chelsea Page 19 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Special Needs One
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
Chelsea Are Your FA Champions
It must've been a rough morning for our pal David Hirshey. Not only did Chelsea get a 1-0 win when Didier Drogba scored in extra time, but it came at the end of a game that's been described as "rubbish football" and "cack."...
Dancing On Chelsea's Grave
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
Premiership Title Gift-Wrapped For Manchester United
Manchester United clinched the Premiership title this afternoon, on a day when they were not playing, their head coach was on the golf course, and two other teams tied....
Today in the Premiership...
• Manchester United 4-1 Bolton. Cristiano Ronaldo is as magnificent as he is handsome. He spent the day carving up the Bolton defense, setting up goals for Wayne Rooney (who had 2), and Ji-Sung Park (who also had 2). It was a dominating performance, but it didn't come without a price. Gary Neville s...
Today In The Premiership...
• Liverpool 0-1 Manchester United. They were playing with then men. Liverpool was controlling most of the play. Things were looking up for Chelsea, who desperately needed Manchester United to stumble... but two minutes into injury time, Cristiano Ronaldo set up for a free kick, it deflected off goal...
Hirshey: Too Much Drogba
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
Today In The Premiership...
• Fulham 1-1 Tottenham. American Clint Dempsey saw his first action for Fulham today, coming off the bench in the 81st minute and... well, I don't think he did much of anything. He's listed in the match report as "Clinton Dempsey," which I think shows a lack of international respect for his gangsta ...
Hirshey's Holiday Week Off
We are sorry to disappoint, but our main man David Hirshey is taking a week off from his weekly windings on the world of the English Premier League. (That's soccer, in case you forgot.) He sends the following explanation/report:...
I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed
I missed this during yesterday's Premiership coverage, which necessitates doubling up on the amount of soccer posts this weekend. Many of you, I'm sure, hate this. And I'm sorry. But Portsmouth's Matt Taylor did something yesterday that is not normal, and I don't think we should ignore it....
Today In The Premiership...
• Sheffield United 1-2 Manchester United. Wayne Rooney put Manchester United on his back today and earned them a crucial 2-1 victory over Sheffield United. Sheffield led after a goal in the 13th minute, but a couple of clean Rooney strikes gave the Reds the win. I don't think Rooney's performance ...
Oh. So THAT'S A Bung
The big "shocking" report from the BBC about a brewing soccer scandal in Europe has finally aired, and it turns out that the problem is ... bungs!...
Today In The Premiership...
• Everton 3-0 Liverpool. Now that is how you embarrass a rival team. The Toffees served up an ass-beating to their neighbors, with Tim Cahill putting Everton on the board in the 23rd minute, and Andrew Johnson finishing Liverpool off with goals in the 35th and the 90th. Everton finds themselves at t...
Your Non-Headbutting European Soccer Update
We don't know a lot about soccer, but even we know that this doesn't appear to be cricket. In a move not seen since Brandon Cruz pitched for a Little League team named the Yankees in the film Bad News Bears, Chelsea's William Gallas has threatend to score an own goal if club manager Jose Mourinho fa...
Today In The Premiership...
• Manchester United 5-1 Fulham. A little bit of order was restored after a couple of unlikely draws during yesterday's play. Up first, Man United notched five goals against a Fulham defense that's described in the BBC article as "shambolic," a word that isn't used nearly enough. Wayne Rooney and C...
Today In The Premiership...
• Cristiano Ronaldo, hated by everyone in England a month ago, was actually welcomed quite warmly by the Manchester United fans at Old Trafford today. He notched a goal and an assist in United's 3-0 victory over Sevilla. After he and beloved Wayne Rooney got into it during the Portugal/England quart...
Embracing The Colors
The Major League Soccer All-Star Game featured one team of All-Stars from MLS against Chelsea, the reigning champions of the English Premier League, and, thanks to their insane payroll, kinda like a World All-Star team. The MLS team won, 1-0. Here are two sides of the story. First, Dwayne De Rosar...
Today In The Premiership...
• Ruud Van Nistelrooy liked Germany so much that he wants to go back. Ruud wants his next season to be with Bayern Munich of the German Budesliga. Real Madrid had previously made a bid to acquire Van Niistelrooy, but it was rejected by Manchester United. I'm not ruling out the possibility that the...
Today In Soccer...
Germany 7-0 Luxembourg. Lots of international friendlies going on today in preparation for the World Cup, and you know, I don't think it would kill Germany to be nice to Luxembourg, just once. They unleashed a serious beating on the undermanned 'Bourgers today, with two goals each from Oliver Neuv...
Soccer Players Shouldn't Date Hot Topless Women
Our mystery soccer correspondent files this report of Chelsea soccer star Joe Cole being beaten to a pulp over a Page 3 girl (Link NSFW)....