to read us a story or something — and hope he has a speedy recovery, or as speedy a recovery that a 79-year-old man can h...
The Vols Aren't Taking It Well
When I saw that three Tennessee football players had been arrested, I just assumed that one of them was Pac Man Jones. It wasn't the Titans, though, it was the Volunteers, who figure if they can't beat some ass on the field, they should beat some ass in the club....
Taking Down The Field Goal Posts: One Less One Loss Team
• (13) LSU 28, (8) Tennessee 24. Despite its disappointing lack of Cooter, the biggest game of the day was also probably the best. LSU beat Tennessee by a score of 28-24 behind a JaMarcus Russell touchdown pass to Early Doucet that I don't believe was intended for Early Doucet. If so, that'd make ...
Hugh Johnson Project, Update 4
Other than the Michigan close call against Ball State and Joe Paterno's osteoporosis, it hasn't been that eventful of a day in college football. The biggest game of the day, at least in terms of national rankings, is happening on CBS right now: Tennessee leads LSU 10-7 very early in the third quarte...
Hugh Johnson Project, Update 3
LSU just took a 7-0 lead over Tennessee in the only moderately interesting game of the day. Jamarcus Russell hit Craig Davis for a 23-yard touchdown pass in the second quarter. Joe Paterno and his bionic leg were not able to overcome Wisconsin, losing 13-3. Notre Dame is mauling North Carolina, wh...
Hugh Johnson Project, Update 2
Penn State head coach Joe Paterno was plowed into by one of his own players on the sidelines, and he suffered some kind of a leg injury. It's never a good thing to see an old man hurt, but the upside is that it's inspired some of you....