cycling Page 22 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What Can You Say Here Except, "Holy Crap"
The truce between cars and bicycles is an uneasy one at best, and is surely broken from time to time; but never more horrifically than seen here. And you are excused for that coffee spit-take. It happened outside of Monterrey, Mexico, near the U.S. border, on Sunday when a drunk driver apparently ...
Female Cyclist Convicted In BALCO Case For Perjury, Growing Her Own Prostate
Cycling stories are remarkably easy to skip over. So much, in fact, that I skipped over five cycling stories during my morning piddle. But cyclist Tammy Thomas getting convicted in a BALCO-related case on three counts of perjury, well, just try to gloss over this mental image....
Lance Armstrong, The Only Pure Cyclist
Mercifully, the Tour de France is over, and some guy we've never heard of but is probably doping like everybody else won. Yahoo. The race's public implosion got us to thinking about Lance Armstrong....
R.I.P. Tour De France
If you're like us, you never really cared about the Tour de France anyway, but with all that has gone done with that race this year, we suspect that no one else from now on is gonna care either. Everybody's doping, the leader has been sent home by his own team, the guy who's in the lead now was jus...
German TV Is Shocked To Find Doping In This Establishment
We know we're gonna blow your minds here, but it turns out that there has been a bit of a blood doping scandal at the Tour de France! We know! In cycling! Of all places! You know, you think you can trust a sport. Anyway, a German television station has decided it's had just about enough, thank you v...
They Just Don't Make Mennonites The Way They Used To
So, yeah, this Floyd Landis business. Heavens....
Your New 2006 Tour de France champion? Not Quite Yet, Oscar
Wait, just hold everything here. The Nation of France, postponing a major confrontation? That's odd. The air was thick with nervous anticipation (and, of course, fermented cheese) today as that country's national doping agency was expected to rule on Floyd Landis and the Urine Sample of Mystery. Bla...
Apparently, There Are Blood Dopers In Cycling
So you know how Floyd Landis was tested positive for doping — kind of — after the Tour de France and they're probably going to give his title to the second place finisher? Well, turns out, that's probably not going to work either....
One Cycling Probe The French Won't Touch
If you've got some time, the Journal of Sexual Medicine needs your help. They need a term for the female version of "cycling penis," a condition which occurs when a cyclist spends too much time on a bicycle seat. We bring this to you via Dave Barry's blog, although Dave failed to note several key pa...
You Cannot Hide From Lance Armstrong
Far be it from us to insinuate that Lance Armstrong is still in the heads of the French cycling establishment, but now they're accusing him of breaking into their email....
When Babelfish Goes Bad
The country is Wales. The subject is bicycle safety; something we can all agree, probably, is very important. The sign is meant to warn riders that there is construction ahead, and they should walk their bikes. Problem is, the sign is also translated into Welsh. And the Welsh words, translated to En...
We're Only 99 44/100ths Percent Pure, Ourselves
The woman on the left in this photo is Danika Schroeter. She finished second in the Canadian downhill mountain biking championships last week, finishing just one second behind Michelle Dumaresq. Dumaresq is the woman in the middle. The lady on the right ... we don't know who the lady on the right is...
The B Sample Cannot Save Floyd
Floyd Landis's fall from grace appears to be complete. They finally got around to testing his B sample this morning, and - surprise, surprise - it was as tainted as a Paris Hilton pap smear. It's a little sad, but to be honest, it's probably more fun for American sports fans to have another doper to...
Not Looking Good For Mr. Landis
For those still holding out hope that Tour de France winner Floyd Landis is truly the nice Mennonite boy who feel victim to an unfortunate, accidental circumstance involving testosterone on Jack Daniels, The New York Times has some bad news today....
Iowans Are Easily Entertained
"Wow, look at Lance Armstrong, eatin' that pie. Just look at him." "I wonder if there's EPO in that pie." "Is he going to eat the whole thing?" "He might. He's got incredible endurance." "Screw pie, man. You wanna see someone eat some pie? I'll eat some goddamn pie. I'll eat five of them." "Just ...
This Type Of Blood Doping, We Can Get Behind
So Tour de France winner / testosterone ratio out-of-whacker Floyd Landis called a press conference today to defend himself against the charge of elevating his testosterone. His explanation, as far as we're concerned, is brilliant....
Oh, So This Is Where Floyd Landis Has Been
Note on the photo at right: Moments after it was taken, two bears on unicycles were seen riding the trail in the opposite direction, one of them wearing a purple jacket. But anyway, that's not why we showed you this. The 13th Unicycle World Championships are being held right now and run through Aug....
Floyd Landis Has Had A Bad Day
On what is obviously already the most difficult day of his professional life, it must be nice for cyclist Floyd Landis to know that the people closest to him in his life totally have his back....