Borussia Dortmund Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Maybe Paco Alcácer Sold His Soul To The Devil For The Power To Score Whenever He Wants
Though Paco Alcácer’s goal today came when Spain were already down big in their UEFA Nations League match against England, the weight of the scoreline was never going to keep the corners of his mouth from turning upward in delight. Alcácer had stepped over the sideline and into a 3-0 hiding in the 5...
Hoffenheim Striker Misses Open-Net Game-Winner
Regardless of the sport, it’s the dream of every young athlete to one day score a last-minute game-winner in front of a large crowd at the highest level of competition. When the opportunity to live out the childlike fantasy came to TSG Hoffenheim striker Ishak Belfodil, he unfortunately did what an ...
Wonderteen Christian Pulisic, Who Is Now A Wonderman, Scores Winner On 20th Birthday
Christian Pulisic turned 20 years old today, which means he is no longer the Wonderteen we have all known and loved, but instead a full-grown Wonderman. He showed his newfound maturity by scoring the lone goal and winner for Borussia Dortmund in the 85th minute of their Champions League opener again...
Three-Team Standoff Hopefully Will Not End With Arsenal's Dick Getting Shot Off
Famously star-crossed Premier League club Arsenal have already had a bad winter transfer window. Just last week the Gunners let Manchester United Debo them out of their best player, Alexis Sánchez, and the only thing that could even kind of almost halfway redeem them from that humiliating chump move...
Manchester United Need To Stay The Fuck Away From Our Wonderteen
The good thing about having one of the soccer world’s most coveted young attacking prospects is that the eyes of the game’s biggest clubs will be focused on the kid, each team projecting out his possibly incredible future and positioning themselves to snatch it for themselves if they so decide to ma...
America's Wonderteen Delivers 89th-Minute Match-Winner For Dortmund
Borussia Dortmund claimed a 2-1 win over Hoffenheim today when Christian Pulisic juggled his way past Oliver Baumann in the 89th minute to score yet another game-winner for his side, keeping them in third place in the Bundesliga....
Cristiano Ronaldo May Be Butt In La Liga, But He's Still Good In The Champions League
Real Madrid superstar Cristiano Ronaldo ranks second in La Liga in shots taken per 90 minutes. Ahead of him is some dude named Andrew Hjulsager, who has made two substitute appearances for Celta Vigo. In that time Hjulsager has amassed 12 minutes and fired off a single shot, giving him a 7.5 shots-p...
Tottenham And Dortmund Are Throwing A Golazo Party
Everyone knew today’s Tottenham-Borussia Dortmund match was going to be the one to watch even before the games kicked off, seeing how good and evenly matched both teams are. But even the most optimistic spectator probably didn’t foresee the completely wide-open golazo contest the match has so far tu...
In Ousmane Dembélé, Barcelona Have Found A New Heir For Lionel Messi
At long last, some good news for FC Barcelona. Both Barça and Borussia Dortmund have now officially announced their agreement to send budding French superstar Ousmane Dembélé to Spain for a staggering fee that could reach as high as €145 million. And as far as news for Barça fans goes, this really c...
Christian Pulisic Kicks Off The Bundesliga Season Like A Superstar
Every time I worry the American soccer press (Deadspin included) is being too hyperbolic in their praise and general hype for Christian Pulisic, he goes and assuages those fears with a marvelous performance. Consider today’s Bundesliga opener, which comes amid Ousmane Dembele’s transfer saga as well...
How Barcelona's Scramble To Replace Neymar Might Send Christian Pulisic To The Stars<em></em>
It wasn’t really supposed to happen like this. French teen sensation Kylian Mbappé was slated to be this summer’s headlining transfer, with the usual suspects in Madrid, Paris, and Barcelona fighting over the right to pay one-sixth of a billion dollars for his signature. Instead, Neymar somehow went...
Christian Pulisic Starts His Season Off By Embarrassing Bayern Munich
America’s Wonderteen, Christian Pulisic, scored the opener of the German Super Cup for Dortmund against Bayern today, dispossessing a concerningly louche Javi Martinez and easily finishing....
Go Ahead And Enjoy Christian Pulisic Tearing Shit Up In A Meaningless Game
I’m not going to tell you that Christian Pulisic’s performance in today’s Borussia Dortmund-AC Milan friendly—in which he conjured two assists, won a penalty, and eeled his way past famously big and bad Serie A defenders more times than you could count—means that the Wonderteen is primed to take the...
Dortmund's Other Teenage Star Slams The Door On Bayern Munich To Reach German Cup Final
With Bayern Munich and Borussia Dortmund tied 2-2 late in their German Cup semifinal match, Dortmund’s teenage star (no, not that one) blasted the game-winning goal from behind a screen of defenders. Ousmane Dembele’s late winner sent his club to their fourth consecutive German Cup final, leaving Ge...
Prosecutors: Dortmund Bus Bomber Was Carrying Out Get-Rich-Quick Scheme
German authorities have arrested a 28-year-old man of German and Russian descent who they believe tried to blow up the Borussia Dortmund team bus before a Champions League game earlier this month. According to prosecutors, the man carried out the bombing in order to drive down Borussia Dortmund’s st...
More Magic From America's Wonderteen Christian Pulisic
American soccer sensation Christian Pulisic has had a hell of a week. Less than 24 hours after the Dortmund bus was bombed heading to its home stadium, Pulisic played the second half of Borussia Dortmund’s Champions League tie with Monaco and enlivened a dull BVB attack with incisive running and qui...
German Investigators: "Significant Doubt" That Radical Islamists Responsible For Borussia Dortmund Bombing
Investigators in Germany are saying that this week’s bombing of a Borussia Dortmund team bus was likely not the work of radical Islamists, and letters found at the scene hinting at such motivation were likely “an attempt to trick people into thinking there was an Islamist motive,” per the BBC....
Dortmund's Nuri Şahin<em></em> Gives Emotional Interview Day After Team Bus Attacked
Borussia Dortmund midfielder Nuri Şahin played in his team’s Champions League match against Monaco today. The game had been postponed from its originally scheduled date of yesterday after the Dortmund team bus was attacked with some sort of explosive devices. In the interview above, given immediatel...
Dortmund Fans Gladly Host Traveling Monaco Fans After Champions League Game Delayed By Explosions
Dortmund’s Champions League quarterfinal match against Monaco this afternoon was canceled after their team bus was hit by three explosions on its way to the stadium. According to the latest out of Dortmund, Marc Bartra had to undergo surgery for a broken wrist and officials are working to verify the...
Explosion Near Borussia Dortmund Bus Cancels Champions League Match, Reportedly Injures Marc Bartra
An explosion went off near the Borussia Dortmund team bus this afternoon in Dortmund, Germany, a little less than two hours before the club was scheduled to take on AS Monaco in the Champions League quarterfinals. The match has been canceled, and rescheduled for tomorrow. ...