cincinnati Page 49 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Playoff Pants Party: Steelers Vs. Bengals
For some reason, we're more excited about this playoff game than any of the others, though we know we're in the minority. We think it's because the NFL world is always happier and more in balance when you see teams like the Bengals — or the Texans, or the Lions, or (lo!) the Buzzsaw — make the playo...
Picking Up Where Chad Left Off
Since Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson has been so unfairly muffled all week, taking about 93 percent of the fun out of that Steelers-Bengals game, it has been up to fans to pick up his slack. One fan has come up with a great scenario....
The Tragic Muzzling Of Chad Johnson
Well, it's the week before the Cincinnati Bengals' first playoff game in 15 years, and they're hosting it, against the hated division rival Pittsburgh Steelers. Man, oh, man, wide receiver Chad Johnson must be going crazy, right? What's he gonna do? Score a touchdown and smelt some ore? Strap on B...
Clearing The 1 o'clock Table...
• San Diego 7, Kansas City 20. So, what did you use for pregame motivation, Marty, the tape of Jim Mora screaming, "PLAYOFFS? PLAYOFFS?!" I feel much pain. • Buffalo 37, Cincinnati 27. Rough day for Chad Johnson. First, someone stole his reindeer (I HATE YOU, whoever it was), and then, they lose to ...
Someone Stole Chad Johnson's Reindeer
Never will you see someone who just scored a touchdown walk to the sidelines with such dejection. Chad Johnson took one to the house against Buffalo, but could not find his reindeer afterwards....
Sweet Lord, Let Him Not Be Kidding
Last week, Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson disappointed us — and pretty much every sports fan we know — by scoring a touchdown and simply handing the ball back to the ref....
NFL Roundup: Sad Colts, Happy Bolts
• We'll confess, we were actually kind of rooting for the Colts not to finish 16-0. Not because we have anything against them — we don't, save for maybe a suspicion that Edgerrin James did a guest spot on the seventh floor crew — but because we will never have faith in Tony Dungy and Peyton Chessn...
Clearing The 4 o'clock Table...
• Cleveland 9, Oakland 7. If you watched this one, you're a diehard Browns fan, a diehard Raiders fan, or a person with severe emotional problems, and I'm worried about you. Let's get you some help. • Bengals 41, Detroit 17. Even Chad Johnson knows that it's bad form to celebrate the mundane accom...
FIRE MILLEN
Sorry about the headline, I just felt left out. Everyone else is chanting it or holding a sign. I wanted to join the parade....
Somebody Loan Greg Gall Some Cash For This
Life's tough when you're a former athlete — just ask Prancing Boy Jerry Rice — but thankfully, if you live in Cincinnati, there's always work for Miller, running around and getting people beer....
Clearing The 1 o'clock Table...
• Chicago 9, Pittsburgh 21. Remarkably, Minnesota's going to be one game back in the division. They play the Bears in Week 17, too. • Cincinnati 23, Cleveland 20. Shayne Graham hits a field goal at the buzzer to avoid the major upset. Again, Chad Johnson is held out of the endzone. Again, Sunday is ...
Non-Chad Johnson TDs Suck
Instead of fining Chad Johnson for excessive touchdown celebrations, Paul Tagliabue should start fining Bengals who score TDs that aren't named Chad Johnson....
NFL Roundup: Bengal Breakthrough
• As Arizona Cardinals fans, we always wonder what the day will be like when, after years of torture, our team finally breaks through and shows they're serious about this whole winning business. It must have been that exciting for Bengals fans yesterday. Realize: A baby born the last time the Beng...
Fe Is The Symbol For Iron. So You Know.
It's a pivotal week for Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson. No, no, not the AFC North-deciding game against the longtime nemesis Steelers at Heinz Field, silly. Johnson has officially raised the bar by proclaiming that he will perform the "best touchdown celebration ever" when he scores against Pi...
NFL Roundup: Fore!
• Honestly, what more can you say about Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson? This will almost certainly be a poll later this week, but his "putt the football with the pilon followed by a Tiger Woods fist pump" was, once again, completely inspired. (All it was missing was an awkward high five.) If t...
Greg Gall Free To Stumble Down Street
Fans of America, you can now breathe easier: You can still get shit-faced, run onto the field and slap Carson Palmer on the ass, and you won't have to worry about much time in the clink. A day after a zealous prosecutor threatened to put crazed Bengals "fan" Greg Gall away for 30 days for becomin...
Throwing The Book At Greg Gall
Some more news from our old friend Greg Gall, the guy who has spent an inordinate amount of time drinking with Deadspin readers. (By the way, we will be in Cincinnati for Thanksgiving week, so Greg, hey, drop us a line, we'll chat.) Ordinarily, when American Heroes like Gall bolt onto the field, t...
Chad Johnson Loves Even Non-Lesbian Cheerleaders
We know the Bengals lost yesterday, but it's pretty obvious now that Chad Johnson is our favorite player in the NFL. He has brought a new, brilliant quality to touchdown celebrations: The backstory. Earlier this year, Johnson did the Riverdance against the Bears that might very well have been mock...
Blogdom's Best: Cincinnati Bengals
It might not — yet — have the online fanaticism and cachet of baseball, but the NFL and its fans are starting to catch up in the world of team-devoted blogs. To this end, Deadspin salutes these modem-addled souls and proudly presents Blogdom's Best, given to the most outstanding blog for each NFL ...
Switching Captains In Cincinnati
Yesterday, the Cincinnati Reds announced that owner Carl Lindner is selling controlling interest in the team to local businessman Robert Castellini, who was part of the St. Louis Cardinals ownership group. We don't usually get into the business of owners too much here, mainly because we find it mu...