d Page 2417 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
<i>Sports Illustrated</i> Bosses Insist To Staff That Being Sold To Necrophilic Brand Enthusiasts Is Good
For 65 years, Sports Illustrated has persisted in narrowly covering sports, neglecting those who would like to, say, have their prostates examined in SI-branded medical clinics by doctors wearing SI-branded lab coats, or drape themselves in SI-branded bikinis, or eat an SI-branded hot dog at their k...
Most Of These Team Names Would've Been Way Better Than "Raptors"
The second-most ’90s thing in professional sports is the Hornets still using teal as a primary color. (And, considering it’s the second edition of that franchise, it can be viewed in a more forgiving throwback/nostalgic light.) The single most ’90s thing in professional sports is, obviously, that th...
The Aliens Are Not Real, And Also They're Total Cowards
Maybe you have seen the news that ... well, what, exactly? Near as I can tell the “news” is that lots and lots of Navy pilots have seen UFOs, but that somehow none of them have recorded anything but grainy, indistinct, Classic Arts Showcase–ass video of blurry dots which we’re meant to believe are t...
Dustin Pedroia Has Officially Entered Pre-Retirement Limbo
Dividing baseball players up into types used to be easy—you had your goatee guys and your non-goatee guys. But in this age of increasing specialization and aesthetic proliferation, that work has become more difficult. You’ve got your Beardo Hunter Guys, your Orange County Tattoo Dudes, a whole grim ...
Can You Eat A Full Meal Without Drinking Any Liquid?
Today, we’re talking about weed, toilet paper, golf, fucking to John Tesh, and more....
Lakers GM Rob Pelinka Apparently Made Up A Bizarre Story About Kobe Bryant And Heath Ledger
I know we already wrote about ESPN’s delightfully detailed account of the Lakers’ deep-seated institutional rot, but this phony story GM Rob Pelinka invented about Kobe Bryant and Heath Ledger is too good not to call specific attention to....
A Punjabi Hockey Announcer Is Changing The Face Of Canada's Favorite Sport
You might already be familiar with hockey play-by-play announcer Harnarayan Singh’s work. His goal call for Nick Bonino’s winner in Game 1 of the 2016 Stanley Cup Playoffs went viral in hockey spheres, inspiring the Penguins to their fourth championship and inspiring everyone else to think, “Hold up...
Odubel Herrera Arrested For Suspected Domestic Violence
Multiple outlets are reporting that Philadelphia Phillies outfielder Odubel Herrera was arrested Monday night after police responded to a report of domestic violence in Atlantic City, New Jersey....
Fresno Grizzlies Are Sorry For Memorial Day Video That Showed Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez As Freedom’s Enemy
Between games of a Memorial Day doubleheader, the Fresno Grizzlies displayed a video on the big screen for the holiday. Backed by a selection from Ronald Reagan’s first inaugural address—the parts about freedom and dignity and how America will never surrender, not the parts about shrinking the feder...
Mallex Smith Circled The Bases In The Coolest Of Ways
You can keep your filthy “dingers,” your “dongs,” your “mashed taters,” you damn dirty apes! Corkscrew yourselves into hell for all I care! Give me a ruthless speedster thieving his way around the bases, as the Mariners’ Mallex Smith did to the pathetic Rangers in the bottom of the eighth inning las...
Daniel Vogelbach Hit A Homer So Meaty It Could Feed A Family Of Four
Look at the faces. No, not at the mugs of the guy at the plate or the guy on the mound, although you’ll find expressions of optimism and helplessness, respectively. Look into the stands, and gaze at all the “O”s on those fans’ faces, their expressions turning them into some kind of poorly organized ...
Top Recruit Stiff-Arms The NCAA
High school basketball player R.J. Hampton is the No. 5-ranked prospect on ESPN’s list of 100 recruits from the class of 2019, and this morning we all found out that he will not be playing college basketball next season. Instead, he will be playing in the Australian pro league as a member of the New...
AEW's Double Or Nothing Delivered As Both A Mission Statement And A Wrestling Show
LAS VEGAS — All Elite Wrestling’s inaugural event on Saturday night at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas gave fans a lot to digest, but more importantly it delivered a well-balanced and suitably fulfilling feast. What was supposed to be a taste of what’s to come from AEW, both in the ring and ...
Whoo Buddy, The Lakers Sound Like A Real Mess
Call ‘em the Showtime Lakers again, not because their utter organizational collapse of this past season was fun to watch—though it was definitely fun to watch—but because they melted down with levels of violence and obscenity that belong on premium cable. Luke Walton is gone as coach, replaced with ...
Deadspin Up All Night: Sittin' In The Mornin' Sun
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Take care....
Colorado Attorney Becomes The 11th Person To Die On Mt. Everest In 10 Days
Boulder attorney, Christopher Kulish, added to one of the deadliest climbing seasons in Mt. Everest history, becoming the 11th person to die on the mountain in 10 days. A news release from his brother said Kulish died early Monday morning on his way back down the mountain after reaching the summit e...
Aston Villa Are Returning To The Premier League
Aston Villa have made their way back to the Premier League after defeating Derby County 2-1 at Wembley in the Championship playoff final. The club joins Norwich City and Sheffield United as the three clubs heading to the top flight and replacing Huddersfield Town, Fulham and Cardiff City....
Old Man Wayne Rooney Got His Shit Wrecked
While he may not be carving up defense in MLS like he was during the second half of last season anymore, old man Wayne Rooney is still one of the league’s top scoring threats and teams are still figuring out the best way to stop him. The latest creative attempt came from New England Revolution keepe...