borussia-dortmund Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
In Ousmane Dembélé, Barcelona Have Found A New Heir For Lionel Messi
At long last, some good news for FC Barcelona. Both Barça and Borussia Dortmund have now officially announced their agreement to send budding French superstar Ousmane Dembélé to Spain for a staggering fee that could reach as high as €145 million. And as far as news for Barça fans goes, this really c...
Christian Pulisic Kicks Off The Bundesliga Season Like A Superstar
Every time I worry the American soccer press (Deadspin included) is being too hyperbolic in their praise and general hype for Christian Pulisic, he goes and assuages those fears with a marvelous performance. Consider today’s Bundesliga opener, which comes amid Ousmane Dembele’s transfer saga as well...
How Barcelona's Scramble To Replace Neymar Might Send Christian Pulisic To The Stars<em></em>
It wasn’t really supposed to happen like this. French teen sensation Kylian Mbappé was slated to be this summer’s headlining transfer, with the usual suspects in Madrid, Paris, and Barcelona fighting over the right to pay one-sixth of a billion dollars for his signature. Instead, Neymar somehow went...
Christian Pulisic Starts His Season Off By Embarrassing Bayern Munich
America’s Wonderteen, Christian Pulisic, scored the opener of the German Super Cup for Dortmund against Bayern today, dispossessing a concerningly louche Javi Martinez and easily finishing....
Go Ahead And Enjoy Christian Pulisic Tearing Shit Up In A Meaningless Game
I’m not going to tell you that Christian Pulisic’s performance in today’s Borussia Dortmund-AC Milan friendly—in which he conjured two assists, won a penalty, and eeled his way past famously big and bad Serie A defenders more times than you could count—means that the Wonderteen is primed to take the...
Dortmund's Other Teenage Star Slams The Door On Bayern Munich To Reach German Cup Final
With Bayern Munich and Borussia Dortmund tied 2-2 late in their German Cup semifinal match, Dortmund’s teenage star (no, not that one) blasted the game-winning goal from behind a screen of defenders. Ousmane Dembele’s late winner sent his club to their fourth consecutive German Cup final, leaving Ge...
Prosecutors: Dortmund Bus Bomber Was Carrying Out Get-Rich-Quick Scheme
German authorities have arrested a 28-year-old man of German and Russian descent who they believe tried to blow up the Borussia Dortmund team bus before a Champions League game earlier this month. According to prosecutors, the man carried out the bombing in order to drive down Borussia Dortmund’s st...
More Magic From America's Wonderteen Christian Pulisic
American soccer sensation Christian Pulisic has had a hell of a week. Less than 24 hours after the Dortmund bus was bombed heading to its home stadium, Pulisic played the second half of Borussia Dortmund’s Champions League tie with Monaco and enlivened a dull BVB attack with incisive running and qui...
German Investigators: "Significant Doubt" That Radical Islamists Responsible For Borussia Dortmund Bombing
Investigators in Germany are saying that this week’s bombing of a Borussia Dortmund team bus was likely not the work of radical Islamists, and letters found at the scene hinting at such motivation were likely “an attempt to trick people into thinking there was an Islamist motive,” per the BBC....
Dortmund's Nuri Şahin<em></em> Gives Emotional Interview Day After Team Bus Attacked
Borussia Dortmund midfielder Nuri Şahin played in his team’s Champions League match against Monaco today. The game had been postponed from its originally scheduled date of yesterday after the Dortmund team bus was attacked with some sort of explosive devices. In the interview above, given immediatel...
Dortmund Fans Gladly Host Traveling Monaco Fans After Champions League Game Delayed By Explosions
Dortmund’s Champions League quarterfinal match against Monaco this afternoon was canceled after their team bus was hit by three explosions on its way to the stadium. According to the latest out of Dortmund, Marc Bartra had to undergo surgery for a broken wrist and officials are working to verify the...
Explosion Near Borussia Dortmund Bus Cancels Champions League Match, Reportedly Injures Marc Bartra
An explosion went off near the Borussia Dortmund team bus this afternoon in Dortmund, Germany, a little less than two hours before the club was scheduled to take on AS Monaco in the Champions League quarterfinals. The match has been canceled, and rescheduled for tomorrow. ...
Christian Pulisic's Swag Is Crazy High Right Now And It's Beautiful To See
Highly coveted wonderteen and future Ballon d’Or winner Christian Pulisic scored the first goal in Borussia Dortmund’s 3-0 win over Lotte in the German Cup yesterday. The goal itself was fine, the product of Pulisic’s smart movement but mostly Ousmane Dembélé’s unreal skills. But check out Pulisic’s...
American Wonderteen Christian Pulisic Stomped All Over Benfica<em></em>
Borussia Dortmund lost 1-0 to Benfica in Lisbon, Portugal two weeks ago, necessitating a strong performance today in the second leg of their Round of 16 Champions League tie to advance. They needn’t worry, because the wonderteen was there. ...
Borussia Dortmund Will Soon Be So Damn Good
In what has been a pretty tame January transfer window—unless Manchester United discarding spare parts gets you excited—Borussia Dortmund made perhaps the biggest splash today when they signed 17-year-old Swedish phenom Alexander Isak, along with extending the contract of the world’s future best pla...
Borussia Dortmund And Legia Warsaw Combined To Score A Zillion Goals Today
Legia Warsaw played Borussia Dortmund in a Champions League match today. Each team scored multiple times. Here is one of the goals scored in the game today:...
Miami's Fox Station Aired An Infomercial For A Coffeemaker Instead Of This Match
Borussia Dortmund beat Bayern Munich 1-0 in today’s Bundesliga clash of titans, but despite Bayern’s helpful chart fans in Miami didn’t find the match on their local Fox station. WSVN, which regularly airs paid programming instead of Fox network coverage, decided more south Floridians wanted to watc...
Barcelona Are Reportedly Hot For Christian Pulisic
Look, I’m not going to tell you that this Spanish paper’s report that Barcelona, the (in my humble and in no way biased opinion) best club in world soccer, are “closely following” America’s Wonderteen Christian Pulisic, the (again, humble, unbiased opinion) greatest, can’t-miss soccer prospect in th...
Brilliant Shithead Cristiano Ronaldo Had A Brilliant, Shitheaded Game Yesterday
As everyone knows, Cristiano Ronaldo is one of the greatest soccer players of all time. He’s also an obnoxious, petulant brat prone to sneaky acts of outright violence when he feels aggrieved. All sides of CR7 were on display during yesterday’s Real Madrid-Borussia Dortmund match....
America's Beautiful Wonderteen, Christian Pulisic, Just Ran Through Real Madrid<em></em>
Borussia Dortmund, one of the world’s very best soccer teams, found themselves down against Real Madrid, the most famous sports team on the planet, in a Champions League match today. Looking to change the game, they turned to a goddamn American child, 18-year-old Christian Pulisic, to save the day. ...