christ Page 36 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
U.S. Women's National Team Score Three Goals In Nine Minutes To Beat Brazil
Julie Ertz’s 89th-minute goal capped a massive late comeback for the U.S. women’s national team as they beat Brazil 4-3 in a Tournament of Nations match that saw them down 3-1 with less than ten minutes remaining....
Chris Christie Gets Razzed By Cubs Fan, Leans In For Awkward Scolding
The Chris Christie humiliation spiral continued today with the fully-inflated Violet Beauregarde-looking New Jersey governor getting right into the face of a Cubs fan at today’s Cubs-Brewers game in Milwaukee:...
Christopher Nolan, Please Stop Hiding Tom Hardy's Big Beautiful Lips From Us
You’re a human person with functioning eyeballs and so I don’t need to convince you that Tom Hardy has a good face featuring a pair of full, impressive lips. The lips are nice. They are the kind of lips that could easily become a piece of cultural shorthand. “That dude has Tom Hardy lips,” you might...
Failed Sports Radio Host Chris Christie Catches Foul Ball To Disgust Of Mets Fans
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie showed off his athletic side at tonight’s Cardinals-Mets game, reaching from his seat to make a left-handed catch of a foul ball off the bat of St. Louis shortstop Paul DeJong....
Go Ahead And Enjoy Christian Pulisic Tearing Shit Up In A Meaningless Game
I’m not going to tell you that Christian Pulisic’s performance in today’s Borussia Dortmund-AC Milan friendly—in which he conjured two assists, won a penalty, and eeled his way past famously big and bad Serie A defenders more times than you could count—means that the Wonderteen is primed to take the...
WFAN Caller Tells Chris Christie To "Put Your Fat Ass In A Car" And Go To A Public Beach
It didn’t take long for someone to berate Chris Christie on radio today. Infamous WFAN caller Mike in Montclair took him to the cleaners, and the New Jersey governor’s defense amounted to a bunch of spluttering....
You Can Call Chris Christie And Berate Him On The Radio Today
New Jersey’s governor is going to spend nine hours of his time this week yakking about sports for WFAN, in hopes of transitioning to a full-time radio career once his term ends in 2018....
The Twins Unleashed High-Powered Offensive Chaos On The Poor Mariners
If you’re looking for a single image to serve as an encapsulation of the Mariners’ 20-7 loss against the Twins tonight, it’s tempting to go with starter Christian Bergman grimacing after allowing his first home run of the night or doing the same after his second home run or exiting in the third inni...
Liquor Store Soccer Team Scores First Against D.C. United
Christos FC, an amateur Baltimore soccer team that never practices and is headquartered in a liquor store, is playing a fourth-round U.S. Open Cup match against D.C. United of MLS tonight. In the 23rd minute, Mamadou Kansaye scored on a free kick to give his club a 1-0 lead over the three-time Open ...
Terrible Columnist Argues Bill Cosby Is Not A Rapist Because She Liked <i>The Cosby Show</i>
Without hyperbole, we have found one of the worst major-newspaper columns since Mark Whicker left the yard....
Toilet Warrior Lance Berkman Will Speak At Cardinals' Christian Day
Lance Berkman, the former baseball player and man who was previously terrified of “troubled men” sneaking into women’s bathrooms, will be the St. Louis Cardinals’ guest for the team’s Christian Day on July 30....
Christian Pulisic Is Restoring My Faith In U.S. Soccer
There was, I must admit, a moment there before the start of last night’s crucial USA vs. Trinidad and Tobago World Cup qualifier when I thought it would be better if the U.S. blew the match and the next couple and wound up missing out on next summer’s World Cup....
U.S. Beat Trinidad & Tobago Thanks To Pair Of Christian Pulisic Goals
A pair of gorgeous second-half goals by America’s Wonderteen gave the U.S. a 2-0 World Cup qualifier win tonight in Denver over Trinidad and Tobago....
This Is The Fastest 100-Meter Dash In NCAA History
The Tennessee Volunteers’ Christian Coleman is in top form as his collegiate season comes to a close. The runner-up in both the 100m and 200m last year, Coleman completely destroyed tonight’s semifinal heat at the NCAA Championships, and then some. But his time was off the charts: a wind-legal 9.82 ...
War Machine Gets Life In Prison For Sexually Assaulting And Kidnapping Christy Mack
Former professional MMA fighter War Machine (born Jon Koppenhaver) was found guilty by a Las Vegas jury in March of 29 charges, including sexual assault and battery with a deadly weapon, after he attacked his ex-girlfriend Christy Mack and her friend Corey Thomas in 2014. He was charged with 34 coun...
The Giants Finally Broke A Very Sad Streak
The Giants narrowly avoided a sweep by the Mets yesterday afternoon, which would have been the second consecutive series sweep for them. A win is a win (and this one doesn’t change the Giants’ standing as the worst team in baseball by record), but the victory was notable for one astonishing fact: ...
Why Should Any Top Draft Prospect Play A Meaningless Bowl Game Again?
Leonard Fournette and Christian McCaffrey made history last week. The Jaguars drafted Fournette fourth overall, while the Panthers took McCaffrey at No. 8. Both were outstanding prospects who were expected to be selected in the Top 10. What’s significant is that both had skipped their meaningless, n...
More Magic From America's Wonderteen Christian Pulisic
American soccer sensation Christian Pulisic has had a hell of a week. Less than 24 hours after the Dortmund bus was bombed heading to its home stadium, Pulisic played the second half of Borussia Dortmund’s Champions League tie with Monaco and enlivened a dull BVB attack with incisive running and qui...
Mike Tyson To Chris Christie: Tell President Trump To Give Me The Pardon He Promised
Yesterday, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie spoke at a prisoner re-entry conference in Jersey City. So did former world heavyweight champ Mike Tyson, who presented Christie with a title belt to commend him for his work on the subject....
Look At This Fucking Asshole<em></em>
Behold idiot son-in-law Jared Kushner—the man now in charge of brokering Middle East peace, Uberizing the federal government, reforming the entire criminal justice system, and keeping Donald Trump’s hands off his wife. This perfect still frame from a David O. Russell film has also been put in charge...