cycling Page 22 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Your New 2006 Tour de France champion? Not Quite Yet, Oscar
Wait, just hold everything here. The Nation of France, postponing a major confrontation? That's odd. The air was thick with nervous anticipation (and, of course, fermented cheese) today as that country's national doping agency was expected to rule on Floyd Landis and the Urine Sample of Mystery. Bla...
Apparently, There Are Blood Dopers In Cycling
So you know how Floyd Landis was tested positive for doping — kind of — after the Tour de France and they're probably going to give his title to the second place finisher? Well, turns out, that's probably not going to work either....
One Cycling Probe The French Won't Touch
If you've got some time, the Journal of Sexual Medicine needs your help. They need a term for the female version of "cycling penis," a condition which occurs when a cyclist spends too much time on a bicycle seat. We bring this to you via Dave Barry's blog, although Dave failed to note several key pa...
You Cannot Hide From Lance Armstrong
Far be it from us to insinuate that Lance Armstrong is still in the heads of the French cycling establishment, but now they're accusing him of breaking into their email....
When Babelfish Goes Bad
The country is Wales. The subject is bicycle safety; something we can all agree, probably, is very important. The sign is meant to warn riders that there is construction ahead, and they should walk their bikes. Problem is, the sign is also translated into Welsh. And the Welsh words, translated to En...
We're Only 99 44/100ths Percent Pure, Ourselves
The woman on the left in this photo is Danika Schroeter. She finished second in the Canadian downhill mountain biking championships last week, finishing just one second behind Michelle Dumaresq. Dumaresq is the woman in the middle. The lady on the right ... we don't know who the lady on the right is...
The B Sample Cannot Save Floyd
Floyd Landis's fall from grace appears to be complete. They finally got around to testing his B sample this morning, and - surprise, surprise - it was as tainted as a Paris Hilton pap smear. It's a little sad, but to be honest, it's probably more fun for American sports fans to have another doper to...
Not Looking Good For Mr. Landis
For those still holding out hope that Tour de France winner Floyd Landis is truly the nice Mennonite boy who feel victim to an unfortunate, accidental circumstance involving testosterone on Jack Daniels, The New York Times has some bad news today....
Iowans Are Easily Entertained
"Wow, look at Lance Armstrong, eatin' that pie. Just look at him." "I wonder if there's EPO in that pie." "Is he going to eat the whole thing?" "He might. He's got incredible endurance." "Screw pie, man. You wanna see someone eat some pie? I'll eat some goddamn pie. I'll eat five of them." "Just ...
This Type Of Blood Doping, We Can Get Behind
So Tour de France winner / testosterone ratio out-of-whacker Floyd Landis called a press conference today to defend himself against the charge of elevating his testosterone. His explanation, as far as we're concerned, is brilliant....
Floyd Landis Has Had A Bad Day
On what is obviously already the most difficult day of his professional life, it must be nice for cyclist Floyd Landis to know that the people closest to him in his life totally have his back....
Floyd Landis About To Become Decidedly Less Popular
There have been tons of rumors circulating around Tour de France champion Floyd Landis, who has gone missing from two races he was scheduled for this week. No one can get a hold of him, and race organizers were "annoyed."...
Apparently, Lance Likes It In The Rear Too
For all the talk last week about the supposed "offensiveness" of Lance Armstrong's joke at the ESPYs about Jake Gyllenhaal "liking it in the rear," many have noticed that the non-doping Tour de France dominator and the guy who looks like Spider-Man but isn't have been hanging out a bunch of late. ...
Floyd Cruises
It was Floyd Landis, as expected, rolling to victory in the Tour de France. Thor Hushovd won the final stage, which earns him not much more than a hearty pat on the back. It's Floyd who will sip the victory champagne, maybe for the first time in his life. That's a guess. Floyd just looks like a g...
Floyd Makes Us Proud
Floyd Landis did what Floyd Landis does this morning, cruising past Spaniard Oscar Pereiro to put himself in position to claim the Tour de France tomorrow. Pereiro started the day 30 seconds ahead of Landis, and finished it about a minute behind him. I don't know anything about cycling, but I kno...
Here Comes Landis!
OK, after we poked a little fun at him yesterday, we've gotta point out: American cyclist Floyd Landis appears to be a total badass. Today, after being counted out of the Tour de France after collapsing yesterday, he blasted by everyone to win the stage and slip just 30 seconds behind the leaders....
Are We Ready For A Tour de Landis?
Can Floyd Landis be the next Lance Armstrong? We as Americans have to decide, and soon. It's clear after Tuesday's 15th stage of the Tour de France that Landis just could win this thing. Are we sure if we can embrace a cycling icon who looks exactly like a slightly younger version of actor Jim Bro...
Americans Temporarily Release Death Grip On Tour De France
Floyd Landis is no longer the leader of the Tour de France, after struggling in the longest stage of the Tour de France. Not only is he not leading anymore, but he's over a minute behind. The stage winner was a German named Jens Voigt, and the Overall leader is Spain's Oscar Pereiro....
More Cheaters At The Tour de France
With all the hullabaloo about doping at the Tour de France, we find it amazing, in this day and age, that Dick Pound (hee!) and the other blood-thinning experts are missing out on rather obvious examples of malfeasance such as this one....
Cycling To Kill Time Between Doping Scandals
The Tour de France is underway, despite the fact that four of last year's top five finishers have been banned from the competition for being dirty, dirty, dopers. Meanwhile, the other one of the five is currently cruising through Iowa. I'm not sure if it's possible to dope on corn....